The Decision to Live
by zandra gorin
Summary: Edward has left Bella bringing his whole family with him. But what happens when new people move in Forks? Will the changes they make in Bella's life be irreversible? Or will Edward be able to come back and return to HIS Bella?
1. Lost for forever

Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters. They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 1: Lost for forever 

A week. It's been a whole week since he left me to rot in my own personal hell. But to me it felt like months, years maybe. I look out my window into the moonless sky, remembering the day he told me he didn't want me anymore. _'The day he realized could have someone much better than me.' _I thought to myself bitterly. I was riding an emotional roller coaster this past week.

The first day, my mind was drenched with denial. I woke up that morning after he left me thinking it was all just a bad dream, that when I opened my eyes the first things I would see were those topaz eyes and that crooked smile that always caught my breath… that everything would be fine, normal. But the sight that greeted me was the emptiness of my bedroom and the silence that struck me with the fact that no one was there.

I went to school hoping to wake up from my horrid nightmare, expecting him to pop up in class any moment. But I knew I was fooling myself when I got home and no one greeted me by the window that night. My mind had already acknowledged it but my heart only just started accepting the truth: The Cullens were gone. Edward was gone… he left me and took a huge part of me with him and I knew that I would never be whole again.

I cried myself to sleep that night and when I woke up, I cried a great deal more. That second day, I didn't go to school. I was afraid that the mere absence of his Volvo would cause me to break down.

Charlie went up to my room that night saying that Renee would be arriving tomorrow. I could see the pain in his eyes at the sight of my condition and it hurt me even more. But I couldn't hide what I was feeling when my insides felt as if it they were being ripped apart.

The third day I got enough courage to take a look at his picture in the scrapbook my mother gave me… only to find that it was no longer there. I desperately searched my room for it discovering that the CD and all the other remnants of Edward was nowhere to be found. That's when I remembered him telling me _"It would be like I never existed."_

Yesterday, I thought that I had no more tears left in me but I suddenly found my eyes swimming in them. I tried to be angry with him for taking away the only proof I had that I wasn't living in a fairy tale these past few years but I couldn't. I knew that I could never get angry at him even now when he left me feeling alone, vulnerable and most of all stupid… stupid for believing someone like him would want and love a normal, imperfect person like me. Renee arrived that evening but I was already asleep… pretending to be asleep.

The fourth day Renee and I talked. We talked like never before. _"Your life doesn't revolve around him. It's time to move on." _She told me. She was right in saying my life doesn't revolve because he _was my life_. When he left, he took me with him… the part that made me work, that made me Bella. But she was also right in saying I had to move on. But I was afraid. I was afraid of to let go of the only thing that kept me living: Edward. But I had to try. For Charlie, for Renee, for myself… for Edward.

The fifth day, I allowed myself to cry one last time and think of all the memories of the moments we had together. The sixth day, I set up walls around my heart, willing it to think of Edward for a last time and store him in a deep part of myself and never ever forget… but at the same time move on. On the seventh day, I escaped from my solitude. I went out of my room knowing that I would never be able to move on if I lock myself in my room filled with thoughts of him. I did my normal day-to-day activities but I was empty. A shell. I wasn't really Bella; I was just walking and sometimes talking inside her body. But I was trying my best to live the normal life Edward once said he wanted for me. Charlie saw my effort, I could tell. But I could still see the pain in his eyes because of my emptiness. He knew I was lost, I knew that too. But what I didn't know was that someone was going to try to find me… and I wouldn't like who it was at all.


	2. A New Leaf

Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters. They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 2: A New Leaf 

It was amazing how the rain comforted me when in the past I used to be so displeased by it. I woke up hearing the soft droplets of rain against my window, feeling a strange wave of calmness flood through my body. I took a bath, dressed up and went downstairs to find a note from Charlie saying he'd be home early and to take care. I ate breakfast, well… barely ate breakfast and went to school even if it was a bit too early to leave. I found a parking space for my truck and walked across the parking lot towards the school building, preparing myself for another monotonous day. The rain had stopped on my way here but it was still cloudy and overcast. As I walked on, I noticed a shiny blue Porsche parked near the entrance of the building. A new student? Or a visitor, perhaps? That was unexpected.

"Hey Bella. Good morning." Mike said, offering me a warm smile but eyeing me with concern at the same time. He knew the Cullens had moved, well of course everyone in Forks already knew that by this time, and he must have noticed or heard how hard I was taking it. Gossip does seem to revolve rather fast in this small town. Nevertheless, I returned his smile with a great deal of effort. My muscles were contracting harder than usual.

I took my usual seat at the back of the class, avoiding to look at the now empty chair beside me that no one bothered, dared to fill in. The teacher started discussing a lesson that was seemingly foreign to me so I tried to pay attention. But my concentration started ebbing away the first few minutes into the discussion. Social Ethics wasn't really on top of my favorite subjects list. I occupied myself by staring at the way my front mate's hair stood up in the most awkwardly wrong positions. I didn't even notice when Mr. Coop stopped from his ranting to introduce a new student. I only became aware when my classmates took in a LOT of breath and I could feel their stares by the goosebumps I started to feel. I didn't bother to look up, either way.

A rush of air went in the open window beside the now occupied chair next to me. That's when I smelled it. A scent that was sweeter and more alluring than anything I've ever smelled in my entire life, sending shivers down my body. My eyes snapped at the new person beside me and it widened with shock.

His face was composed but he had his jaw clenched, his posture was rigid and his golden eyes had the tiniest of black swimming in its center. Nevertheless, he was the perfect personification of beauty. His hair, similar to Edward's style, was the same shade as mine but it had streaks of a lighter brown where the faint sunlight hit it. His body was the same build as Edward's; his skin gave of the same glow and whiteness as the Cullens'. And if I only saw him walk up to his chair, I was sure that he was as graceful as them, gliding, no, dancing along the floor.

A chill went up my spine as I realized that he could pass of as Edward's twin. The only difference was his hair and lips which were, if possible, a more perfect shape than Edward's. I forced myself to look away as a sudden anger boiled up from inside me.

I knew it was wrong to be mad at someone you just met and don't know anything about, but for me, this was different. I was mad at him for bringing back emotions I was desperately trying to lock up. I was mad at him for acting so familiar beside me. I was mad at him for bringing back memories I didn't want to remember yet. But most of all, I was mad at him for coming to Forks and being… one of _them_.


	3. Premonitions

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: This chapter has been edited so if you guys already read this part, I'm afraid you'll have to read it again to keep up. Sorry for the inconvenience:))**

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Chapter 3: Premonitions 

The cafeteria buzzed with excitement that afternoon during lunch. That was unusual since lunch was always somehow subdued— well, it was for me.

At the moment, I thought I had gone deaf. There was sudden silence. And then, like a domino effect, every eye was at the door.

There were three people there. Actually, they weren't people. They were far too gorgeous to be considered people, far too perfect to be even considered human. They were vampires. But of course, I was the only person in the room who knew that, thanks to my out of the ordinary past.

The girl, hand in hand with the eldest looking boy had mahogany hair that curled, elaborately to her waist. She was slightly taller than Alice but never mind her height, if Rosalie was here, she would be up for some healthy competition. I was also stunned by her movements. She was like a ballerina on air.

I forced my eyes to the boy she held hands with. He had jet-black hair, expertly gelled and parted to the side. He wasn't as muscular as Emmet but still; he looked like he could rip off a bear's head. I stifled a giggle at the thought. He could easily do that if he wanted to. He was gorgeous, nevertheless.

And then there was _him— _the guy from my social ethics class. I concluded, without any doubt, that he was the most beautiful of the three.

They sat to themselves, not touching their food, as I expected. I continued to observe them but then the girl whispered something to the to the black haired boy. He looked at Edward's prospective twin. My unnamed classmate's eyes shot up to meet mine.

I immediately looked away. His gaze was exactly like Edward's when I first came to Forks. I felt my cheeks burn up. It hasn't done that for a long time.

"Do you think they're related to the Cullens?" My attention was grabbed by the last few words and I looked at my friends and realized I was the only one left staring at the new vampire family.

"There's a possibility, I mean, the Cullens are all adopted. And that guy in mine and Bella's social ethics class, Patrick Cullent, looks a lot like Edward Cullen," Jessica glanced at me, an evil grin formed on her lips. "Maybe he's… I don't know. His twin brother?" Oh. So that's his name. Cullent? Uh-oh. Too familiar. Not good.

"He doesn't have a twin brother." A voice whispered. Everyone at the table became silent and stared at me.

Oh. It was my voice that said that. I haven't really talked or participated in any conversation since _he_ left. I guess they were as surprised as I was.

"Oh." Jessica said, looking over at the Cullents' table as she did. Mike smiled at me encouragingly.

"Bella…" Jessica started hesitantly, eyes still at the Cullents' table, "They're staring at you."

My heart plummeted. I didn't want to look at them but my curiosity got the better of me. My eyes met theirs and a surge of electricity went throughout my body… I didn't like it. Something made my eyes travel towards Patrick and my breath was caught. He still had that look in his eyes, as if he was figuring out a completely convoluted puzzle.

My eyes dropped towards the table, my cheeks burned again and my heart had gone wild. Every eye on that table was still on me. I could feel it. But they weren't the only ones staring now. My friends were looking at me as if I were some item on display at the museum.

"It's rude to stare." I said under my breath, my gaze never leaving the table.

I felt their eyes leave me and I took that opportunity to glance at the Cullents' table. I saw that they too, had looked away. My eyes traveled towards Patrick and as I looked away, I saw a small smile. I did a double take and saw that the smile had been replaced by a look of worry and pain. My insides lurched and my chest contracted.

No. This is not good. No. No. No. No. No. I remembered _his _face again, _his _crooked smile. It stung me and I could feel the wound in my heart threaten to re-open. I know that if I allowed my walls to crumble, I wouldn't be able to handle the pain again. I couldn't let history repeat itself. I wouldn't.


	4. Empty

Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

A/N; Hey Guys! I just wanted you to know that Chapter 3… yeah, I changed some parts. So those of you who've read the original chapter 3, you need to read the new one to keep up:D sorry for the inconvenience but I just haaaaaad to edit some parts. Anyway, enjoy the rest of the story.:))

Chapter 4: Empty 

TWILIGHT AGAIN. I walk along the streets, passing couples sitting on benches and my mind drifts off to memories of her. My angel. My life. My Bella.

Only, she was not mine anymore. After, that episode with Jasper, it was too much for me to bare the hazards I had brought upon her life. She could have so much more than me. A normal life. A happy life, with no secrets to keep from her family.

I left her thinking it's for the best, for her safety. But she didn't know that.

Bella thought I had left her for all the wrong reasons. She thought I left her because I didn't want her anymore— that I had stopped feeling strongly for her and moved on.

This pained me to an extent I never could have imagined possible. I could see it in her eyes— she truly believed all the lies I said to her, all the lies which were oh so impossible to happen.

Never have I loved anyone so strongly that my whole existence depended on that person. I couldn't even bare the thought of an eternity without my Bella.

I laughed humorlessly at the irony of that thought. Yes, I couldn't stand the thought of an eternity without her, but here I am living a worthless life without her by my side.

But who was I deceiving? I wasn't living. I was just existing. Empty of all thoughts but those of Bella. Empty of all emotions but of the love I feel for her.

I was a selfish monster who wanted nothing more than to be beside her again— to stroke her hair, to see the beautiful blush on her cheeks, to hear the acceleration of her heartbeat caused by a single touch from me, to be lost in those magnificent eyes that exuded love for me that I did not deserve.

"Edward, you are not a monster." I froze. Bella could never have known I was here in Denali, moreover knew exactly what I was thinking.

I turned around not knowing what to expect. But there was no Bella there. Just ordinary people rushing to go to their destinations.

I sighed as I longed to hear her voice again, no matter what implications it might have on my brain functions.

I was thinking of her too much; hearing her voice crystal clear inside my mind, an exact copy.

This was a problem. I needed a distraction, something to preoccupy myself with.

Then a reasonable idea hit me. I would go back home tomorrow to Carlisle and the others and prepare myself for a long trip.

Victoria was still out there, lurking somewhere. Possibly even wanting to… a growl started inside my chest before I even finished my trail of thought.

The only way to ensure Bella's safety from external forces— I could not protect her from self- induced accidents now— was to get rid of Victoria.

Laurent was already trying our vegetarian life. Tanya's clan would take care of him.

I didn't know where Victoria was right now, but I would search everywhere for her. I was going to try my hand at tracking.

Marshi: Yea, I was feeling a LITTLE emotional while I was writing this so there you have it, a very heartbroken Bella.

As if he never existed: Thanks:))


	5. Something New

Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews. Now I am able to update a little faster knowing that I have happy readers.:) yay! I don't really like this chapter much but here it is. Enjoy chapter 5:)

**Chapter 5: Something New**

"Bella!" I dropped my spoon as my head snapped up from my reverie.

"Hmm-mm?"

"You weren't even listening to what I was saying, were you?" Charlie's brow furrowed and a frown started to form on his lips. He was clearly very disappointed in me.

I sighed and cast my gaze downwards. Edward once questioned my choice of food for breakfast. I flinched.

"That's it Bella. We need to talk." Uh-oh. I really needed to pay attention more. I was starting to feel guilty about almost always being immersed in my own thoughts.

My eyes didn't leave the cereal bowl but my attention was now all out on Charlie. I didn't want to do anymore damage than I had already caused due to my inattentiveness.

The phone rang. Hallelujah! Charlie left the table to answer the phone, but he still continued to look at me as he conversed with the person on the other line. I didn't even bother to listen to his conversation.

When he put down the phone, he walked immediately towards the door, jacket in hand.

"You're still not off the hook, Bells." He said in a lighter tone.

I arrived at school with a lot of time in my hands, so I walked slower than usual towards the building. A blue Porsche went past me, almost in a blur. The driver would have to be suicidal to drive in that speed!

I stared at the car, not bothering to hide my irritation. Wow. I was irritated. At least I knew it was now possible for me to contain more than two emotions at once— after the… yeah.

The Porsche parked 4 cars down my beloved truck. My eyes grew wide. Two of the most gorgeous creatures I've ever laid eyes on got out from the back passenger seats. The door from the driver side opened.

Not good. Nothing good could possibly occur— to me— if I stayed here too long.

I quickened my pace, never daring to look back. I didn't slow down until I reached my first period classroom.

I sat down on my usual seat and felt instantly uneasy. I did not see it but Patrick had followed me in. He sat down swiftly next to me, as graciously as ever.

It was still early and there were only a handful of people inside the room. I could tell that something was out of place.

When the Cullents arrived last week, Patrick never entered my Spanish class— regardless of his 3-day absence.

So why was he here all of a sudden, sitting down next to me when there were still more than a dozen empty chairs to choose from? It was too shallow for me to put much thought into but it was too intriguing for me to let down.

I angled my chair slightly away from him and rested my face in the palm of my hands. I let my hair fall down, acting as a curtain between us.

I didn't want to let him see my cheeks turn crimson due to the way he was staring at me… again.

5 minutes before class and the classroom was almost full. He could have pre- occupied himself by staring at someone else the past 10 minutes, but no. The vampires always only had to have interest in me. Why? I sighed.

I couldn't take it any more. The curiosity from all the un- answered questions in my head was driving me insane. I took in a deep breath and faced him.

I opened my mouth to ask a question but he looked away. Great. _Now_ he looks away. Ugh.

I crossed my arms and forced my head to turn to a different direction. But I couldn't. The curiosity was too much to bear. I looked at him again.

"What are you doing here?"


	6. Questions

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

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**Chapter 6: Questions**

My voice faltered mid-sentence as he turned to meet my gaze. I observed that his hands were clenched at the edge of his desk and his posture became rigid when I started to talk. Nevertheless, he answered me with a small smile.

"Excuse me?" Since it was the first time I heard his voice, I was caught with lowered defenses. I was expecting it to be brilliant, yes. But what I wasn't prepared for was for it to be perfect.

It was too smooth, too rich, far too velvety and perfect to be unable to stun even the coldest creature alive— in every sense of the word. I had to remind myself to breathe, as the sweet scent his breath gave off threatened to intoxicate me.

"I mean, what are you doing in my Spanish class?" My voice was a little too rough for my own good.

His eyes were filled with amusement as he chuckled. "Well, it's my Spanish class too."

"Impossible," my voice was weak. Couldn't he stop using his perfect voice against me? "You've been here for more than a week and you've never set foot in first period Spanish." I willed my voice to be stronger.

His eyes slightly tightened. "Bella, it's not my fault that you are very unobservant with your surroundings." He sighed.

I blinked, surprised. "Why did you call me that?"

"Do you prefer Isabella?" his eyes gave off the slightest hint of confusion.

"No… but we've never been introduced, have we?" I was unsure, I racked my mind for something that would contradict my statement. There was nothing. "So, how did you know my name?" Even more my name preference, I thought to myself.

I saw the rush of different emotions in his eyes; his confusion turned to comprehension, then wonder, amazement, fear and indecision, then it was too fast to comprehend.

"What, you can read minds too?" I mumbled to myself.

His eyes tightened but his face was a mask of calmness when he spoke again.

"Reading minds? That is absurd."

"You don't want to answer my question."

"Forks is a small town Bella," he sighed. "There aren't too many people."

I felt he was a little uneasy, as if he'd rather we didn't discuss this matter. "And it's actually very easy for me to remember certain things, your name, for instance." He chuckled. My heart thumped uncontrollably. He laughed. I guess his vampire hearing heard the acceleration.

His face turned serene. "And things that other people may tend to forget very easily." He continued, saying the last part mostly to himself, a small frown visible on his perfect lips.

That was a direct shot. Things people forget easily— Or maybe… a person that someone could forget pretty easily—I could be the best example, if that was the case. I cringed.

I mentally kicked myself. What was I doing having this kind of conversation with him? I was supposed to be mad at him, wasn't I? And why was I thinking like this? It's wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I promised myself that I would not let history repeat itself and I wasn't doing very well in keeping this promise. I needed to control myself.

I couldn't allow myself to befriend him, to get close to him— to get attached to him in any way. It was too risky seeing as they were the same kind of what I was trying to run away from. But was I trying to run away?

I may have been thinking that I was avoiding any reminders of— I breathed in— Edward these past weeks but it now became clear to me that what I was doing was the exact opposite.

I was unconsciously seeking things to allow me to remember him more clearly. I was still holding on— clinging to every memory that I could find of him, of us— hoping that these memories would sufficiently fill up the hole he left in me.

I wasn't trying to run away. I was trying to go back— trying, unconsciously, to live again.

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**Hey guys! thanks for all the great reviews! It has helped me a lot. The next few chapters will be a litlle delayed 'cause our finals are comin' up, so yeah. A little patience, if you may.:) Lastly, keep the reviews coming!:D thanks!**


	7. Subtle Changes

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: I'm sooooo sorry about the immense delay of this chapter. I had such a heavy load that I couldn't find time to squeeze this in. As a treat, (and as an act of my utmost repentance) I made this chapter longer than my usual ones. I really hope you enjoy. Edward will be coming in in future chapters so stay tuned.;) And don't worry about Bella falling in love with Patrick… at least not just yet (insert evil laugh here). :) And lastly keep the brilliant reviews coming, it really helps me function so much better knowing I have very interested readers.:)**

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**Chapter 7: Subtle Changes**

"Bella! Aren't you going to sit down?" It was lunchtime and I was standing in the middle of the cafeteria, busy looking for a sea of messy brown hair when Jessica's voice interrupted my thoughts. Wait. Why was I looking for a sea of messy brown hair n the first place? Ugh. I shuddered.

"Oh, sorry." I pulled a chair and sat down, still a bit disoriented from what happened. After our small talk, Patrick was in all of my morning classes and walked with me— or rather, alongside me going to the cafeteria, intoxicating me once again with his sweet, breathtaking scent. I was still going through this morning's events when the conversation at our table jerked me back to reality. 

"…why the Cullents didn't go to school today."

I stared at Mike. "What? What do you mean?"

"Haven't you noticed they weren't here this morning?"

"But…" I stopped. Maybe I was going crazy. Maybe I just made the whole thing up this morning… No. I was sure of what had happened. It wasn't just any illusion I brought up from the back of my mind. But I revised what I was going to say anyway. "But I saw them get out of their car this morning."

"Hey." Everyone's focus left me and went to Ben instead as he sat down next to Angela. "I heard the Cullents went to Seattle today." 

My eyes widened with shock. Impossible. I was _not _going senile. My friends looked, glanced at me.

"Do you know why?" I heard Mike asked.

"I think the girl was joining some sort of contest. What's her name again?" his brow furrowed in an effort to remember.

"Lassarina, I think. I won't be surprised if she joined a beauty contest and won." Mike said, his eyes glazing over. "You should have seen how she left Mr. Brown speechless when she smiled as he introduced her and the other guy… Ethan I think." He paused and laughed lightly. "You do know how hard it is to keep Mr. Brown from babbling don't you?"

Jessica looked a little annoyed and started tapping her fingers impatiently on the table. "Yeah she's good looking alright. But a pretty face isn't enough to get her high marks." She smirked.

"Pretty is an understatement! And I heard that she was an honor student in her previous school and she even had loads of extracurricular activities and advanced lessons!" Angela's face was in awe. 

I was a little shook up. It took much for Angela to talk, more so say more than two sentences. She must feel really strongly about this girl. But I wasn't able to pay attention anymore to their discussion about Lassarina's intellectual abilities. I was bewildered by everything that happened. I could bet my life that this morning was NOT a dream. I did see the Cullents get out of the blue Porsche and Patrick _was _with me the whole morning. 

But why was I the only one who thought this? Why did everyone else think that the Cullents were in Seattle because Lassarina was off to join some stupid beauty pageant? I was really starting to doubt my sanity. Forks just couldn't get any weirder.

I got home that evening to find an expectant Charlie sitting on the couch. Without the TV on. Oh no. This couldn't be any good.

"Hey Dad," I greeted him. "What's up?" Please just get this over with.

"Hey Bells," he kissed my cheek. His eyes narrowed, intrigued with whatever he saw as he inspected my face. "How was school?" Suspicion filled his voice. I immediately wondered how I looked when I entered the living room. What could have brought on the suspicion in his voice?

"It was okay, nothing eventful." I looked at the floor with today's events still fresh in my mind. "Look, I'm just going to make dinner." I could feel Charlie's eyes following me towards the kitchen but when I looked back, he was already absorbed on the game in the now open television. So much for getting things over.

Dinner started quietly, though I was on the end of my seat waiting for Charlie to start talking about… things. I was starting to relax and think that he was letting me off the hook for whatever I did when he put down his spoon and sighed.

"Bella, I know what you're going through is tough," He started hesitantly. "Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing you know."

My brow furrowed when he had started, confused about what he was letting on. But realization dawned on me and I had an instant scowl on my face. What we were about to discuss was forbidden territory. It was a chapter in my life that both of us had avoided… up till now.

I instantly felt the hole threaten to open as I sighed. I waited.

"When your mother left," he began, frowning, "and took you with her." He paused, inhaling deeply. "Well, that was a really difficult time for me."

My forehead contracted as I sat stiffly, my eyes never leaping the table.

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "Bells, you're not handling it. I waited, hoping it would get better." I glanced at him, playing with my hands. "It's been almost two months and I think we both know that it's not getting better."

"I'm fine dad." I answered as truthfully as I could manage. I honestly felt fine during that moment… during the entirety of this day, in fact.

"Honey, I want to be honest with you. I think you'll have a better chance if you got out of Forks." My eyes flashed up with tremendous feeling I'd had in too long to contemplate. "I was thinking of sending you back to Renee."

"No! I'm not—" he cut me as tears threatened to spill out due to my anger when I abruptly stood up.

"Bella, please just hear me out first." I remained standing, my hands clenched into fists as I concentrated on calming myself. It would do me or Charlie no good if I had an outburst. Not now when he was speaking more freely than he ever had since I came to live with him. I looked at him, waiting.

"Bells, when you walked in that door today, I saw something different. I couldn't place what it was," he paused and looked searchingly into my eyes, "but you weren't as empty as you used to be." He continued softly, a small smile appearing. "I thought over about sending you back to Renee while you were making dinner. Maybe it was a bit too drastic." He said the latter thinking to himself. "I should give you more time to adjust. I know how difficult it is," he grinned suddenly, "besides, I would miss your cooking terribly if I were to ship you off to Renee so suddenly."

My body relaxed and I dropped back down to my chair. "I'm trying my best dad." I sighed.

"I know you are, honey. But don't try too hard, you might find yourself slipping off more than being able to hold yourself up." He smiled.

I woke up in the middle of the night crying and screaming. The hole had opened up again thanks to Charlie's talk. 

I dreamed I was surrounded by the Cullents, as if barricading me from two ghostly white figures moving so fast , all I could see were blurs. It took me a moment to realize that the fire dancing with the magnificent bronze was Victoria… and Edward. 

My eyes widened with fear for Edward's safety. I tried to go towards him but two ice-cold, rock hard arms enveloped me, trying to stop me. _"No. You're not safe yet," _The velvet voice tried to tell me through my struggles. 

I looked back at the fight only to find that it was over. All I saw were the flames gobbling up Victoria's remains and Edward's figure retreating towards the forest. 

I screamed his name against the iron arms that still bounded me, pleading him to come back. He looked back, his golden eyes filled with pain, with longing, his beautiful face screwed up in torture. This caused me to cry out even more; it was wrong to see an angel in so much pain. I closed my eyes as I sobbed, then I woke up.

The tears didn't stop falling. I was shaking and I couldn't stop, I couldn't fight it… I didn't want to fight it. I was tired of just taking everything in and losing grasp of reality in the process, wallowing in self-pity and despair. I was tired… so tired. My heavy lids fell as I saw the tree outside my window rock, as if something heavy jumped off it.

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**Review, review!:D**


	8. Repetitions and Realizations

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Chapter 8: Repetitions and Realizations**

The morning passed like a blur, the dream I had still in mind. The Cullents were back and everything was normal— well, normal in Forks standard.

There was one thing that bothered me though-- Patrick was avoiding me. He didn't talk to me anymore during classes and his eyes, no forget his eyes, his entire body went rigid every time he stood within a 1-meter radius from me. It was unnerving to see him act that way, not to mention too familiar.

Charlie still hasn't shipped me off back to Renee so I thought I was doing a good job doing… whatever I was doing. He was right in saying I wasn't as empty as before, I could also feel that now. But there was a new feeling, resurfacing, trying to break down the now vulnerable walls set around me. That raw emotion wasn't strong enough yet but I was already preparing for the strong impact I was sure it had.

It was just a few more days to Christmas and Angela and I were walking towards the parking lot talking about a need for Christmas shopping. Well, her need for Christmas shopping. I listened and reacted to everything she said very honestly. It was really easy being around Angela.

"See you tomorrow Bella." She waved as I smiled in response. I walked a few more steps and a chill went up my spine. "Bella watch out!" I turned around as Angela shouted and a car spun out of control towards me. 

I was frozen in shock. It was a serious case of Dejavu—that was my first thought. I hadn't even brought it upon myself to go out of the car's way. 

Suddenly, a pair of cold arms enclosed me and buried my face to the owner's chest— allowing me to take in the indescribable, alluring sweetness that came off it.

The movements were too fast for me to comprehend because the next thing I knew, I was safe in Patrick's arms, the car had stopped before it hit the wall and the only damage it sustained was a small dent in the front.

"Bella, are you alright?" Patrick said in a low voice, unsuccessfully hiding his anxiety.

It took a while to register that we were both on the ground and my nails were digging into the blue polo he was wearing. I stared at him, at a loss for words, not bothering to mask my surprise.

There were a million questions running in my mind at that moment but I pushed them aside. He saved me from being crushed like Edward did. And I saw the concern in his eyes, heard the anxiety in his voice and somehow felt some unknown emotion through the depth of his topaz eyes. 

He was still holding me against his chest when I noticed something. He wasn't breathing. Then it all clicked. When he sat beside me that first day of his, he sat as far away from me as possible. His posture was rigid and his fists were clenched, his eyes turned darker by the minute. He avoided me these past few days and he would tense up every time I passed by, not to mention his eyes would harden and his jaw would be set. 

But by some unexplained phenomena, I was now in this gorgeous creature's arms as he had just saved me from being run over even though my blood had made him crazyever since he started going to school here in Forks. 

Now here he was, not breathing and for all I know, fighting the monstrous urge to sink his teeth into my neck. I was stupid not to have been able to recognize these actions earlier! I knew I was right. I smelled to him as I had to Edward, but if the scent to him was stronger or not was something I could not put my finger into. But Iwas somehow confident thathe would not have a lapse in self-control right now. His eyes were very light— suggesting that he hunted not a very long time ago and that his thirst could be much more bearable.

"Isabella!" Patrick shook me once again.

I blinked up at him. My body was frozen and I stared up at his face. Here I was, defenseless in the arms of a vampire that possibly wanted to devour me and what do I do? Stare at his impossibly beautiful face. I felt my eyes glaze over.

"Bella, please. Focus," he said, cupping one of my cheeks in his cold hand. How good of him to do exactly the opposite of what it would take to regain my focus. "Is something wrong? Does anything hurt?" his voice was mixed with concern and amusement. A hint of a smile was forming on his perfect lips.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Snap out of it!" The smooth voice of Edward growled menacingly in my head. Wait. Edward? In my head? Maybe something was wrong with me. But what the heck, if it enabled me to hear Edward I would just let it be.

"Oh!" I sat up abruptly, finally regaining my mind having been startled by Edward's voice.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that kind of response," Patrick's eyes were filled with amusement. "But still, it's more comforting than having no response at all." A smile was playing on his lips again.

I looked around for the out of control car but it was now nowhere to be found. A small number of people were already heading out of school. I stood up, brushing off the dirt that my pants had sustained from sitting on the ground.

"How?" I asked him, my head turned toward the ground. I saw out of the corner of my eyes that his body became rigid. I took a few tentative steps backward, hoping it could help and allow him to breathe again.

"How what?" his voice was guarded. His expression unreadable.

"How did you know a car was about to…" something got stuck in my throat and I wasn't able to finish my sentence.

"I was walking behind you and your friend."

Angela! I had completely forgotten about her. I turned to look for her and saw that her car was no longer there. What? She left? After she saw that I was about to be practically made into road sandwich? That was twisted and definitely not Angela-like behavior. Even Jessica would have come over after what happened. Maybe much more for the gossip than the concern but still.

"She left a few moments ago."

"Huh?" I was feeling like a complete idiot around this guy. 

"Your friend. She left when she saw that you were unscathed."

I looked at Patrick. His eyes seemed uneasy. My eyes narrowed and I forced them to look away.

"Are you certain that you're alright?" he frowned. "Maybe I should drive you home."

"What? No!" I couldn't let him do that. I wasn't that eager to undermine his self- control by enclosing myself in a car with him. 

He looked taken aback. Maybe that came out a more forcefully than I'd panned. He was only trying to make sure I was safe— I reasoned with myself.

"Yes, maybe you're right," he said pensively. "There would be no guarantee..." He frowned again, saying this mostly to himself then he sighed. "Please be careful going home. I won't be there if you encounter anymore accidents," Then a small smile flitted across his face, "which, I might add, seem to find you as easily as I can remember your name."

I nodded and I blushed. The amusement in his eyes grew. I walked towards my truck but stopped. "Oh wait." I turned to face him as I said this. "I know you weren't behind me and Angela a while ago. The lot was completely empty of students during that time."

He stared at me with a slightly surprised expression. "You're not such a good liar." I added, smiling. I loved it when I made vampires speechless. "I just thought you should know that I know." I continued smiling as walked back to my truck. 

As I backed the truck and left school, I looked for him wanted to see if he was still shocked or not but he was no longer there. Blasted vampire speed.

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	9. Remembering You

**Author's note:**

Ok. So most of you are asking why it's twilighty right now. It's like this. Right now, Bella wants to move on with her life and is, in a way, trying to run away from the hurt her past has given her, losing her Bella-ness in the process. But life isn't fair and lets what she's running away from catch up with her— in a way. Although… life isn't too cruel to her and gives her some source of sanity.;) So these reminders, these dejavu events help comfort her instead of letting the pain crash in on her again by letting her reminisce all the events that led up to her and Edward being a couple. Of course, you're gonna say that is twisted. Shouldn't she be more hurt what with all these reminders of Edward? Well let me remind you that Bella's way of thinking is far different from most humans. And I used that concept. She finds a whole new Edward in Patrick and Patrick sort of helps stitch her up as the story goes on. In this fic, the huge similarity with Edward that she finds in Patrick is not heart shredding but comforting, possibly even endearing. You'll find a deeper reason as the story goes on. There is still sooo much more that is going to happen, you know. Anyways, back to the explanation. Patrick here serves as somewhat like Jacob and wakes the Bella inside her, willing her to live again. But of course, it isn't smooth sailing for any of them. So stay tuned to see how Bella, Patrick and Edward cope with things and see how the story turns out.:) I hope that explains things and if you have more questions, please don't hesitate to ask.:) Oh, and don't worry. Edward will be back soon… maybe.:) Muwahahaha.

**Now, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.

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**Chapter 9: Remembering You**

"Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no."

"What is it Alice?"

"She almost got killed! Jasper, she was almost run down by a car!" I paced about the room. We were in Denali, visiting Tanya's family. And Edward was in who knows where when Bella was back in Forks slimly surviving a near-death experience thanks to an anonymous vampire that just moved in and there was no guarantee that Bella was safe from him because his control could waver any minute thanks to Bella's indescribable blood sweetness!

I was not panicking. Clearly, I was not panicking! I instantly felt a wave of calmness emanate through my body.

"Thanks Jas." I smiled.

"No problem," his gaze full of love, "shouldn't we tell Edward?"

I sighed. "I would if he would just answer his stupid phone." 

Last time I called to tell him about the new vampire family that moved into Forks, he didn't answer his phone. Honestly, why was he keeping a phone with him if wasn't even going to use it? Of course, he made me promise not to keep tabs on Bella knowing it would be all the more difficult for him to resist going back to her. I followed his wish… but that didn't mean I could stop the visions from coming on their own. I was too attuned to Bella.

"Alice you said she was almost run down. What happened?" Jasper snapped me from my reverie. His voice was transparent with concern— he may not be as close to Bella as I was but he cares for her as much as I do… he just isn't comfortable enough to show it.

"She would have been killed if that vampire hadn't interceded." I said softly.

"Is Bella safe now, then?" I stared at him darkly. When has Bella ever been safe?

"From the car? Yes. From the vampire? No."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

_**When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears. I held your hand through all of these years and you still have all of me.—Evanescence, My Immortal**_

"Aah!" I sighed. "Why did I fall for that?" 

I followed Victoria's scent up to Texas and now I was in Brazil. Realization dawned on me when it was too late. I was following a false trail and by now, her scent was all but gone. I tried to retrace my steps hoping to catch it again but it was for no avail.

My focus wavered as my thoughts came back to Bella. Tracking down Victoria wasn't really that much of a distraction. I was horrible at tracking! I wasn't even in the right continent. 

I laughed at the irony. I couldn't track Victoria but I had no difficulty hearing out Bella's heartbeat as long as it was within my vampire hearing. I had a hard time following another vampire's scent but I could keep track of Bella's scent as naturally as breathing. Up to now, I still couldn't explain the phenomenal draw I had towards my angel… 

Ugh! What situation had I put myself into? I couldn't stand being away from Bella any longer. I wasn't trying to live through one week at a time or even one day. I was fighting through a single hour. It was only a matter of time before I boarded a plane and went back to Forks. I would beg Bella to take me back if I had to.

But that shouldn't happen. I left to protect her from the monster I was and I could never allow my control over my selfish desires to waver. As far as I knew, what I was doing was for the best, for my love, no matter how much it tore me apart.

I lost my trail of thought as the cell phone in my pocket vibrated. Alice. It was the second time this month that she called in only a margin of a week or so and the nth time she called this day.

I debated with myself whether I would answer or not. It was possible that my family just wanted to know where I was. And I couldn't possibly face them, not right now when I was still crumpled and broken.

I thought of how hard the situation was for Carlisle and Esme. They didn't want to move out of Forks but they trusted my decision. They would do anything to keep Bella away from harm. 

Alice was the one who contested my decision the most. She said it would only pain me further, more so Bella, if we left. If I wanted to protect her, I should stay with her was what Alice said. She really has regarded Bella as a sister—but this feeling was backed up with the vision of Bella as a new born.

But Alice's reasoning was illogical to me. How could I possibly protect Bella from what I was if I continued to be with her? It didn't make any sense. Every waking minute she spent with me was already a suicide attempt. 

I sighed again. But what if Alice was calling because something important occurred? It was far from being implausible. 

What if she got a vision about Bella and it was anything but nice? Having Bella's luck, that was a possibility. But I told Alice not to keep tabs on Bella and she promised. I trust her enough to not go back on her word.

I stared at the rising sun finally deciding on answering her call. But as I was about to open it, it stopped ringing. She would call again if t was anything important. You can hand it to Alice on being a pest when the situation called for it.

I put my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes as I secluded myself in a dark unlit alleyway knowing the sun would not reach me there. It would cause my skin to sparkle and I couldn't let people see that. I chuckled as I remembered once saying to Bella how much a traffic jam that would cause.

So I stayed there in that unlit alleyway allowing thoughts of my past with Bella to intrude. I remembered her smile, how the blood rushed to her cheeks as she blushed and the way her chocolate brown eyes exuded such strong emotion as she sat down on my lap and gazed into my eyes, that very first time she said "I love you."

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	10. Unexpected Visitor

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Chapter 10: Unexpected Visitor**

When I got home, Charlie wasn't there yet. I figured I could still do my homework before I made dinner. I went to my room and laid out my books in front of me. The leaves of the tree outside my window occasionally swaying… probably due to the wind. Since it was kind of stuffy inside I opened my window but I was surprised because there wasn't much wind… hmm. That was weird. Another mystery Forks has brought on.

I was midway through my Calculus homework when somebody knocked on the door. I rushed down the stairs wondering who it might be— without tripping, amazingly enough.

I opened the door and the sunlight blinded me temporarily. I blinked furiously until the light diminished slightly. But there was still a portion that didn't want to go away. It was just there— glittering.

Wait. The sun didn't glitter. It shined, yes. And it causes certain things around it to glitter but it in itself did not glitter. I heard a clicking sound in my head as it absorbed and analyzed the information it just gathered. I stood there, wide-eyed with shock.

What was left in front of me was not sunlight— it was a vampire. A stupid one at that. What idiotic vampire would allow themselves to be exposed like that?

"Hello," the musical voice said in amusement, "may I come in?" Oh. He really is a stupid vampire. So what would he do if people came past, huh? My temper flared up together with my anxiety.

"What are you doing?!" I hurriedly pulled him inside, afraid of the consequences of him staying outside for even a second more… but failing to think of the consequences of putting him inside the house at that. Now who's stupid? Ugh.

"Well, I was checking to see if you got home safely," he was surprised by the suddenness of my reaction, "and apparently you have." He smiled.

"No! I meant what were you doing standing under the s—" I cut off. I got so inclined in my emotions that I forgot he didn't know that I knew more than I should. We both tensed.

"Under the what?" his eyes were tight.

"Nothing. Never mind." I murmured the latter part but of course, he would hear it.

We stood in awkward silence and I watched his uneasy eyes— darting back and forth mine as he was seemingly having an internal battle with himself. When his posture finally became relaxed, he sighed and took a step near me.

"Bella."

I stood still. Other than clenching my fists, I was unable to move a muscle no matter how hard I screamed at them to move. My heart started beating uncontrollably. I couldn't decipher whether it did so as a warning that something was going to go horribly wrong or simply just because of the intensity of Patrick's smoldering gold eyes.

"We need to talk," his voice was controlled but his eyes were wary.

"We are talking," I feigned innocence as my posture relaxed slightly. He saw through it.

A hint of frustration entered his expression. "You know what I mean."

I sighed. "What do you want to talk about?" I said as I lead him to the living room, ushering him to sit down with my hands.

He stayed silent. His eyes filled with curiosity, blazing at its intensity as he observed me. I watched as his eyes traveled through my hair, my nose, my lips, saving my eyes for the last.

I cringed as our eyes met, Edward's eyes staring at mine, embodied as Patrick. I jerked my eyes away as I felt my cheeks grow warm and my pulse quicken under his gaze.

"How well do you know me Bella?"

**(A/N: Ok. I seriously debated against myself if I would end here or not but I wanted to be a bit nice so I didn't.>:))**

"Not so much," I was growing uneasy. I knew what he meant by that question but I couldn't seriously tell him I knew better than anyone else who and what they were. I couldn't possibly tell him how relentlessly I observed them at school, still amazed by their inhuman beauty and graceful movements— at least not now, not here.

He sighed. I knew he saw through me. "I knew you wouldn't really speak your mind so easily to me," I almost didn't hear him say this, his voice being so low and soft. He cleared his throat, "Can you at least please tell me what you were about to say awhile ago?"

I looked up at him. His eyes were quietly pleading. It hit me with surprise and I found myself blurting out what he was asking of me. "What were you doing standing under the sun?"

"And what's so wrong with me standing under the sun?" he smiled slightly maybe to ease the tension but his eyes were guarded.

My eyes were still locked with his and I couldn't bring myself to look away… And I couldn't resist the power his eyes brought that encouraged me to say what I really knew. My calm expression faltered and my eyes became uneasy. His smile widened and he waited, knowing I was about to give in.

I started out hesitantly, "People might have passed and saw that…"

"Saw what?" he prompted. His eyes were alight with curiosity and uneasiness. I sighed.

"You were sparkling," His expression grew unreadable and I took in a lot of breath.

"Your skin was sparkling under the sun like any vampire's would."

**You! Yes, you! You know what to do. Click that button and Review.:)**


	11. The beginning

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate it. About Edward... do you guys think he's gonna come back to Forks? I have hinted something about this in one of the past chapters so it's up to you to find out and believe what you want to believe.;) Continue reading so you'll find out.:p Anyhoo... On with the story!:D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Chapter 11: The Beginning**

His frustrated voice ended the long silence, "I don't understand."

I chanced a glance and I saw through my lashes how his hands covered his face and slid to grasp his hair. I fought the urge to stretch out my hand— to soothe him.

He faced me, "How?" his expression was tortured.

"Excuse me?"

"How could you remember seeing my skin sparkling?"

My eyes widened with disbelief. "Well it is pretty easy as it could classify as one of the wonders of the world."

He shook his head. "No. You don't understand."

"Then will you care to enlighten me?" I started growing sarcastic.

He was debating with himself again. It was unnerving to see his usually calm façade down. Now he showed such raw emotion that made something inside of me stir.

"I don't know how."

I thought for a while, "Why don't you start from the basics? Or from the beginning?"

I could see he was still deciding on whether he would tell me or not.

I gave him an encouraging smile. "You can trust me you, know."

"I know… and I do." He started out hesitantly, "I don't remember my past. I lost my memory after…" he trailed off. "All that I came to know now about how I was brought into my family was how Vaughan recounted it."

"Vaughan?"

"He's my father… figure." I nodded to let him know I understood.

"I don't know where I lived. Vaughan said he just found me lying on the pavement. He was debating himself whether to change me or not after he brought me to his house, unsure whether he could do it. He never did it before and he has never tasted human blood. In the end he resolved in letting me stay human. I wasn't too injured that I was on the brink of death. No, I just obtained a few incisions and bruises here and there. Josette worked on me and nursed me to health. She's his wife, our mother and a great doctor." He said the latter seeing that I was about to question him. "And I was young. Too young. I was just 8 years old when that happened. When I woke up, I had no inclination of whatever happened to me. I couldn't remember my family, my name, anything."

His gaze was faraway and I was thinking if he forgot that he was telling me his story. Then he started again, albeit with a rough voice.

"He searched for my family, got his hands on private documents. God only knows how he did it." He chuckled. "He found out my father died in war… he was a soldier you see." His fists clenched. "And my mother, she was nowhere to be found. It was like she disappeared out of thin air."

"Did you know that Vaughan was a… a vampire?" I hesitated in saying the word.

"During that time, no. Nor did I know Josette was one too." I nodded. "As young as I was at the time, I was just astounded on how beautiful they were, how evident their gracious movements were and how captivating their voices were— musical and perfect."

"They continued searching for my mother, never losing hope— even if mine was all but gone." He paused. "You have to understand, as much as I believe I wanted to go home, to be welcomed back by my mother, to be embraced in her endearing arms… I was not a fool to not see that if she really wanted me back, she would be the one looking for me and not the other way around. But I'm assuming that there was still a tiny fragment of hope left in me since I still let Vaughan and Josette help me look for her even though almost 5 years had past since that incident. I continued to live with them, very grateful that they allowed me houseroom and did not just leave me in an orphanage to rot."

He paused again and closed his eyes, burying his face in his hands. I was then aware how defeated his disposition came and I could feel the anxiety build up again inside me.

"You asked me awhile ago if I knew what Vaughan and Josette truly were and I said I didn't." he removed his face from his hands and his expression was unreadable. "But after living with them for almost 9 years I grew suspicious. They didn't age the same way other people did. They preferred to eat after I was done but I never saw them really doing it. And I was sure by that time that they didn't sleep."

His posture became tense. "I was seventeen and I was about to confront them about my suspicions one evening. I wanted to know the truth." He paused, taking an unneeded breath. "Vaughan got to me first. His face looked grave when he told me so I thought it was some bad news but it wasn't. He had news about my biological mother. After all those years he had finally found her, imagine my surprise."

"But there was more. He found out my mother got remarried and bore a child, two years after I got lost. " His jaw clenched. "He asked me if I wanted to go see her and I said no. Even if he had found her, in my heart, my mother had been long lost. Dead. Josette was my mother now."

"After dinner that same night, Vaughan saw that I was preoccupied with something. He thought I was thinking about my mother but that was the least of my worries. I still didn't know the truth about the people I was living with, the people I know called family and I just couldn't shove it aside."

"I told him what I thought. He called Josette and Lyra to the room we were in." Seeing as I was about to interrupt he answered my unvocalized question. "Lyra is their daughter. You see, Vaughan, Josette and Lyra are biologically related. You can just ask them the story some time in the future."

I nodded.

"That same night, they told me the truth. They were vampires but they didn't drink human blood. Lyra discovered that animal blood worked as well as human blood so she influenced them." his brow furrowed. "I was shocked and I didn't know how to react. I was angry at them. How could they have kept that a secret for so long? Was I not a part of their family already? A million things dawned on me that evening. I was so frustrated that I ran away. I didn't know where I was going to go and I was distracted the whole time I was driving that I got into a car accident. I knew I wasn't going to survive, I could feel my heart dying and my breathing grew shallower by the minute."

He paused and closed his eyes. "But then I felt someone yank me out of the car. Vaughan had followed me— worried about what I might do. He was shaken by what happened to me but he knew if he didn't do anything right then and there, I would die."

He looked somewhere and chuckled lightly. I followed his gaze. I was so absorbed in the story that I didn't realize how white the ends of my fingers were as they were clutching my pants. I felt my cheeks grow warm.

"Needless to say, he changed me. He didn't know if he would be able to resist the taste of human blood but his desire of saving me overpowered the bloodlust." He gave me a small smile. "And now here I sit."

"Wow." I said. A little dazed by his story.

"Do you know much about vampires Bella?"

"A little." I mumbled.

"Do you know that some vampires have abilities that others don't have?"

I nodded as I bit my lip.

"I was confused awhile ago when you remembered that my skin sparkled." He said calmly.

"Why? Shouldn't I?"

"And I take it you didn't forget about the incident this afternoon." He asked, ignoring my question.

"Of course not! Almost being run down isn't something you can easily forget, you know."

"Yes, but like how my skin sparkled, I wanted you to forget that I saved you this afternoon. But you didn't."

Something clicked. I gasped. "So when Angela left without seeing that I was okay…"

"It wasn't because she didn't truly care about you. I made her forget seeing the whole incident." His tone was sincerely apologetic but I could feel my anger mounting. Why would he do that?

"Please don't get the wrong impression. I only did it because it would have been hard to explain how I got there so fast, more so how a highschool boy could possibly stop an out of control car by only holding out his hand." His eyes grew amused. Oh.

He shook his head. "After explaining everything to you, I still don't understand."

"What?"

"I don't understand why I felt the need to save you awhile ago. I do find you very interesting. Not only does my ability have no effect on you, I…" he sighed. "I can't explain the draw I have towards you." His eyes looked fascinated.

"Maybe it's because of my blood." I mumbled to myself.

"What? What do you mean?" Uh-oh. He wasn't supposed to hear that. My eyes widened with horror.

"It's difficult for you, isn't it? To be in such proximity with me?" I said quietly, my eyes meeting his wary ones.

"How do you know?"

"Aren't you curious on how I knew you were a vampire?"

"Of course I am. But you don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, it's okay." I took in a deep breath. "I guess it's my turn now."

**Weeeeee! Another chapter is done but there is still a long way to go.:) So please keep on reviewing. It does inspire me so.:)**


	12. Flashbacks

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

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**Chapter 12: Flashbacks  
**

I was amused by how he looked. Patrick sat, watching me intently. His eyes was full of eagerness— like a child that was just about hear a bed time story… a fairytale.

I laughed inwardly. What I was about to tell him was indeed a fairytale— my fairytale. But unlike all other fairytales, mine didn't have a happy ending. It was now just a once upon a time.

I sighed.

"You see Patrick, I came to live in Forks about a year ago. My stepfather traveled due to his work and I knew my mom missed him. So I shipped myself to live here with Charlie so that my mom could stay with him."

My eyes filled with amusement. I was sitting calmly in the living room explaining my life story to this astounding vampire sitting in front of me. I stifled a laugh.

"When I came here, I wasn't entirely miserable, but I was unhappy. I grew homesick the first five minutes I was here!" I laughed lightly. "But then when I started to go to school, the image of the life I thought I would have in Forks was shattered."

I started to tell him about the Cullen family, describing each and every one of them in all their surreal beauty. I paused when I reached Edward. Then I found the words spilling out of their own accord. I never was the one to talk but here I was, monopolizing the entire conversation.

I recounted that first Biology class I had with him, and the terror his black-eyed glare had brought on. I narrated the days I had drenched with confusion with Edward's ever changing behavior towards me.

He tensed when I reached the part about Edward saving me from my near-death experienced. And became fascinated when I told him all about the moments we had together during lunch.

"Suddenly, my life was filled with excitement. Everyday, I woke up not knowing what to expect. My life wasn't lived in a monotonous routine anymore. It was what life should really be… an adventure, a risk."

When I told him about the Port Angeles incident and the dinner after, I saw his hands clenched into fists together with his jaw. And when I told him about the day in the meadow his eyes widened with anticipation and awe.

I told him about my disastrous 18th birthday and Edward's decision to take me out of his life. His reaction when I explained the latter surprised me. A small smile formed on his lips. But it wasn't an ordinary smile. It was a smile of understanding. Like he saw through that act and understood what it meant much more than I did. I let it pass.

"When they left, my life went back to its monotony and everything that happened seemed only like a dream." I paused and looked at him. "But then you arrived. And suddenly, it wasn't a dream anymore and my life became normal again. Well, normal in my standards." I laughed.

"If this is normal to you, I couldn't dare imagine what isn't." I laughed with him. "So there was a vampire family before we came here. That explains a lot of things." His eyes were far away. I just stared at him, grasping how surreal this moment seemed.

His eyes turned back to me. "You're much more perceptive than I gave you credit for."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I playful frown formed on my lips.

"It's just amazing how a simple detail like eye-color could possibly be registered in that head of yours," He tapped my forehead lightly, sending a shiver through my body, "when people who knew them long before you did, didn't even give it a second glance." He smiled in amusement.

"That's not entirely true you know."

He threw me a questioning look.

"People always give them a second glance. And a third, and a fourth, and a fifth…" I trailed away.

Understanding dawned on his face. "I was pertaining to their eyes though, and not their faces." He said with a smug grin.

"Fine. You made your point." I sighed. "It just goes to show how much obsessed I was with them."

"I don't really think 'them' is what you're referring to." He said quietly. I narrowed my eyes. "Nor is 'obsessed' the proper sentiment."

I threw him dagger looks. "What then, may I ask, is the proper sentiment?" I said, quoting his words.

"Infatuated?"

I hung my head. "That could be acceptable." I murmured.

"Better yet, in love?" he paused. "Regardless of the fact the he was your superman disguised as a vampire." He grinned, wanting to lighten the mood. I glared at him anyway then I looked away.

He was right, of course. It wasn't obsession to what Edward was that had me so drawn to him. It was all him, regardless of what he was. It was the fact that Edward was… Edward— the perfection he seemingly embodied that I was clearly unworthy of.

Our silence was broken by the sound of the cruiser pulling in on the driveway. I stood up, hurriedly looked out the window, and saw Patrick's midnight blue Porsche in front of the house. There was no mistaking that Charlie saw it. I was so immersed in our conversation that I didn't realize night had already fallen.

"Charlie!" I started to panic. What to do, what to do?

"I wager you don't want your father to know I'm here, do you?" he smiled.

"It doesn't really matter anymore since he saw your car in front of the house."

"Stop panicking, Bella." He chuckled. "Leave it to me."

"What are you going to do?" my brow furrowed in confusion.

"Bells?" I swirled around at the sound of Charlie's voice. My heart was beating wildly as I heard him close the front door.

I turned back to Patrick with my eyes wide. He tapped his forehead and winked at me.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He gave me a crooked smile so similar to Edward's, but at the same time, different. And at the blink of an eye, he was gone.

"What's going on?" I turned to face a confused looking Charlie, standing in the hallway. Boy, have I got some explaining to do.

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**This isn't really one of my favorite chapters, but there you have it. Please read and review. It really does help me update much, much faster.**


	13. Consternating Presumptions

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.  
**

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**Chapter 13: Consternating Presumptions**

"Bells, what happened to you? Your face is so pale," Charlie said as he inspected my face, "you look like you've seen a ghost."

"It's nothing Dad." He looked unconvinced as I desperately tried to slow down my breathing. "I fell asleep… you surprised me."

"You fell asleep? On the couch?" His voice was surprised; This act was not Bella-ish. It was more likely if it had happened to him than to me.

"Yes, I was reading. I guess I might have dozed off." Luckily I had brought my book down when I came to answer the door. Charlie eyed it as it was sitting on the table.

"Don't tire yourself in studying so hard Bells." He laughed lightly. Charlie let the subject drop. "So, what's for dinner?"

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

Dinner was a quiet affair, as always. So I could have only guessed that Patrick used his convenient little gift on Charlie. The silence was only broken by Charlie's occasional small talk.

"How was your day?" he inquired while cutting his steak.

"It was uneventful, for the most part." I said off-handedly. That is if you were to cut out the almost run over incident.

"Speaking of school, how are the new kids adjusting?" he asked.

"New kids?" I felt my pulse quicken.

"Yeah. Dr. Cullent's kids."

"They're okay, I guess." I murmured, keeping my eyes on my plate. "I haven't really had the chance to meet all of them."

"You don't have classes with any of them?" I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

"One."

"Which one?" Something was going on. Charlie wasn't usually this probing with regards to such a trivial matter.

"Patrick." I kept my expression guarded.

"What does that one look like?" Okay. Something was definitely up.

"The one with the brown hair." My eyes narrowed. "What's up, dad? You usually aren't this interested with school matters."

I saw Charlie's cheeks redden slightly. "Of course I'm interested in anything that happens at your school, Bella."

"I guess." I murmured. "But you're not usually this vocal, nor this inquisitive." I added.

"Well, the Cullents are remarkably similar to Dr. Cullen's family In more ways than one." He eyed me suggestively.

I sighed. "What are you trying to say, dad?" I stood up and gathered the empty plates.

"I'm just worried that having them here in Forks might have some effect on you." I could hear the uneasiness in his voice. "Especially that classmate of yours."

I turned to face him. "What do you mean?" My heart raced.

"Well, when I first saw him I easily mistook him as…" he trailed off. His expression was wary and I knew perfectly well about what he meant. He cleared is throat. "As that Edward." Though his voice grew soft I could hear the underlying anger in it.

I felt my chest tighten and I felt my arms instinctively encircle my waist. "Oh." I couldn't find anything more to say. "It's late. I better go to sleep." I controlled myself in going out of the kitchen, not wanting to run.

"Bells…"

"'Night dad." I said a little too loudly as I went upstairs, knowing better than to hope for a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

**XOXOXOXOXOX**

"Good morning." I was greeted by a musical voice as I got down from my truck.

It was still early when I left for school. But I was afraid that Charlie's new profound interest in the Cullents would light up again.

"Hi." I smiled brightly at Patrick, unable to contain the genuine happiness I felt on seeing him.

"You're early today." He observed as we walked towards the building.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't stand Charlie interrogating me again."

He stopped at his tracks as his face grew confused. "But I cleared his memory last night. Didn't it work?" I could hear the anxiety in his voice.

"No, no, it worked." His confused expression didn't fade. "It's not about that."

"What happened?"

"I… I'd rather not tell you." I murmured guiltily.

His face was a little disappointed as he nodded and started walking again. We were almost to the front door when a realization hit me.

"Patrick?"

"Bella?" he looked at me.

"Where are your siblings?" My eyes scanned the parking lot, but I couldn't see them. "Don't they usually ride with you?"

He smiled a crooked smile. "They're not here yet. They took Lassarina's car instead."

"Why? Did you have a fight?"

"No, nothing like that. They wanted to wait for Lyra, so I went on ahead." He smiled in amusement after seeing the growing confusion my face expressed.

"Lyra just arrived yesterday evening with Vaughan." He continued. "They had some papers to fix bright and early this morning. She's going to start schooling here today."

I nodded in understanding.

"And truthfully, I can be a little impatient." He smirked.

At this point, we were already sitting inside our first period classroom, waiting for class to start. I glanced at him and saw that he had his fists rolled up again. My gaze immediately went to his eyes. It was golden butterscotch, meaning he wasn't hungry enough to behave like this. He saw me looking curiously at him and he smiled down at me.

"You're not hungry." I stated, more to myself than to him. He looked surprised.

"No, I'm not." I could see a hint of confusion in his eyes. "I just went hunting the other day."

"Then why are you acting like this?" He eyed me curiously as I gestured to himself.

He smiled slightly. "It's nothing." And he relaxed his posture slightly and shifted his attention to class as it started. But as the period progressed I could see how he grew more and more tensed, as if he was dreadfully anticipating his death sentence. He behaved the same way during social ethics and I could see his uneasiness as he said goodbye to me as we separated after class.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. The next thing I knew was that it was time for lunch and I was sitting in between Angela and Jessica at our table. My eyes traveled automatically to the Cullent's table only to see that it was still empty.

I was on the verge of concluding that they decided to cut the rest of their afternoon classes when it happened. As sharp intakes of breath issued throughout the cafeteria my eyes automatically snapped towards the door, and my jaw dropped as I finally laid eyes on what I knew to be was the last of the Cullent siblings.

Lyra was slightly taller than Lassarina. Her honey-brown hair subtly curled slightly above her waist, making her porcelain skin more prominent. Her slightly doe-eyes, surrounded by thick and long lashes, were much more golden than I thought possible. She was more than breathtaking. If you'd asked me at that moment, I couldn't possibly find words to describe her.

I was staring at her, watching her walk in billowing grace when I noticed how her pinky finger was entwined in Patrick's. Something stirred inside me but that feeling quickly subsided when I glanced at Patrick's face.

I could easily see that he was uneasy, frustrated and annoyed. I was curious to why he was so. Maybe because of all the stares that Lyra was getting from the students, most specially the male population. But if that was the reason, then that must mean that Lyra was his mate.

The feeling inside me stirred again but then I saw Patrick quickly snatch his hands from Lyra, cross his arms and look away from her direction, as they sat down. That was not mate-like behavior. Then I realized that if the expression on his face was really due to the stares that Lyra was receiving, he could have easily used his little talent to distract the students— unless Lyra didn't want him to. Maybe she wanted to bask in the attention I myself would have despised. And I remembered, Patrick didn't wait for her this morning as any mate would have done.

So maybe the action they displayed was just a show of sibling affection. But if that was so, what was the real reason on why Patrick was acting this way with so much emotion breaking through his usually calm façade?

Wait a minute! In the first place, what was I doing analyzing Patrick's every action? Why did I care so much if they were mates or not? I sighed and shook my head in the hope of clearing my mind. I stared at the apple in my hand, suddenly losing my appetite.

Jessica giggled and I looked at her questioningly. "Patrick Cullent is staring at you again." My head turned to his direction and a spark of electricity went through me as our eyes met.

He looked troubled and frustrated. I gave him what I hoped to be a comforting smile. His return smile didn't reach his eyes and I began to wonder what was troubling him again.

He saw the confusion in my eyes so he shook his head, conveying that whatever was bothering him nothing he can't handle. I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled slightly and finally looked away.

"What was that?!" Jessica asked in awe.

"What was what?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"That!" She gestured with her hand at the silent exchange Patrick and I had.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I continued to play the innocence card.

"You are so dishing out the facts to me, Bella Swan."

I sighed and looked back at the Cullent's table. Only this time, I was greeted not by Patrick, but by a glare from Lyra. As much as I wanted to look away, I couldn't.

I saw Patrick in the sidelines, his face contorted with rage as he saw the exchange happening between me and Lyra. Even though his lips barely moved, I knew he was talking to Lyra in a voice too low for human ears to hear.

Something he said made Lyra break eye contact with me and stare disbelievingly at him. But she glanced back at me with a look filled with loathing. Patrick caught my gaze and his expression softened and he smiled apologetically. I looked away.

What could I have possibly done to receive such a look of pure loathing from someone I do not even know? It reminded me of Rosalie and the first time our eyes met while I was sitting with Edward at lunch. I gasped. Could it be that they know that I was in on their secret? That I knew they were vampires? But how?

With all the questions in my head, I was sure of only one thing. And no matter how I didn't like this presumption, I knew it would become true. Because even if I exerted a lot of effort, I knew that Lyra and I would not be getting along nicely, at all.

**A/N: Ok. so I've decided I won't go update unless I get atleast 65 reviews.:) so please please please review guys. Comments and suggestions would be highly appreciated.**

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	14. Agreement

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. I enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it in return.:)**

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**Chapter 14: Agreement**

It was last period government, and Patrick was sitting beside me as rigid as a board. I tried to catch his eye throughout the first half of the class but to no avail. In the end, I guess he couldn't stand my staring anymore so he flashed me a smile— but it didn't quite reach his eyes— as a sign that he was okay.

But that was a lie. I knew— and I don't know how I did— that something was wrong with him. A few more minutes with him behaving like this and I was seriously going to spontaneously combust. I tore a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote on it with my untidy script.

**_What's going on?_**

He passed me back the paper with his elegant writing.

_What do you mean?_

**_Right now, you're as rigid as a board. And at lunch… you were acting a little weird._**

_I'm fine, Bella._

**_But Lyra was also… acting weird._**

_It's nothing you need to concern yourself with._

**_Don't tell me that crap. She glared at me for no reason. And don't pretend you didn't see it because I know you did._ **

He looked uneasy when I passed the paper back to him.

_Let's just say that Lyra was feeling a bit insecure… and threatened._

**_What? Why?_**

He sighed.

_I told you, it's nothing. Why do you even care so much?_

I hesitated. Why did I care so much? What was it to me if he was acting this way? I sidestepped the question that I knew was full of implications and wrote the most obvious reason— which I almost failed to see.

**_Because it seems that I'm somehow involved._**

_Later. If I remember correctly, we're supposed to be listening attentively to the teacher, or at least appearing to be, and not passing notes so conspicuously._

He smiled a crooked smile as I read what he wrote. I smiled smugly as I passed the paper back to him.

_**It doesn't even matter. You can always use your little talent if we get caught.**_

His smile grew.

_It's not wise to take advantage of having such power. And besides, why would I?_

**_Because you don't want us to get into trouble._**

_I suppose._

**_Do you promise to tell me later? Everything?_**

_Whatever you say._

**_Promise me first._**

He let out an exasperated breath.

_Fine._

**_Fine. Later, then._**

The remainder of the period went on sluggishly. I found myself tapping my fingers on my desk as I waited for the period to end, not even bothering to listen anymore. Patrick watched me in amusement. When the bell finally rang, Patrick stood up and waited for me as I collected my things.

"Now's later, right?" I looked up at him expectantly as we left the classroom and headed for the parking lot.

He glanced at me, "Yes, I suppose."

I waited. But of course, being the curious me, I got impatient… fast. "What's going on?" I stopped at my tracks to face him. His eyes were weary as he looked at me.

"You promised." I reminded him.

He grasped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. I found this act too familiar so I waited for the hole inside me to open again, or at least threaten to. But nothing happened.

"I did." I was distracted as he looked at the ground. "I just don't know where to begin."

"How about you start with what happened at lunch?"

He started walking again at a slow pace, slow for even humans. I followed him.

"Like I said, Lyra was just feeling a bit insecure."

"And threatened." I added quietly. He glanced at me, eyeing my expression— which I kept as neutral as possible.

"Yes, that." He answered in an equally quiet voice.

"But why?"

"Lyra is very… insightful. She sees things much, much more perceptively than others." He paused, gathering his thoughts. "She saw that I was acting differently around her."

"How so?"

"She said I was not as ignorant with her actions as before. So she asked if I'd forgotten our… agreement." He eyes me wearily.

I wasn't able to contain myself. The adrenaline of knowing more about Patrick was uncontainable. "Which was?"

His eyes showed his growing discomfort but he answered, nevertheless. "Sometime after Vaughan changed me, Lyra confessed that she felt very… drawn to me. Much more than a sister should be." He said this all very fast and I was barely able to keep up.

The unidentifiable feeling appeared again and I resisted the growing urge to look at Patrick, "Is she your mate?"

"No, of course not. I explicitly explained that I saw her as a sister, and nothing more."

I breathed out. I didn't even know that I was holding my breath.

"But Lyra was very persistent." He was struggling with his words. "She continued to express her affection towards me, through simple gestures. I nonchalantly allowed her to do so— holding my hand while walking, sometimes embracing me when she wanted to, or kissing my cheek when I least expected her to." That explained their pinkies at lunch, but it still didn't explain the way he acted… or why Lyra glared at me. His eyes were lost in memory as I looked at him. "But I clearly stated that I would be returning none of it— at least none that would go over the border of a brother-sister relationship. I didn't see anything wrong with it as long as it was clear that I didn't return her same level of affection. I never allowed her to kiss me for example. And I mean, really kiss me. She agreed. She even said that she would let me go when I found someone that I wanted and that someone wanted me back."

We were already at my truck at this point. I was still a little confused though. "But why did she glare at me?"

He sighed. "I didn't want her to carry on with her displays of affection, specially in the cafeteria, as it would bring about confusion. With that simple action of me not approving her actions towards me anymore, she got a gist of the truth." He paused with a curious look in his eyes. "She didn't expect that I would find someone I wanted so soon—well, it was soon for her. " This brought on a whole new level of confusion for me.

"But why glare at _me_? It's not as if I was the one you wanted." The words were already out of my mouth when I realized that I answered my own question. Understanding dawned on me and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I blushed furiously.

Patrick laughed musically. "I like you more than I should, Bella." He said solemnly. He raised his hand hesitantly and brushed my hair over my shoulders. "I think I'm i—"

I cut him off, afraid of what he was about to say. "But that still doesn't explain why you acted that way at lunch and in class." I asked quietly, the blush on my cheeks still not going away, now accompanied with the frantic beating of my heart brought on with his touch.

He must have heard the racing of my heartbeat because he chuckled. But his face grew grave in an instant when he spoke. "Lyra feels threatened by you. I was anxious the whole day because I knew she would figure out how I felt… about you. And I didn't know what to expect from her."

I couldn't meet his gaze anymore when he said this. Lyra felt threatened by me! It was supposed to be the other way around, shouldn't it? Crazy. I thought. This whole thing was crazy. It was like Rosalie all over again. I laughed inwardly at the thought. I was broken from my reverie when Patrick started to talk again.

"I needed to be on guard. I didn't know how she would react to you and if she felt too threatened she might have… done something to you and I couldn't let that happen." My eyes grew wide when he said this. I felt his hands cup my cheeks in an attempt to comfort me. It worked. "You don't need to worry Bella. You're safe from her. That, I can assure you."

"I'll take your word for it." I smiled at him. I took his hands from my face at held it in mine. "Thank you for telling me all this Patrick."

"I can't keep anything from you. At least not now, when you deserve to know." He squeezed my hands as he said it, confirming his sincerity.

I looked around and saw that most of the cars were already gone. "I'd better go. Let's not push Lyra any further than needed." I looked at out entwined hands as I said the latter.

"You're right I suppose." With a fleeting glance at our hands, he let go. "I'll see you to tomorrow." He said as he slightly ruffled my hair playfully.

"Hey!" I laughed at his endearing gesture.

"Or maybe later." He said over his shoulder as he walked toward his shiny Porsche.

I fixed my hair after I got inside my truck. Everything was clear now, I thought, as I started the engine. I know they're not mates. I know why he acted as he did. What could be more clearer than that? But then a thought rose up in my head as I drove away from the school. _"I like you more than I should, Bella. I think I'm i—" _

His voice kept repeating itself in my head. I knew what he was about to say and I had stopped him. But the question was, why? I feared those words— that's why. Why though? Was I afraid of getting my heart broken again when it hasn't even completely healed yet? Yes, Immensely so. I was afraid.

I was afraid that I felt same way as he did and I didn't want to accept it yet. But I knew that I needed to. If I didn't, I would just be tangled up in a convoluted situation and it would be harder to find a solution if I continued to deny what I really felt. I needed to stop being so afraid. I needed to accept the truth.

I was falling in love with Patrick Cullent.

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**A/N: I'll be shifting POV's to the Cullen family in the next chapter. But before that, I've decided that I will update after I get at least 80 reviews from you guys.:)So if you want to read more, you know what to do. Click that button on the left and review.:)**


	15. Sheer Resolve

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: This chapter is purely Alice's POV. I do love writing her.:)**

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**Chapter 15: Sheer Resolve**

Edward… wasn't Edward. He was worse than before he found Bella. He arrived here a few hours ago and from looking into his dark eyes, I knew he hadn't hunted for so long.

I entered the guest room he and Jasper shared. "Edward, I think you need to go hunting." I said with concern.

He just sat there with his head slightly tilted, staring outside the window, as if he didn't even hear me. I kneeled down and studied his face. It was empty. I was growing anxious.

"Edward!" I shook him, trying to get his attention. He swayed in my arms like a limp doll his eyes finally resting on mine.

I gasped and my grasp tightened on his shoulders as I saw right into his eyes. What I saw there or better yet, what I didn't see, frightened the hell out of me.

It would have been better to see the insurmountable pain I knew he was in. It would have been better to see his anger and conflict. Anything would have been better than this! To see absolutely nothing in his eyes was horrifying, heart-shattering. I was just staring into an endless void of nothingness. I was looking into an endless pool of inescapable blackness that sent an involuntary shiver through me. I could see and feel the walls he set up around him, pushing me away, not wanting anyone to see how broken he really was. But to me, seeing him this way was enough to see that my brother was lost and dying, if not already dead.

"What are you doing to yourself, Edward?" I spoke softly. I held on to him tightly. I felt as if I let go, I would loose him completely and never get my brother back.

At that moment, I knew what had to be done. I don't care about what he would do, I don't care how angry he would be when he finds out. No matter what he might have said in the past, what we were doing was wrong.

I now knew that the moment we left Forks, we left Edward. And now, I needed to go find him. I needed to go back and find the person who was unconsciously holding Edward's life, his existence. I didn't need to look into the future to know that what I was doing was what was needed.

Edward needed this. He needed to live again. He needed to break through the emptiness that was conquering him. He needed Bella. But what I was afraid of was if Bella still needed him.

XOXOXOXOXOX

"Alice, I'm not sure if that would be the wisest thing to do." Carlisle's eyes were weary when he spoke to me.

"If we keep on avoiding the fact that Edward's condition is nothing but peaky, I don't know what I'll do!" I was on a rampage. Why were they so against this when they knew as well as I do that this is exactly what Edward needs. "I just don't want to lose my brother, Carlisle." I added softly.

His face was grave. "I'm afraid that we already lost him the minute we left Forks."

"But that doesn't mean that we can just sit around and pretend that everything is fine when it is exactly the complete opposite." I jumped at Jasper's voice. I didn't even hear him coming in.

"I know better than anyone what Edward is feeling Carlisle. I couldn't stand it when we left Forks. I thought I was going to go insane with all the pain he was giving off." Jasper reached for my hand as he continued. "But since he came back here, I don't feel anything from him anymore. Completely nothing. It's like being beside a statue. It's frightening, Carlisle."

"Carlisle, we need to something. And I can't think of any other way than this." I frowned at him, willing him to see that I needed to do this.

"I understand, Alice. But we can't do anything as rash as this without looking into the consequences." Carlisle said this in a very calm manner and it only angered me further.

"What else is there to think about?! I've already lost my sister, I've already lost Bella! I don't want to lose Edward too!" Jasper was holding me in his arms, trying his best to send calming waves through me, but the despair I was feeling was too great. I still couldn't forget the emptiness I saw in Edward's eyes. "You didn't see what I saw, Carlisle. It's like Edward died." I shuddered in memory.

"Carlisle, please, just let her do this."

Carlisle sighed in defeat. "I want you to look in Bella's future first, Alice."

This request completely threw me off. I was confused. "I can't. I promised Edward."

A grim smile appeared on his lips. "Exactly. And _we _promised Edward that we would leave Bella and pretend nothing ever happened."

"But those two cases are completely different!" I countered.

"How so?"

"I can't break a promise I made to Edward." I murmured.

"And we feel the same way." He smiled gently at me.

My shoulders slumped in defeat. I understood how Carlisle felt. Edward only asks so little of us, so rarely. The least we could do was give in to him. But what he asked from us now was completely insane.

"Do you see know, Alice?" Carlisle continued to smile gently at me, "But if you're really set in doing this, the least you could do for my peace of mind is to look into the consequences of going back, if there may be any."

I nodded in understanding. I'm sorry Edward, I thought. I need to break my promise. I don't want our family to lose you and I don't want you to lose Bella. Bella. I painted her face in my mind as Jasper let go of me and in an instant I went still, going in that all too familiar trance and being absorbed into what I knew was the future.

The images in my mind started to appear. I saw what it would be like if none of us returned. The images went on and my breathing got heavier. I snapped out of my trance abruptly. I couldn't stand seeing those things anymore. Jasper sent a wave of calm through me and I felt myself relax in an instant.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle's voice was full of concern.

I started to panic again. "We need to go back. It doesn't matter if all of us do and I don't care if I have to go there alone. I just can't let that future happen." I looked into their worried faces, more determined to go back than ever.

I can't let that future happen. I kept telling myself. I won't.

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**A/N: Ooooh. I wonder what Alice saw.:) muwahaha. This chapter is a tad wee short, but it's exactly what I wanted it to be. So, no updates until I get a minimum total of 90 reviews. They do cheer me up. Specially when some of the ideas are so close to what's going to turn up and I'm just aching to tell the people who wrote them "You're absolutely brilliant!" Lol.**

**Oh and I'm thinking of writing a new fic starring Edward Masen and Bella Cullen. Edward's human and Bella's the vampire. Basically Edward moved in to his uncle Charlie's house after the his parents died in a terrible boat accident. The Cullens are the school's royalty and they're behavior towards the student body are the exact opposite of the Cullens in the Twilight series. It 's really more interesting than it sounds and I've already got the plot flowing so tell me if you want me to start writing the story. It just keeps popping in my mind.:D**


	16. A Vile Echo

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer.**

**A/N: I really enjoyed writing this chapter. And it is the longest one, by far. I hope you enjoy reading it in return.:)**

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**Chapter 16: A Vile Echo**

I didn't feel like going back home anytime soon yet. I just kept on driving with no sense of direction. My mind was flying with a thousand different thoughts.

I was falling in love with him. No. That wasn't right. I wasn't falling in love with Patrick… I was falling for the uncanny attributes and behaviors he had that painstakingly reminded me of Edward. Attributes and behaviors, I reminded myself, that I was already in love with. So theoretically, I was in love with Edward, not Patrick. But since he possessed the same things I loved about Edward, I loved him too. Ugh. This was making my head hurt a lot.

I was using him. I thought, in shocking comprehension, as I got out of my truck and followed a trail heading deeper into the woods. I wanted someone to fill the gap that had formed when Edward left and there he was, ready made, tricking my mind into believing that Edward never left me.

I shook my head. No matter how I looked into it, he wasn't Edward. And he would never be able to completely fill the hole that Edward left in my heart.

Patrick repaired the damage, yes. He stitched me up, put me back together and he was now holding me up, supporting my fragility and I was very grateful for that. I just never expected to develop such strong feelings towards him in the small amount of time he'd been here.

I stopped in my tracks and took in my surroundings. It was getting dark and the sun was about to set. The path had led me into a small clearing. The leaves from the trees rustled as the wind came in, fanning my hair over my shoulders. I brought my arms around me as I shivered slightly.

I sighed. I better get back, I thought. But as I turned around, my body stiffened and froze as I sensed someone's eyes on my back. My head slowly turned and I gasped as I saw a figure emerging from the trees.

"Laurent?" My eyes widened.

He stopped in his tracks, clearly distracted. His raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Bella?" He smiled at me as he took in my appearance. I grew more uncomfortable in his gaze. "So it is you." His smile grew wider.

I stirred. Something was off with him. But his appearance hadn't changed since the last time we met. I wondered what was bothering me so much. "So, what brings you to this part of the woods? I thought you stayed with Tanya's coven." I remembered that little detail as I attempted small talk.

"Yes. Yes, I do stay with them, occasionally." He continued to smile. "It's a surprise to see you alone. I thought that family took you wherever they went. You're like a pet to them, aren't you?"

I was sure that 'that family' he meant was the Cullens. I frowned at his demeaning choice of words to describe my then relationship with them.

He laughed lightly, but it sent a shiver through my spine. It sounded so sinister. "I'm sorry. I believe you're Edward's mate, to be more appropriate." My heart raced as it took note of his wrong usage of the present tense, but I stayed silent. Something, the logical side of my brain, was telling me to keep on the charade.

"So, where are they?" He eyed me in growing impatience. "I stopped by their house and they weren't there."

Lie. A voice in my mind said. I knew I had to follow that voice. I couldn't tell this vampire the truth. For the moment I told him, I knew that I would be in greater danger than I was already in now.

I swallowed, finding my voice, "They all went to a hunting trip yesterday. But Edward should be coming home by now." I lied more convincingly than I thought I was capable of.

"I see." He was speculative as he said this.

"It was nice to see you again, Laurent. But it's getting dark and I don't want to get lost in the woods finding my way back. You know how Edward is." I tried to laugh lightly as said this. I turned around and started to walk stiffly.

"Of course." He said. Then with a blink of an eye, he was in front of me, less than 10 feet away. "But I can't let you do that." I held his gaze, finally identifying the thing that bothered me the most with his reappearance. His eyes. They were still a deep, crimson red.

He took a step forward. "Actually I came here to look for you. Victoria' request." He was shaking his head as he started to talk again. "You've really angered her you know. She wants your death… And she wants it to be as slow and as painful as possible. " There was a hint of something in his eyes as he said this. Could it be pity? Remorse?

I needed to bid for more time. I mustered all the will I had to speak. "Why?"

He smiled a sad smile. "Your Edward killed James, Bella. Victoria only sees it fit. Mate for a mate."

I was sure I was about to hyperventilate with fear.

"She wanted to do you in herself. But it looks like I can't resist the urge to do it for her." He barred his teeth as he took another small step forward. "She will be pretty mad at me but you did caught me in the middle of my hunting… and I should say, you are simply appetizing." A low growl was issuing from his chest.

I needed to think of something to stall him. But it wouldn't make any difference, I thought. No one knew I was here. No one could save me. "Please." I begged in a small voice. My feet were grounded and no matter how much I urged my body to move, it was too frozen in fear.

"Now, Bella. You should be thankful I was the one who found you. I'll make it quick, I promise. It might not even be painful." He smiled, exposing his teeth as he crouched, preparing to lunge.

I closed my eyes. Preparing myself for the pain. Edward. I thought to myself, picturing his face in my mind, with all his bronze haired beauty and perfection, for what it seemed to be the last time. I love you, Edward.

I could swear I heard a growl somewhere as I waited for the impact of Laurent's body on mine, to feel his teeth pierce the delicate skin on my neck. But what greeted me was not the impact of my body falling to the ground due to his body crashing into mine.

I opened my eyes in surprise as I heard the sound of two huge boulders colliding with each other. A massive growl issuing from one of them. My heart skipped a beat as I saw who it was. Tears started to form in my eyes.

He got up and was beside me in a heartbeat. He did not relax his stance. He crouched defensively, creating a wall of protection between me and Laurent.

"Stay away from her." He said in low, dangerous voice full of hatred as Laurent stood up and looked back at us.

"Edward." Laurent said in a voice just as low but cautious. "Nice to see you again."

I gasped and looked at my savior. His expression faltered a little but he quickly regained composure. I could feel that my eyes were as round as saucers. His eyes flickered to mine.

"I'm afraid to say I can't say the same to you." His voice was full of venom as he said this, going along with Laurent's misconception. Why was Patrick pretending to be Edward?

Laurent took another step forward but quickly backed away as Patrick growled menacingly, threatening Laurent to not get any closer than he was.

Laurent raised his hands, in a gesture of defeat. "Whoa. Relax, Edward. I won't do anything to Bella." He bowed his head. "I think it's time I leave."

"My thoughts, exactly." Patrick growled as he went nearer Laurent. "And I think you need to do it permanently." He lunged for Laurent, taking his head under his arm.

He looked on Patrick's face closely, as he tried to break Patrick's grasp. Laurent gasped in shock, finally comprehending. "You're not Edward."

"Oh really?" Patrick's grip tightened around Laurent.

"Stop! You don't need to do this!" Laurent was compromising breathlessly. "We could share the girl."

Horror washed through me as Patrick released Laurent and put his hands on his shoulders. Laurent looked victorious, as he eyed me greedily.

No. I said to myself. Patrick won't… he would never… he wouldn't dare.

I felt hopeless as Patrick's head turned toward me; his face was expressionless. He looked into my eyes with his full of remorse. My breath hitched. Patrick was giving in. But then anger welled up in his eyes and a growl so menacing erupted from his chest, that I had goosebumps. I was terrified.

He turned back to face Laurent. "I will never hurt her!" he growled as he sent him flying into a big tree, uprooting the trunk in the process.

"Don't look, Bella." Patrick instructed me. I didn't need telling twice.

I looked towards the ground, but I never dared to close my eyes. I could hear their growls and the sickening crunches as pieces from Laurent's body were torn away.

When I could finally smell the fire burning, I looked up. Patrick was facing me with a weary expression, standing over what used to be Laurent's body.

The tears building up in my eyes spilled over and I didn't even think of what I was doing. I ran to Patrick, holding on to him for dear life. I sobbed uncontrollably into his chest as he hesitantly put his arms around me, ensuring my security.

I don't know how long we stood there, him supporting me as I bawled my eyes out.

"Let's get you home." He said quietly.

I did not oppose as he scooped me up and told me to hang on. I did not want to leave the protection and comfort his arms brought. He started to run through the dense trees of the forest, finally stopping when we got to my truck.

He opened the passenger door and helped me inside. He was in the driver's seat before I knew it, starting the engine. I had left the keys in the ignition.

His concerned gaze never left me as we rode silently. He broke the still quietness.

"How are you feeling?" I looked at him; his eyes were full of worry.

"Confused. Relieved. Grateful for the most part." I answered him with a raspy voice.

He still had that look in his eyes. "You're not afraid?"

"Should I be?"

He chuckled, looking slightly relieved. "You are incredible."

We fell into silence for a while. Then Patrick faced me again. "You said you were confused. May I ask why?"

I looked at him for a minute, and then I sighed. "I give up."

He sent me questioning gaze. "What do you mean?"

"How did you find me?"

He shrugged. "I was going to go hunting."

I nodded, not removing my gaze from his face.

"Is that all you were confused about?" he smiled that crooked smile.

I hesitated. "No, actually." I paused. "I also wondered…"

"Yes?"

"Why did you do it?"

He gave me an incredulous look. "You're questioning the reason as to why I saved your life?"

"No! No, of course not. I know that already."

"Do you?"

It would be the right thing to do, naturally. "I think so." I frowned.

"Well if it's anything, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost you that way." I looked away from his gaze.

"You do know how I feel about you, don't you Bella?"

I looked up at him. His eyes, now darker than butterscotch, were smoldering. My incapacity to form a coherent sentence under that gaze overpowered me again.

"I love you Bella." I couldn't bring myself to look away.

"I know." I said quietly.

I wanted to answer him back, but with the epiphany I had earlier, I just couldn't. I loved Edward. I knew I also had feelings for Patrick but I knew they would never be strong enough to overpower what I felt towards Edward. I mentally hit myself for not being able to give an acceptable answer to his declaration. He smiled faintly at me, understanding in his eyes.

"So, if it wasn't about the reason on why I saved your life, then what were you so confused about?"

His question brought me back to reality. I looked outside. We were already in front of my house. Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway, but I felt no pressure to go down yet.

"I was wondering why…" I hesitated. He waited for the rest of my question patiently. "Why you allowed Laurent to call you…" I trailed off again.

"Ah." Understanding dawned on his eyes. His eyes flickered to mine. "I thought that pretending to be Edward at that time would keep you safer."

My heart audibly thumped at his mention of the name Edward. He undoubtedly heard it. What he did was obviously the most logical thing to do. I sighed at my inability to see that. I felt like my IQ was dropping every minute I spent with this guy… Nah. It's not possible. I laughed inwardly at the stupidity of this thought.

"I think you'd better get in now."

I was surprised to see him already outside the passenger door and giving me the key to my truck. He walked me to the front door and I faced him before I got in. His fingertips brushed my lips and it slightly opened at his touch. He bent down and kissed my cheek. The feel of his cold lips on my unbearably warm skin was unnerving, but at the same time undeniably pleasant.

He smiled as he looked at me again, but I could see the sadness in his eyes as he spoke. "I'll see you tomorrow." And in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

I went inside knowing that I would not be sleeping comfortably tonight, at all.

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**A/N: ****Ooooh. Things are getting spicy! More Cullens to come in the next chapter, folks.:)**

**Next chapter will be posted after I get a minimum total of 105 reviews. If you love me and this story, click on the button right there on the bottom left and review!:p**


	17. Selfeffacing Honesty

**A/N: I'm sorry for not posting this earlier. I'm having a major writer's block.:( And aside from that, I'm having conflicts on the topic of how I can put in Alice's arrival. I know how I want to bring her back and how I want her to show up, I just can't seem to put it into words.**

**So, this chapter may not be the best, but it is essential for Patrick and Bella's growing relationship. Next chapter should be better.:) I promise.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. But I do own the Cullents and I love that.XD**

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**Chapter 17: Self-effacing Honesty**

I woke up pretty early the next morning, not really getting enough sleep. I kept tossing and turning all night, shifting through dream after dream. They seemed pretty real to me at the time, but then I remembered seeing a talking dog and a dancing tree, so I concluded that they really were just the workshifts of my mind.

It was warmer than usual but not warm enough to go out without a windbreaker. I wore a dark blue v-necked sweater on top of my white collared shirt and let it rest on top of my hips and over my jeans.

I ate my breakfast slower than I usually did, savoring the taste in my mouth. It was a Friday, and I was in no hurry to get to school. I took a lot of time pondering over yesterday's event. I felt utterly grateful towards Patrick for saving my life… again. But I couldn't help but feel uneasy whenever I remember Laurent mistaking him as Edward. It was dark, I told myself. Totally understandable. Even in the light, it was hard to not mistake him for Edward— the only difference they had was the hair color… and height.

I was too preoccupied when I opened the door and I collided with something hard. I staggered backward and I found myself being scooped up to my feet. Once I finally snapped out of my mystified state, I was surprised to see the person standing in front of me wearing a very amused expression.

"Patrick?"

"Good morning Bella." He greeted me, flashing his brilliant smile.

"Good morning."

He brought his eyes in level with mine. I was going to get lost in those eyes… and his smell— it was driving me insane!

"Were you still asleep when opened the door?" he said, sending his intoxicatingly sweet breath full blast to my face. He was frowning but his eyes were filled with growing amusement.

I shook my head and held my breath in an attempt to focus. "Oh yeah," my voice was a little rough for my own good, "It's my hobby to open the door for random people while sleeping. Definitely."

"Well, it's comforting to know you view me as 'random people'." He said, sarcastically, as he straightened up.

I laughed and pretty soon, he was laughing too. I continued to laugh lightly as I locked the door to the house.

"Why are you here?" I asked, smiling, as I turned to him.

"I was hoping you could ride to school with me today." He smiled.

I sighed. "Patrick, if you're worried that Laurent will come back from the dead, he won't. You took good care of him."

He looked confused for a moment, and then he frowned in comprehension. "Your reason's completely off."

"What? Then why…"

"If you don't want to, it's fine." Even though he smiled as he said this, I could see a twinge of hurt and rejection in his eyes. "I'd understand."

"No." I said, a little to abruptly if you ask me, "It's fine." I felt my face heat up in an instant. He chuckled as he led the way to his shiny Porsche.

He was silent as we drove off. I stared at his impossibly flawless face. He looked like he was thinking something through.

"Bella," he started, hesitantly, "can you promise me something?"

"That depends on what you want."

He looked at me with a calculating expression. "Answer all my questions honestly from now on, without any regard for my feelings at all."

I frowned at him. "I always tell you the truth."

"Promise me."

I sighed. I was going to regret this. "As long as you do."

"Thank you." He smiled at me and cut off the engine.

I was surprised when I looked around— we were already at school. It was still much too early. The parking lot was completely deserted. We decide to stay inside his car first and pass the time by.

"How did you know that vampire from yesterday?" he asked in an innocently curious voice. I broke off with a slightly long-winded explanation about the baseball game, the arrival of new vampires and the hunt afterwards. He stiffened when I told him the latter but he simply nodded as I ended my story.

We were quiet again and I was growing slightly restless. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes and I saw that he was staring at me intently.

"What was Edward like?"

My head snapped towards him and my eyes grew a little wide. "I'd rather not talk about him." I said, in a quiet voice.

He frowned as he continued to look at me. "You promised." He pointed out.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat. Of course I did. I turned to face him again, with weary eyes. "Why?" I countered.

He shrugged. "I'm curious."

"He was…" I trailed off, trying to find the right words. "He was a lot like you, actually." My voice grew quieter by the second. I was looking at him, gauging his reaction. His face gave nothing away.

"How so?"

"Well," I was growing uncomfortable. I didn't like having this conversation with anyone, especially not with him. "You sound alike. You talk alike. You look extremely alike. Around me, you act the same way." Hence, you make me feel the same way. I repressed that thought.

He was thoughtful. "We look alike…"

"Yeah… Your hair is the only thing that's different."

"In what way?"

"Well, his was reddish brown… sort of bronze. Yours is darker, I guess… but it becomes lighter in the sunlight."

His gaze was far away and we were silent for a few seconds. He smirked at me. "And how do I act around you?"

I glanced at him. How the hell was I supposed to explain these things to him? "Cautious? Careful? Hesitant? Protective. You make me feel safe, ironically."

He chuckled darkly. He stared at me with his smoldering eyes. "You still love him." It wasn't a question so I didn't feel the need to answer.

"And it pains you that he left and you're no longer able to be with him." This was again, an assumption.

"Are you sure you can't read minds?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yes, I'm sure." He smiled faintly. "You'll be the first one to know if I can, though."

We were quiet again. Then humor began to fill his eyes. "Would it be easier for you if I dye my hair the same color as his?" He laughed lightly.

I laughed with him. "I appreciate the thought, but you don't have to do that."

We were still shaking with laughter as we went down from his car. The lot was partially filled already. We walked slowly towards class. I glanced at him. His gaze was far off again and he seemed deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" I asked, after a few moments.

He glanced at me. "I'm... reasoning with myself…"

"About what?" I pressed on.

"Well…" he broke off. The words flowed from his lips so fast— I almost couldn't keep up. "You said Edward and I were extremely alike, so I wondered why you don't feel the same way for me as you did for him."

My cheeks flushed. "What makes you say that?" I blurted out thoughtlessly.

He looked at me, stunned and speechless. But as we reached the front of the room, he finally regained his voice. "Why, am I wrong?" his curiosity burned with each word.

I pondered over what he said as I sat down beside him. Patrick has been telling me the truth about himself, more importantly, about his feelings for me. Why was I having a difficult time in doing the same? I decided, then. Throughout Spanish, I debated with myself and as it was about to end, I drew a deep breath for what I was about to do. The bell rang but I didn't move. I faced Patrick, my eyes full of determination, meeting his gaze as he was waiting for me to stand up.

"You're wrong." I said in a quiet, but strong voice.

I stood up and headed for social ethics, leaving a stunned vampire in my wake.

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**A/N: No updates till I get a minimum total of 125 reviews. So if you love me and/or my story, press the button on the lower left and review. XD**

**Lastly, I put up a poll concerning this story. Please vote accordingly as it would have a major effect on the outcome of this story.:) Thank you very much.**


	18. Fictitious Jaunt

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight series or any of its characters (even though I wish I do). They all belong to the brilliant mind of Stephenie Meyer. But I do own Patrick (my own personal Edward.XD) and the Cullents. Yay for me! XD**

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**Chapter 18: Fictitious Jaunt**

"What are you talking about?"

It was social ethics and the teacher was absent, leaving us with an hour of having absolutely nothing to do. I was sitting in my chair, beside an unnervingly quiet Patrick when Mike came bounding up to me. He was clearly nervous as he started to talk to me and I found out only a few moments ago on the reason as to why he was so. He asked me to the dance tomorrow; only, I didn't know such a dance existed.

"It's not really a dance…" he trailed off. "More like a party. You know, for Christmas."

Of course. It's December. A few weeks to go before that all-awaited holiday. I liked Christmas, except for the fact that it would snow. And I hated snow. Oh, and the very much unneeded expensive presents. And now, I was given another reason to dislike the holiday. The dance. Or party. Who cares? I needed to get out of this one, quick.

"I'm sorry Mike, I can't." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Patrick's head turn to my direction. He was listening, obviously.

"Did you already say yes to someone?" I saw his eyes flash to Patrick.

"No, no. I'm not going to the dance."

"Again? How come?" I stiffened slightly. So, he still hasn't forgotten about the very first time he asked me to a dance, did he? Darn it. I was planning to use the same reason.

"Bella has other plans, Mike." We looked at Patrick as he said this in his calm, velvet voice. "Isn't that reason enough?" He smiled his crooked smile, but his eyes were cold and distant as he looked at Mike.

Mike was speechless. I stifled a laugh at his expression— it was priceless. He stammered as he regained composure. "Y… yes. Of… of course it is." He looked back at me and gave me a small smile. "Guess I'll see you later Bella."

As he walked away, I heard a low growl from my right. Patrick was rigid and his eyes were becoming darker. I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked at me, instantly relaxing at my touch. His eyes became noticeably lighter.

"What is it?"

"Newton is getting on my nerves." He said with a slight growl.

"Drop it." I put my hand down from his shoulder, but he took it and entwined our fingers together. I felt a jumping sensation in my stomach. "He's been like that ever since."

"Exactly." He said in a lighter tone, playing with my fingers. "Can't he take a hint?"

"He _is _kind of slow." I said thoughtfully.

I laughed lightly and continued. "So…"

He looked at me, waiting.

"What are my 'other plans'?"

"You don't have any?" He said, slightly startled.

I shifted in my seat rather guiltily. "Not really."

"Then why aren't you going?"

"I have my reasons." I said darkly.

He chuckled. "You never cease to amaze me." I felt my cheeks flush. "Most girls love these sort of things."

"Yeah, well, I'm not like 'most girls'." They don't have balance problems, now do they?

"I know." He smiled, showing his brilliant teeth in the process. "You're much more interesting… in a good way of course." He added the latter, afraid that he might insult me.

I laughed again. I was finding myself doing that quite a lot today.

Patrick stood up as the bell rang, waiting to walk me to my next class. He helped me carry my books as we walked down the corridor, earning me a few envious looks from the people passing us.

"I'm curious now though…" he looked at me thoughtfully. "If I'd asked you, would you say yes?"

I looked at him, a blush creeping slowly towards my cheeks. Darn that stupid blush. "I guess." I paused. "But I would have cancelled, anyway."

He chuckled lightly. "You really don't like to dance, do you?"

"I'm okay with dancing." I sighed. "It's me tripping over the air part that I don't like." I muttered.

He chuckled. "I see." He leaned against the doorframe thoughtfully— now more like a Greek god than ever— as he handed me back my books. We were already outside my classroom. He smiled and playfully tousled my hair.

"Hey!" I reached up and tousled his hair too. But it didn't really do any difference. His hair was always in a casual disarray, not that it looked messy. It was quite the opposite, in fact. He looked a little surprised but he smiled at me.

He laughed lightly as he walked away. "I'll save you a seat at lunch." He said over his shoulder, earning me a few stares from passers-by.

I went inside the room quickly and sat down on my chair. I took out my notebook and started doodling aimlessly to pass the time.

"Bella!" I looked up and saw Jessica rushing towards me. "Tell me. Everything." She said in a business-like tone as she sat down beside me.

I sighed. "What do you want to know?"

She fired on a barrage of questions at that instant. I slumped slightly down on my seat. This was going to be a long, gruesome, one-hour.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"So," Patrick started. It was lunchtime and we were sitting at a table slightly far from his family's— alone. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"I don't know." I paused. "I was thinking of tidying up my room, then going to Seattle to find a decent bookstore." God knows how long I've been planning to do that. Tomorrow suddenly seemed like the perfect time.

He leaned slightly towards me, crossing his arms on the table. He frowned slightly. "Is that really necessary?"

"Well, do you have anything else in mind?"

"What do you say to going to a houseful of vampires?" He smiled his crooked smile at me, his eyes smoldering again. I was still hesitant, my eyes flashed to his family's table. They were immersed in their own conversation. My eyes rested on a curl of honey-brown hair. Patrick followed my gaze.

"If you're worried about Lyra, I promise she'll be on her best behavior." He smiled. As if recalling an inside joke.

I examined the table in front of me, head down and mumbled. "I wasn't thinking about her."

He raised his eyebrows as if to say 'yeah, right'. I smiled at him. "Fine. I'll go."

He smiled at me. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning. Just call me when you're ready."

I was about to nod when I saw his sister waltzing towards our table. He turned his head slightly to see what kept me pre-occupied.

"Lassarina." He nodded his head slightly and smiled up at her.

She frowned at him. "Patrick, I hate it when you call me that."

His smile widened. "Bella, Lassarina. Lassarina, Bella." He gestured with his hands accordingly.

Lassarina was still frowning as Patrick introduced us, but she faced me and smiled her own glorious smile. The heavens would be singing right about now.

"Hello Bella."

"Hi." I said timidly. Then she did something that almost scared the wits out of me. She leaned down and kissed my cheek. Patrick tensed. I let out the breath that I didn't even know I was holding.

Lassarina laughed lightly. The sound was so soothing to my ears. "You don't need to be frightened." She smiled kindly as I blinked up in surprise, glancing at Patrick. He was less tense now. "Patrick's right, " she added thoughtfully, "you smell so nice. Floral… Freesia, I think."

"Umm… Thank you." I said in a questioning tone. She laughed again. She might have found me highly amusing.

Patrick sighed. "What brings you here, Ina?"

"The bell's about to ring. We need to get to class."

Sure enough, the bell rang a few moments after she said so. I looked at Patrick with a curious expression.

"Later," he said, answering my unvocalized question. "We're going to be late."

"It was nice meeting you Bella." Lassarina said, her voice filled with sincerity, smiling. I smiled in return. She walked towards the door.

Patrick turned towards me. I was expecting him to tousle my hair, again. But he did something unexpected. He reached for my hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed it gently and set it back down. Then he turned around and left for class.

Well, that was interesting, I thought as I walked to my own class touching the place his lips met my skin. I marveled on how hard his lips were, but amazingly light and careful. My fingers still rested on the same spot as I walked in the door to my Calculus class.

I stroked the back of my left hand gently. It was still cold.

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**A/N: I know it's slightly short again, but I had to end it there. You might be waiting for Alice too, but don't worry. She's coming soon enough— her flight got delayed. ;) lol.**

**Next update after a minimum total of 145 reviews. And please please please vote on the poll I posted for this story. It's quite essential. You can find it in my profile, people.:)**


	19. Abysmal Propositions

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Patrick and the Cullents.**

**A/N: I just want to say that this chapter contains unobtrusive details that will become a key in bringing the story and the characters together. So keep an eye out.;)**

**This chapter goes hand in hand with Chapter 20 so it will be up a few minutes later.:)**

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**Chapter 19: Abysmal Propositions**

The day crawled to a close. Patrick drove me back home but he didn't stay too long. He said he needed to go hunting if I was going to be with him all day tomorrow. That piece of information certainly made me slightly flustered.

Surprisingly, I slept peacefully that night. The next thing I knew, the sun was peeking in through my windows. Saturday couldn't have come any quicker.

I decided to wear a blue collared shirt and dark colored jeans. Nothing too formal. I was barely able to contain the anxiety I felt over breakfast. After about 6 spoonfuls of cereal, I decided my stomach couldn't take anymore. I went upstairs to brush my teeth— trying to fend off thoughts about what I had thoughtlessly agreed to do.

After a lot of fidgeting and tripping, I couldn't really delay anymore. So I went to the telephone to call Patrick, then I realized I had no idea what his number was. I was trying to figure out a solution to my problem when I heard the soft purr of a car in the driveway. How convenient, the time of his arrival was. My heart started to thump audibly in my chest. The doorbell rang. Well, here goes everything.

I opened the door, sunlight flooding through in the process.

"Good morning." He stood in the doorway, every inch of his exposed skin glittering as he greeted me, flashing his brilliant teeth.

"Hey." I smiled up at him as naturally as I could.

"You look lovely." He observed. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Not even the least bit." I murmured.

"Are you frightened?" he asked I was shutting the door behind me.

"No." I lied abysmally. He scrutinized me, and I knew I hadn't fooled him.

He took my hand in his and led me to his car, his eyes never leaving my face. I felt a surge of calmness at his touch.

"Don't be. They're _all_ going to behave. I promise." He grinned as he shut the door.

I felt very apprehensive as he started the engine. It just dawned on me that I didn't know much about his family. I decided to start a conversation with that in mind. And honestly, I needed some sort of distraction.

"Patrick?" I said hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"Is it okay if I ask you something… personal?"

He turned to look at me, curiosity alight in his eyes. "Ask away."

"Well, I was just wondering…"

"Go on." He pressed after a few seconds of silence.

"I was wondering… Does any one else in your family have powers?"

He chuckled. "Of course."

I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. But after a few moments I got nothing. "Can you tell me about it?"

He glanced at me, slightly weary. "Ethan can use telepathy." He said in a carefully offhand tone. "Vaughan can stifle any negative emotions in a room. Lassarina and Lyra don't have any apparent powers but they are special… in a way. Josette's ability is… complicated. I don't know if I can explain it right."

"Can you try?" I was eagerly curious now. Asking him about this was not for mere distraction purposes anymore.

A faint smile appeared on his lips as he looked back at me. "Josette can… interpret? Yes, I think that's the right word. She can interpret body movements or actions into what a person is feeling or thinking or planning to do…" he paused. "I can't really find the right words to describe it to you."

"Oh." I nodded my head. Trying to convince him that I understood what he meant perfectly.

He laughed. "I'm sorry if I can't explain it better than that. You'll see for yourself soon enough."

"It's fine. I think I understand." I said honestly. "But, that part about Lassarina and Lyra…"

"What about it?"

"Can you explain it more?"

He gazed up to the clouds, collecting his thoughts. "Like I said, they don't really have 'powers', but they are special in their own way." He paused. "Lyra is incredibly perceptive and observant. And Lassarina has heightened senses— she's more sensitive than other vampires."

I tried to remember all the things he told me about his family. It was a lot to take in.

"So Lyra is the youngest?" I asked innocently.

"You could say that, yes." He grinned. "But she is also the oldest."

I laughed at the irony, understanding what he meant completely. "So who's the youngest in terms of… being a vegetarian?"

He laughed lightly at the term I used. "Lassarina is the most recent to join the family." He paused thoughtfully. "I was surprised by how well she controlled herself yesterday with you."

I looked out the window, remembering how easy it seemed for Lassarina to be such in close contact with me.

"Did she just come to your family one day?" I said, remembering what Edward had said about Alice and Jasper just suddenly arriving out of nowhere.

"No. That was Ethan. He came across our coven sometime around the 1920's. He was amazed by our way of life, so he stayed with us." He looked at me again, smiling slightly. "Lassarina is a completely different story. She entered our family years after Ethan. Ethan and I were running through the woods when we heard her scream. We arrived just in time to see another vampire spring on her."

He had paused and looked at me, gauging my reaction. I kept my face fairly neutral so he went on.

"Ethan had an unexplainable urge to rip the vampire away from her, but she was already bitten… twice. It was far too late to suck the venom back out. We carried her back to our house back then, and she's been with us ever since."

"What happened to the… vampire?"

"After being pulled away from Ina, the fiend just disappeared."

"Wow." That was all I could say to sum up the incredulity of it all. "You said Ethan came around in 1920…" I glanced at his face, suddenly hesitant to say my new question. "How old are you?"

He grinned at me. "Including the vampire years?"

I nodded.

"Why don't you try to guess?"

I thought for a minute. "105?"

His laughter echoed inside the car. "116."

**XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX**

"It's so nice to finally meet you, dear." Josette said smiling.

I was standing in their doorway, feeling strangely at ease. All of my former anxiety gone. Vaughan's power, of course.

"It's nice to meet you to." I said, returning her kind smile.

"Please, be comfortable. Why don't you take a seat?" Vaughan offered, leading the way to the living room. I looked at Patrick and he smiled at me encouragingly, taking me by the shoulder and following Vaughan in.

Vaughan was shorter than Patrick; he had jet-black curly hair and was good looking, despite being obviously aged. Josette had the straight shiny hair, the same color as Lyra's— you could clearly see that they were blood related.

"Where are the others?" Not more than a second after Patrick asked, three more vampires stood in front of our seats.

"Bella!" I looked up in time to see a blur of brown as Lassarina hugged me gently.

"Hey." I greeted her in a slightly startled voice.

"Bella, you know Lassarina." Patrick said in a musically amused voice. I saw Lassarina frown at the corner of my eye.

"These are Ethan and Lyra," he said pointing to each in turn. Ethan smiled kindly at me and Lyra nodded in acknowledgment, her face carefully placed in a calm mask.

"It's nice to meet all of you," I said timidly, "your house is so beautiful."

They went on to asking me questions. How I was doing, what my hobbies were, the usual. Lyra had been awfully quiet throughout the conversation, her eyes never leaving me. After a couple of minutes though, she stood up and went to me.

"Bella, do you mind if I talk to you in private?"

I glanced at Patrick from the corner of my eyes and saw that he was looking intently at Ethan. They must have been having their own private conversation.

"Um… Sure." I stood up to follow her, unsure.

"Lyra…" I turned at the sound of Patrick's voice. It was low which made it sound all the more menacing. Lyra stood her ground, not even bothering to turn around and look at Patrick.

"I'll be in the best behavior that I can manage." She said, sarcasm evident in her voice.

We went up a flight of stairs and into a huge hallway with two doors at each side. She walked into the last door on the left and entered a massive circular room, adored with different paintings and filled with different instruments. A white grand piano sat in the center. She pulled up the seat, ushered me to sit anywhere I wanted, put her fingers lightly on the keys and started playing a slow, calming tune.

"I don't really know how to play the piano you know," she said quietly, "this is the only piece I know. Ina taught me."

"It's hard to believe you don't play." I said in an equally quiet tone.

"I prefer the harp." She said as she closed her eyes. Her fingers moving of their own accord. "It's much more soothing."

"I can see that my… brother really likes you Bella." She continued, her eyes still closed. "It's not that I'm completely against it but I want to be honest with you. It bothers me. A lot."

My eyes were focused on following the movements of her fingers. "I know." I said quietly.

"Oh, you do?" She said, looking up at me. She smiled bitterly. "Patrick told you, didn't he?"

I stayed silent. Not really knowing what to say to this astonishingly breathtaking vampire.

"How much did he tell you Bella?" she continued in a calm voice.

I played with my fingers, avoiding her curious eyes. "He did tell me about your… agreement."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I'd wager as much."

We were silent for a minute— only the music from the piano filled the room.

"Do you like him?" she asked in an offhand tone.

"What's there not to like?" I murmured.

"As much as he likes you?" she countered.

"I don't know." I decided since the cards were on the table now, it would be well enough to pluck up some courage and ask questions of my own. "How much does he like me?"

She laughed darkly, but the sound weaved in the sound of the piano, as if an added melody. "Much, much, more than I like him… And that's saying a lot." Her voice grew fainter. "You can't see how much he's changed. I've never seen him so happy. He goes home everyday practically glowing, just by being able to get a glimpse of you. It's like the smile he's wearing is permanently glued to his face." She laughed lightly, recalling a memory. I, in turn, was blushing furiously. She was speaking so freely now. "He'd do anything for you, Bella." I thought I could hear a twinge of pain in the end.

The music stopped abruptly as Lyra turned to face me. "I know Patrick and I had an agreement, and I'm trying very hard to keep my word. He found someone he wanted, he found you. At this point, I should let him go completely… but I can't just yet." She stopped, scrutinizing my face.

"You have to seal the end of the deal Bella." She continued with a serious tone.

I looked at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I did say I would let him go if he found someone he wanted… but only if that someone wanted him _back._"

I was at a loss for words. So what did she want me to do? What was it that I _needed_ to say?

"I've been awfully patient with you Bella. I've watched you two since I came to Forks. And I have to say, I'm very baffled." She said, frowning slightly. "You're sending off very mixed signals. One minute you flirt with him, accepting his advances, the next minute it's like you're pushing him away— building this… this wall between you. I don't know what to make of it and it is extremely frustrating. Much more to see Patrick make such huge efforts and sacrifices that he never even made or put a thought into before." She huffed in annoyance at the end of her rant.

"I don't know how I need to act around him." I admitted.

Lyra sighed. "You don't need to act around him. Just be yourself."

"I'm… afraid." I murmured so quietly that I thought even she didn't catch that. I suddenly felt so vulnerable at the eyes of this stunning vampire.

I was surprised to see concern fill her eyes. "You don't need to be afraid of him. I swear he wouldn't be able to hurt you in any way possible."

I glanced at Lyra. She understood the meaning of my words perfectly.

"I know you must think I am terribly intrusive, but you should learn to open your heart to my brother. He may seem unharmed by your sudden… mood swings, but I know deep inside it's really bothering him." She paused thoughtfully.

"I swear I will pull off my end of the bargain. I'll leave you at peace and I won't bother you or Patrick again. All I ask for is some sort of assurance that you love him back or at least return some percentage of the affection you hold for him." Her eyes smoldered, making it impossible to break eye contact.

"I do like him, Lyra. Truly I do…" I had absolutely no idea what else I can say to keep Lyra at ease. She really did care a lot for Patrick and it made me feel slightly uneasy.

"And you're willing to do anything for him, like he is for you?"

I nodded. More likely in an attempt to pacify Lyra, but I did mean what I had just said.

"Willing enough to become one of us for him?" her eyes speculative as she said this. My vocabulary seemed to have flown off somewhere temporarily.

I jumped— the door suddenly swung open and a blur went past me, bringing Lyra off her seat.

"That is enough Lyra." Lassarina's stern voice said. "You're too much."

Lyra's shoulders slumped dejectedly. She sighed. "You're right." She turned to me remorse filling her eyes. "I'm sorry about that Bella. Please don't take my words against me. I just want… my brother to be happy."

"There's nothing to apologize about. I understand, Lyra." I said, finally composing myself.

She smiled at me— a genuine smile, not one full of bitterness or force. "Just think about what I said." Then she turned and walked out the door.

* * *

**A/N: I have to say I'm happy with this chapter. I finally got Lyra's thoughts out of the bag and it's been bugging me for quite some time now— popping in my mind after a few couple of hours… or minutes. Anyway, chapter 20 will be up in a few minutes. In actuality, chapters 19 and 20 are supposed to be one chapter only, but it would be far too long and dragging so I needed to split them into two. So in the meantime, please read and review.:)**

**Also, do read my newest twilight fic "Destroying Typecasts", the story's still building itself up but I'd appreciate it if you would also read and review.:)**

**Oh! And the poll! Please please please vote. The end of the story depends on it... and it depends on me too but still.:) do vote.:)**


	20. New Arrivals

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but Patrick and the Cullents.**

**A/N: I do believe that this is one of my favorite and most well written chapters. Links of the pictures of what other characters are wearing can be found in my profile page, if you're interested to see it.**

**I'm warning you right now, this is a very, very, very long chapter even excluding the songs I've put in. So you better get a decent seat and a pillow to hug tightly, 'cause you're in for a roller coaster ride.**

* * *

**Chapter 20: New Arrivals**

I heard a sigh and turned to see Lassarina frown disapprovingly at her sister's departure. Then she turned and faced me with an excited smile, pulling me out the door. "Let's go Bella, we have work to do!"

Five minutes later, I was inside her colossal bathroom with my hair in curlers and a make-up brush on my face. It was enough to distract me from the talk Lyra and I had.

"Lassarina, why are you torturing me?" I groaned as she applied a light blush on my cheeks.

She frowned. "I hate it when people use my full name. Call me Ina." A few seconds later, she still didn't answer my question. I asked her again, this time she let out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh Bella, isn't it obvious? Why else would I be, I quote, 'torturing you'?" She said as she pulled the curlers from my hair.

A thought dawned on me and I immediately felt my blood rush to my cheeks. "Does this have anything to do with the dance later this evening?"

Lassarina laughed. "The one at school? Of course not." She said smiling as she pulled part of my hair into a loose ponytail, leaving a few strands out to frame my face. "You said you didn't want to go and Patrick would never force you into something that would make you unhappy." She said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"You said 'the one at school'. Is there any other dance I should now about?" I asked. I was getting more annoyed by the minute.

"Not necessarily." She said in a calm voice, twisting me around so that I could look at myself in the mirror. I had to admit— I didn't look half bad.

Before I could ask anything else though, Lassarina was already pushing me back into her room.

"Get dressed. I'll just be outside if you need any help." She said pointing to the dress lying on her bed. I gasped.

"Ina, I…" I turned around to see that no one was there anymore.

I sighed and picked the dress up. It was beautiful, of course. But a little too dressy for my taste— I would never have bought it for myself willingly.

It was blue in majority, with silver encompassing its upper right side trailing to the waist— intertwining itself with the blue color. The top part was completely studded in silver and blue sequins which grew fainter as it trailed towards the bottom. Looking at it could have been comparable to a clear starry night sky.

I slipped it on— careful not to ruin the hair and makeup Lassarina had labored almost half an hour over. Then I put on the simple silver shoes she left for me. The heels not over two inches, but they were death traps, regardless. I took one last look at the mirror and went outside.

Lassarina was waiting impatiently, tapping her foot. She was already dressed up in a pink gown. Not the neon pink that would hurt your eyes, it was completely the opposite, soft and pastel. She looked like a goddess.

She squealed happily when she saw me. "Bella, you look fantastic!" She said as she twirled me around, inspecting every inch of me. "I knew this would look amazing on you!"

"Thanks." I mumbled, a little flustered. "Now can you tell me where we are going, please?"

"_We, _meaning Ethan, Lyra and Iare going to the school dance," she put a hand up to silence me, seeing as I was about to interrupt. "_You _on the other hand… well, it's a surprise. Oh Bella, you'll love it!"

I huffed in annoyance. "I'm not very fond of surprises."

Lassarina took my hand, still bobbing up and down in excitement, as she led me downstairs. I was more cautious than I usually was, afraid of tripping over the long fabric I was wearing.

I thought I was going to make it through the entire staircase but of course, being me, I tripped at the last step. I threw my arms out to catch myself from hitting the floor face on. But before my face even came in close contact with the floor, I found myself in Patrick's cool grasp. He helped me stand up and I smoothed out the dress I was wearing— not that it was necessary, it was not even crinkled one bit. It was only to avoid his surveying eyes.

"You look stunning." His warm, velvet voice said.

I looked up and he was smiling. His eyes were soft and sincere.

I smiled coyly up at him. "Thanks." I mumbled. "You look great too."

Great was an understatement, of course. He was beyond belief, wearing a black, timeless tux. I felt my self-esteem shrink as I stood next to him.

His laugh bellowed musically. "Why, thank you." He took my hand in his and led me outside. "I believe it's time for us to go."

"Go where, exactly?" I said, unsure, as he helped me into his car. He just grinned as he closed my door and stepped into the driver side.

"You'll see."

I was quiet the whole ride, watching the trees as we drove past— anxious about where exactly we were going. When he finally stopped, I had no idea where we were. I always had a lousy sense of direction.

He opened the door and disregarded my protests as he carried me out and told me to close my eyes. And then he started to run. I instinctively held on closer to him and shut my eyes tightly.

A few moments later, he stroked my hair and whispered in my ear. His cool, sweet breath caused me to shiver slightly. "You can open your eyes now Bella." He chuckled and set me down on my feet.

I gasped at what I saw. We were in a slightly huge circular meadow, not the same meadow Edward and I went to but a different one. Nevertheless, it was beautiful in its own way.

The moon and stars were the only source of light, but I could see everything clearly— fresh flower petals were scattered everywhere and a circular table was set up on one side. It was covered in a white silken cloth with an extravagant flower arrangement as its centerpiece. A variety of food was already placed on it, waiting to be partaken.

Patrick led me towards it and sat me down in a chair that was framed with invitingly green vines and small flowers. At the exact moment, tiny lights of blue, white, yellow and green came on around the surrounding trees and soft music started to play. I looked on in astonishment.

Patrick laughed lightly as he sat down and as I took everything in.

"Do you like it?" he said, flashing his brilliant set of teeth.

I looked at him and returned the smile. "It's… exquisite." I couldn't really find the words to describe it.

"While you were talking with Lyra, Ethan, Josette and I went here to set everything up." He beamed up at me.

I frowned. The earlier conversation with Lyra came back to me again. "You _asked _Lyra to talk to me?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. It was very timely though. I didn't want to leave at first, but Lassarina assured me that Lyra wouldn't do anything drastic. But she and Vaughan still stayed behind to make sure."

I nodded, feeling a little flustered about the earlier conversation with Lyra. Patrick wasn't in the house when Lyra talked to me, so he couldn't have possibly heard all the things she said. That was sort of a relief.

"You should eat that before it gets cold." He said in a quiet tone, nodding to the food in front of me.

I ate in silence as he watched me. His gaze thoughtful, the music was the only source of sound. I listened to the new song, taking in every word and note.

_I heard your name whispered on the wind.  
__It's a sound that makes me cry.  
__I hear a song blow again and again  
__through my mind and I don't know why.  
__I wish I didn't feel so strong about you,  
__Like happiness and love revolve around you._

_Trying to catch your heart  
__Is like trying to catch a star.  
__So many people love you,  
__That must be what you are._

_Waiting for a star to fall,  
__And carry your heart into my arms,  
__That's where you belong._

_I've learned to feel what I cannot see  
__But with you, I lose that vision.  
__I don't know how to dream your dream,  
__So I'm all caught up in superstition.  
__I want to reach out and pull you to me.  
__Who says I should let a wild one go free?_

_Trying to catch your heart  
__Is like trying to catch a star.  
__But I can't love you this much  
__And love you from this far._

_Waiting (however long…)  
__I don't like waiting (I'll wait for you…)  
__It's so hard waiting (don't be too long…)  
__Seems like waiting (makes me love you even more…)_

As the song ended, I was almost done with the meal I was eating. It was quiet for a few moments, but then another song started. This was a song I recognized.

_I try  
But I can't seem to get myself to think of anything but you.  
Your breath on my face,  
Your warm gentle kiss I taste—  
That's true.  
I taste the truth.  
You know what I came here for.  
So I won't ask for more_

_I wanna be with you.  
If only for one night...  
__to be the one who's in your arms,  
__who holds you tight._

_I wanna be with you.  
There's nothing more to say.  
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way._

_So I'll hope for tonight  
__like I would if you were mine to hold, forever more.  
And I'll savor your touch that I wanted so much.  
To be here before, to feel before,  
how beautiful it is just to be like this._

_I wanna be with you.  
If only for tonight...  
__to be the one who's in your arms,  
__who holds you tight.  
I wanna be with you.  
There's nothing more to say.  
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way.  
I wanna be with you._

At this point, I was already done eating and was gratefully gulping down the glass of water in front of me. Patrick's eyes never left me as I ate the scrumptious dinner I assumed he prepared for me.

_Oh, baby , I cant fight this feeling anymore  
Drives me crazy when I try to  
So come my way, take my hand,  
Can you make my wish, baby you are in command_

_I wanna be with you  
There's nothing more to say  
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way  
I wanna be with you  
I wanna be with you  
wanna be with you_

_Oooh, yeah_

_I wanna be, I wanna be with you  
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be_

_Yeah_

_I wanna be, I wanna be, yeah  
I wanna be (I wanna be with you)  
I wanna be with you yeah  
I wanna be with you_

As the song started to fade away, he stood up and held out his hand. He smiled his crooked smile, his eyes were sparkling in the moonlight.

"Would you like to dance?"

My eyes widened in disbelief. "Patrick, I told you I don't like dancing."

He took my hand, regardless and dragged me to the center of the meadow. The lights grew fainter as he spoke and a new song was starting to play.

"Actually I believe you said, and I quote, that it was the 'tripping over the air part' that you don't like." He chuckled as his lips grew into a large grin. "You didn't say that you didn't like _dancing_ in particular."

I glared at him. Stupid attention-filled vampires. "Moot point."

He laughed loudly and musically. As the words of the song became distinct , he put my feet on top of his, my hands on the nape of his neck and his arms encircled my waist— he was smiling all the while.

_When I see your smile,  
Tears run down on my face.  
I can't replace._

He started to move slowly, side to side at first then his pace widened and soon, we were spinning around graciously on the open field— like we were floating on top of the grass.

__

And now that I'm stronger, I have figured out,  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.  
And I know I'll find deep inside me,  
I can be the one.

"You have nothing to worry about," he whispered in my ear, sending another shiver through my spine, "I won't let you fall."

_  
I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever._

"I'll take your word for it." I mumbled into his chest.

He just laughed, as musically as ever, intertwining with the melody.

_I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

"Why does every one know how to dance but me?" I mumbled under my breath.

"I believe you would have been an exquisite dancer… if not for your little balance problems." He looked at me seriously, his lips pressed into a fine line— he was fighting the urge to smile.

I narrowed my eyes a him, feigning anger. He laughed again, resting his chin on top of my head.

_Seasons are changing,  
And waves are crashing,  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,  
I can show you I'll be the one_

_I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)  
I'll stand up with you forever.  
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,  
My true love, my whole heart.  
Please don't throw that away.  
'Cause I'm here... for you!  
Please don't walk away and,  
Please tell me you'll stay... here!_

_Whoa-oh!  
Stay!  
Whoa-oh!_

_Use me as you will!  
Pull my strings just for a thrill!  
And I know I'll be okay,  
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)_

_I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

_I will never let you fall!  
I'll stand up with you forever!  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!_

"This isn't half bad, now is it?" he eyed me, as if daring me to think otherwise. He was slowing down now, but another was song immediately starting to play as soon as the first one ended.

"It's alright, I guess." I mumbled, truly thinking that with his leading, it was quite pleasant.

This song was in the same mood as the first and Patrick twirled me around elegantly, now on a faster pace. Surprisingly, I was truly enjoying myself. I concluded it was only because I wasn't tripping all over myself but I knew there was a much, much deeper reason than that. I decided to take it easy and enjoy the moment as much as I could. I listened to the words of an all too familiar song and rested my head on his cold chest.

_  
And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
Cause I know that you'd feel me somehow.  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now._

He was now singing with the song, his voice even better than the singer's.

__

And all I can taste is this moment.  
And all I can breathe is your life.  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

_And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am._

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
When everything feels like the movies…  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive._

_And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am._

As the instrumental was playing, we were spinning around the meadow, gliding in a way that was unimaginable for me. I found myself getting lost in his topaz eyes— it was golder than it has ever been, smoldering into mine.

_  
I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am._

As the song ended, he spun me out— so similar to the end gestures of those who danced ballroom— only to bring me back again, and I was now enclosed in his arms which was supporting my small frame. The song was done now but my legs decided that this was the best moment to turn into gelo.

I stared at his impeccably perfect face as he held me. His hair was windswept from all the turning and whirling we did. Some locks of his brown hair fell to fringe his eyes and I found that I loved it that way.

We stayed in that position for a few moments, and I fell in deeper into his gaze. His identity was getting lost in my mind and I had to keep reminding myself to distinguish that he was not _him_.

I saw the blooming desire in his eyes, mixed with indecision, as his gaze fell on my lips. He was leaning closer. I involuntarily gasped and I felt myself giving in and my eyes closing of their own accord, but then he stopped— our lips was barely an inch away— and set me down on my feet.

I looked at him from under my lashes, slightly confused about his sudden change of actions. His arms were still on the small of my back, but our bodies weren't pressed against each other anymore. His breathing was slightly uneven and his eyes were closed, as if he was trying to control himself.

When he had opened his eyes again, I could clearly see that they were slightly darker. My intuition told me that normal thirst was not the one that was causing this, but a whole different hunger— and I could see the enormous effort he was using to control his human self.

I reached up and traced the shadows under his eyes. "Are you thirsty?" I knew that this was a different thirst, but I still wanted to make sure.

"No, I'm fine." He gave me a strained smiled and led me to the table.

I watched as his eyes returned to its normal molten gold as we sat facing each other, in a comfortable silence.

"You know Bella, the songs we danced through weren't just played randomly." He stated matter-of-factly, regaining composure.

I figured as much as I listened to the songs while we danced. The meanings that the words implied had too much in common.

"I put a lot of thought in choosing those songs, knowing they would best express how I feel for you." He continued, staring at the sky intently, deep in thought. "Of course, I could never put in words how deeply I care for you… though I hoped that the songs implied, even minutely, how irrevocably and undeniably I do love you." He said quietly.

I couldn't bring myself to reply. I had no idea what to say to him. I felt so irritated by myself as I just sat there staring at him, as he poured out his heart to me. He didn't seem to mind my silence though, he just continued with what he was saying.

"Love is such a broad word, never really having one simple definition." He finally glanced at me as he said this, a faint smile on his lips.

"Right now though, to me, it's like looking at a barrage of fireworks. As they flare into the sky, it temporarily blinds you— captivating your entire being into its wondrous beauty. It floods the sky with color and brightness. The beauty of the spectrum of colors overpowers the noise." He paused still looking at me intently. "But then it ends all too soon, leaving your eyes with the echo of its light… And its deafening roar is replaced by a silence that stretches on and on, making you wish it hadn't ended yet, no matter how much the noise upset your ears."

"Out of all the things you could have compared love to, you chose fireworks. I haven't heard of that one before." I said, trying to lighten the mood. It worked. He laughed again, the musical tone of his laughter filling the meadow.

"Well, I didn't choose to compare it with fireworks for no reason." He smiled his crooked smile.

My forehead creased slightly. "What do you mean?"

He beamed at me and directed his gaze unto the night sky. I followed his gaze and at that exact moment, the lights on the trees dimmed and I there was a massive bang accompanied with a rain of different colors as fireworks flooded the sky, lighting up the pasture completely.

My eyes were glued to the scene above me, marveling at the intense beauty. I didn't even notice that Patrick had pulled me up. His hand was at the small of my back, pressing me closer to him as he stood beside me— not even bothering to look at the fireworks, but instead staring intently at my face in amusement as I watched in awe. The display lasted for several minutes before the night was quiet again. I looked back at Patrick feeling moisture fill my eyes.

"You did all of this for me?" I gasped at him in disbelief.

He smiled softly, caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. "I would give you nothing less. All of this doesn't even measure up to half as much of what you have given me."

I shook my head at the immense improbability of that statement. "Impossible. What have I given you to deserve all this?" I paused, looking up at his smoldering eyes. "It just throws us completely off balance."

He laughed lightly, holding me closer to him. "You've given me this moment… This chance to be with you. It's so much more than I could ever ask for."

I could feel the tears threatening to leak out at any moment. I stared at him, utmost gratitude and disbelief still present in my eyes.

He brought his hands to my face and said in his sweet, velvet voice, "I love you Isabella Swan. I will always do."

His declaration and Lyra's words were now swimming in my mind.

'_One minute you flirt with him, accepting his advances, the next minute it's like you're pushing him away— building this… this wall between you.'_

'_You don't need to be afraid of him. I swear he wouldn't be able to hurt you in any way possible.'_

She had said this… all of this… I could see now how much truth was in her words now, more than ever.

'_You should learn to open your heart to my brother. He may seem unharmed by your sudden… mood swings, but I know deep inside it's really bothering him.'_

This was the truth. Every single thing Lyra said was true. No matter how much it pained her to see Patrick falling deeper into an inevitable void for me, slipping farther away from her, she chose to be honest and offer her sincere advise in an attempt to make him happy… and now I could see that she wished the same for me— for me to be happy in the arms of the person who taught me to live again, who had stitched me up and who I had unconsciously given a part of my heart to.

But was that part big enough to open my still recovering heart to him fully? Was I ready to give love another chance?

"I…" I looked at his eyes. I could feel my cheeks burning and the water in my eyes spilling over as I struggled to say the words I knew he wanted to hear. All the while, he was looking into my eyes, searching for something. "I…"

Suddenly he smiled faintly and brought up a finger to my lips to stop me from speaking. "Bella, please, don't reciprocate to what I said right now. I don't want you to say that you love me too just because you're afraid of hurting me. I'd rather you tell me that when you truly, incontestably mean it and I don't care how long that will take." He paused, dabbing the tears away that were now falling freely to my cheeks. "I'm willing to wait… even for an eternity." He laughed lightly.

I sobbed into his chest as he hugged me tightly. I pulled myself closer to him, the coldness of his chest that was still apparent through the layers of clothes he wore was calming me in a very effective way.

"For now, this is enough." He whispered into my ear, his voice was filled with undeniable sincerity.

Suddenly, he stiffened against me and I looked up to see what was wrong. His eyes were surveying the forest in search of something, his arms never loosening their grip on me as he did so. His eyes finally rested on the north end of the forest, narrowing infinitesimally. I turned my head to look at the same direction and saw something move in the shadows and a clapping sound echoed through the forest as the figure stepped into the moonlight. Patrick took a protective stance in between me and the new arrival, one hand still holding me.

"How amiably sweet your assertion was Edward." The person in the shadows said.

Patrick glanced at me.

Who the hell was this person? And how many more people would mistake Patrick for Edward? I knew we were in danger, but that mere trivial fact was getting quite annoying.

"What do you want?" Patrick said in a low menacing tone at what I could see now was a petite vampire with topaz eyes.

"Where's Laurent?" she said in a still calm manner.

A piece of the puzzle suddenly came into place. This must be a vampire from the Denali coven… She could have possibly taken a liking into Laurent during his stay there.

"I gave him exactly what he deserved for even regarding Bella as a snack!" He growled once more.

The vampire's eyes widened, her already chalk white face becoming impossibly paler as she spoke. "No… you didn't…"

Patrick barred his teeth. "What is it to you if I did?" His voice was now low but there was no mistaking the underlying anger and venom in his tone.

"You're going to pay." Her voice was thick with venom and her eyes darted to mine. "So it all comes back to you, doesn't it?" she now regarded me with utmost hatred. Her eyes went back to Patrick's unmoving stance in front of me. "I'm going to get your dear Bella first, so that you can see just how painful it is to be forcefully separated from the one you love!" Her voice grew higher and louder with each word— up to the extent that I needed to cover my ears to block out the shrill sound.

Patrick growled, loud and menacing, causing the hairs on my back to stand up. Both of them were crouching lower preparing to fight.

Just then, a blur of white entered the field, followed closely by another one. The first one held the petite vampire in place. Suddenly I felt calm and peaceful as the second vampire stopped in front of me.

"Irina, don't be rash." The voice, similar to the tinkling of bells was something I knew all too well.

New moisture found its way to my eyes as I surveyed the two new vampires. The first who held the vampire she called Irina on the shoulders was small and pixie-like, with her black hair standing up in different directions. The second who was nearer to me was honey blonde, lean and muscular. I stood gaping at them.

"Alice… Jasper…" I gasped. "You're here. You're both here!" I said disbelievingly.

Were my eyes playing tricks on me? No. My brain was telling me that they were really here. The sudden calm I felt upon Jasper entering the pasture only proving it further.

All their eyes turned to me. Patrick was not in his protective stance anymore, seeing as I knew these two new vampires, but he was still tense as he held me close to his side.

"No!" Irina's voice drifting their attention away from me. "He killed him! Your brother killed my Laurent!" she growled, the pain was evident in her voice.

Alice turned to look at me longingly, as if she would rush towards me and hug me fiercely if we were reunited under different circumstances. But her eyes left my face all too soon and rested on Patrick, now void of any emotion.

"Take Bella back home, Edward." Alice said to him.

I knew both she and Jasper knew that this was not Edward. And I could see that Patrick was seeing through her— that she was just going along with Irina's misconception. Jasper now moved to Irina's side as she continued to struggle against Alice's unbelievable strong grasp.

"Jasper and I will take care of everything. Just… Please make sure that Bella's safe. I trust you enough to know that you would keep her out of harm's way." Her eyes were now suddenly burning in a way I've never seen before, urging Patrick to understand through his narrowed eyes.

I looked at Patrick and turned his face to meet my gaze.

"Do what Alice said." I whispered to him, knowing he would still hear me against Irina's loud screams of protest. "Trust her." I stared into his eyes with burning determination to make him see that Alice and Jasper were not enemies, that they were truly here to help. My mind was shouting at him to just do what Alice said.

All the uncertainty dissolved as I gazed into his eyes. He nodded at me and turned back to Alice and Jasper.

"I'll leave her to you." He said nodding towards the vampire struggling against Jasper's arms. He then looked at Alice in the eyes, his own golden ones were burning with intensity. "I trust you." He said in a quiet tone, sincerity covered his words.

And with that, he scooped me into his arms and ran into the forest, leaving Alice, Jasper and a sobbing Irina in our wake.

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**A/N: Well? Tell me what you think please! And I hope you paid close attention to the songs. It's hard to express how much Patrick cares for Bella… so I hope this will give you a faint idea of just how much she means to her. Oh, and Alice and Jasper are back. Yay for me! :)**

**Don't forget to vote on the poll that can be found in my profile page. Also, read my other twilight fic: 'Destroying Typecasts'.**

**Lastly, reviews would be highly appreciated. Click that button on the left if you love me and my story.:) 'Cause I definitely love you, my ever faithful and patient readers.:)**


	21. Inevitable Veracities

**All the disclaimers I have posted since the start of the story still stands.**

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**Chapter 21: Inevitable Veracities**

Patrick was tensed the whole ride home— prepared to spring at the smallest sign of attack— shooting concerned glances in my direction every few seconds. I on the other hand, was completely lost in thought.

Alice and Jasper were back and another new vampire was bent on destroying me as compensation for her mate's death. But being the bizarre person that I was, not a single one of these boggled my mind as much as the fact that if it hadn't been for Irina's timely entrance, I would have declared myself to Patrick. I would have removed the well hidden pain in his eyes with the words I knew he was dying to hear right then and there— even if he said he would wait as long as it takes.

When we arrived at my house, Patrick wordlessly helped me out of his car. I glanced at him and another realization dawned on me. I was still in the dress Lassarina had put me in and Charlie had no idea where I've been and that Patrick and I were… What _were_ we?

I looked back at house frantically.

"What am I going to tell Charlie?" I murmured mostly to myself but he of course, would hear.

"You don't need to worry about that." He whispered in my ear as he opened the front door for me and ushered me in.

I nodded as I remembered his convenient little talent.

I turned to say good night to him and was surprised that he closed the door behind him. My eyes widened in panic.

"What are you doing? Charlie—"

"Relax Bella. He's asleep on the couch." I followed his gaze and sure enough, my dad was lying on the couch in a deep sleep.

I gasped as I was swept up from my feet and suddenly brought inside my room. I heard the door close behind me with a silent thud.

"My motor skills are completely fine you know. I could've walked upstairs by myself." I sighed as I looked at him and my breath suddenly hitched. He was leaning by the window with his arms crossed. His eyes seemed troubled as he gazed into the night. The streaks of lighter brown in his hair were more apparent and his hair remained windswept from the run— he was painstakingly above beautiful in the moonlight.

I walked up to him and touched his arm lightly. "Are you alright?"

He turned to face me with a strained smile on his face and cautiously held me closer to him. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

I glanced up at him confused. "I'm fine."

"You've had a very eventful day. What happened to you is a lot to take in. Are you sure you're alright?" His eyes were filled with anxiety.

"Just peachy." I smiled up at him to lessen his apprehension.

He sighed and tightened his arms around me. "I wanted this evening to be memorable… but not in this way."

I stared into his smoldering gold eyes. It was filled with sadness and pain… I couldn't take it. I wanted to remove all the hurt he was feeling, I wanted to make everything better. He was suffering because of me— because of my stubbornness to recognize the feeling that had been brewing inside of me since he came. It hurt me to see him in such a condition.

I buried my head in his chest and blurted out the words I had once swore would never come out of my mouth unless directed to Edward.

"I love you."

Now, that wasn't so bad was it? Wrong. I felt horrible. I felt like I was betraying Edward in some way… but he wasn't here. He didn't love me anymore and I couldn't lie to myself anymore either. I truly do love Patrick, maybe not as strong as I had loved Edward, but strong enough to start moving on. Saying those words somehow lightened the weight of my heart.

I felt my cheeks start to burn as we stood there in each other's arms for who knows how long.

I heard him draw a ragged breath and his voice was uneven when he spoke. "What?"

I sighed. "I love you."

He drew back slightly and tilted my chin upwards so that he could see my face clearly. I was shocked to see that the pain in his eyes was intensified as I stared back at him. Was it wrong to say those words?

He shook his head back and forth slightly. "Bella I…" he stopped abruptly and disentangled himself from me, though one arm was still at the small of my back as he turned to face the window. I turned to him, confused by his actions and followed his gaze.

I was about to open my mouth to speak but the tree outside rocked ever so slightly and suddenly I found myself in the enthusiastic arms of the black pixie-like vampire that was my best friend… my sister.

"Alice!" I gasped.

Tears suddenly and illogically spilled from my eyes as I returned her hug just as eagerly. I cried on her shoulder for what seemed like hours— though in reality I knew it was just a few minutes— but she didn't mind. She just continued to hold on to me as she waited for my tears to end. I saw from the corner of my eye that Patrick had settled himself in the rocking chair at the corner of my room, his face vacant from any expression.

I pulled back and gazed happily at the vampire standing in front of me. I didn't realize how much I missed her. Heck, I even missed her lunatic shopping trips and makeovers… On second thought, maybe not that much.

"Am I dreaming?" I said in a quiet tone, a little skeptical.

She laughed— the sound of wind chimes— and I found that I missed that distinct sound too. "I'm really here Bella."

"You came back."

"Jasper and I did."

"Where is he?" I looked around the room but Alice, Patrick and I were the only ones here.

"He's still in the forest but he'll be here soon."

"What did you do with the other one?" Patrick's smooth velvet voice issued from the corner he sat from.

"We tried to talk some sense into her but her mind was set. We didn't really want to kill her though she wouldn't listen to reason."

I shuddered at her words, incapable of visualizing sweet and petite Alice murdering a sought on revenge vampire. "You… killed her?" I asked in disbelief.

Her expression turned to chagrin. "We… tried."

"You let her get away?" Patrick's tone was low and filled with anger as he materialized beside us.

"I was… distracted." Her eyes briefly flashed to my face as she said this. "And Jasper got distracted by me so Irina took the opportunity and bolted into the forest. By the time I snapped out of it, Jasper was running after her but she was too fast for him."

I knew that 'distracted' was just Alice's discreet way of telling me that she had a vision. She didn't really need to mask her words carefully because Patrick already knew her talent. But I was too preoccupied to place care in Alice's vision.

"She got away?" I asked in disbelief simultaneous to Patrick's low growl.

"Don't worry about her. She doesn't pose any threat to us and she is clearly outnumbered." Alice told me in a soothing voice though it did only little to pacify me.

Patrick held my hands and looked in my eyes with a new intensity. "Breathe, Bella. I swear I won't let her touch you."

I knew how true his words were and I allowed myself to be calmed by his touch. I nodded and did my best to smile at the two of them.

Alice had a frustrated expression on her face when she spoke again. "Bella, may I speak to you in private?"

I glanced at Patrick. His face was carefully calm. I sighed, not really wanting the source of my composure leave my side. "Patrick, do you mind?"

He smiled at me. His eyes were soft as he spoke. "Go ahead. I'll just bring the car back home. I'll come back later." He then turned to Alice as he added, "Please take care of her and make sure she's safe."

Alice nodded and surprised me by giving Patrick a small smile. "Of course."

I smiled up at him and he swooped down to kiss my cheek before he jumped out the window. I turned back to Alice to see her face anxious, sad and… in pain? I didn't say anything and waited for her to start.

"Bella," she started carefully. "Jasper and I came back for a reason."

I felt my face drop. Of course. I was stupid to believe that they came back simply because they wanted to see how I was doing… because they still cared for me.

"We did want to come back and see you, of course." Alice quickly amended, interpreting my sudden depression correctly. "We miss you, terribly. We didn't even want to leave in the first place. But there was never enough reason for us to come back to Forks. Edward made us promise not to interfere."

I wasn't reason enough for them to come back... That sunk in like cold sharp daggers piercing me. "And now you have reason enough?" I was trying to control the sudden anger that was boiling up inside me.

"Yes…" Alice said quietly. "I want my brother back."

The statement completely threw me off. "What?"

"Edward." Alice started pacing about and started talking in a frantic voice. I've never seen her act like this before and it slightly scared me. "Edward didn't come with us when we left Forks. He went off by himself and tore himself apart from us. He never called to check in and he never answered any of our calls. Carlisle and Esme were keeping a calm façade and kept saying he'll come round when he's ready. But I knew deep inside they were worrying about his well-being. Like all of us— me, Jasper, Emmett and Rose— were."

She plopped down on my bed with a thud and continued. "My visions were going hay wire whenever I tried to look into his future. I kept getting flashes of… things. There was never a solid vision and it made me panic even more."

I sat down beside her and put my arm around her small frame to comfort her. "Then suddenly he re-appears and tells us that he's going after… that he's found something to distract him. Something to make him useful, he said. The same day he left and he went back to his routine of no contact. We started to worry again."

"And then a week ago, he came back to Denali. His eyes were pitch black and I knew he hadn't hunted for more than a month. He never looked so weak, so vulnerable, so broken." Her voice was pained when she reached the end. I felt my chest contract as she relayed her story. Edward was in pain… but why?

"The moment I looked in his eyes Bella, I knew that Edward was lost— he was not my brother." She took in an unnecessary breath and continued. "It was so horrible Bella! To see nothing, no trace of emotion in his eyes, no trace of life… It would have been better if he broke all the things in the house, if he shouted, sobbed, I don't care! Anything's better than what he is now… Empty. Lifeless. Dead."

I felt pain coarse through my body as I took in her every word. My breathing grew erratic. What Alice was telling me was the way _I_ acted when they left.

Alice took my hand in hers. "You're the only one who can bring him back to his senses."

"I don't understand what you mean."

Alice let out an exasperated breath.

"Bella, Edward's made it plain for everyone to see that he can't exist without you." She sighed. "You might be able to live without him, but he certainly can't manage without you."

I felt angry tears well up in my eyes. "Live without him? You didn't see how I was Alice! Charlie thought I was getting deranged and Renee was practically going to drag me out of my room and into a plane with her if I didn't get any better soon! My friends said I was like a zombie and all the while, I felt like my heart was slowly being ripped out." The tears were now flowing freely from my cheeks.

"You may have been like that at first, Bella. But you coped with it and moved and did _something_. Edward though… He's not just making us worry. He's making us frightened. Even Jasper can't read his emotions anymore. You're doing much, much better at managing." She looked at me sadly. "I saw it. You told Patrick that you loved him. It was that vision that distracted me and Jasper and allowed Irina to escape."

"I love Edward more." I murmured guiltily and what was that? I almost sounded like I was unsure.

She smiled sadly. She was about to say something but decided against it.

"Besides, he said he didn't love me anymore." I said to myself quietly.

Alice gave me an incredulous look. "Earth to Bella! Do you think he would be acting this way if he didn't love you anymore? I swear, saying that he's head over heels is the understatement of the year." She pouted at me. "He can't live without you. Bella… Edward needs you. More than anything in the world. Ever since you came into his life, his entire existence revolved around you… depended on you. You weren't there to see how great a change you made into his life."

I shook my head slowly, not daring to hope, to believe that Edward didn't just want me… he needed me.

"Bella," Alice's eyes were now filled with an intensity I've never seen before. "Edward lied to you. He had to. He knew you wouldn't let him go so easily so he said that he didn't love you anymore even though that is one of the most improbable things in the universe! And you can't imagine how much it hurt him to see how easily you believed that one, single, lie compared to the thousand numerous times that he said how much you meant to him."

She stared into my eyes, willing me to understand. I could fee a tiny seed of hope in my chest. Alice said Edward still loved me.

"Bella, the only reason Edward left was to protect you. After your birthday… he sort of snapped. He said that he couldn't take all the dangers he inflicted on your life. I tried to talk some sense into him, we all did. But he didn't listen. He made us promise not to come back— to allow you a chance at a normal human life and he deluded himself into thinking that you would be able to move on sooner or later. We had no choice."

I looked at Alice and saw nothing but truth in her eyes. It dawned on me now that somehow I knew, deep inside me, I knew all along that Edward still loved me. That's why I was so unwilling to leave Forks, to move on and let go of him.

Alice pulled me into a hug as I started to sob uncontrollably on her shoulder.

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard!" My speech was a muffled sound but I was sure she could make it out. "He's crazy to think that I would ever get over him."

"I know, Bella. I know." She sighed as she pulled away from me. Her eyes flashed to something behind me. "You can come up Jasper, it's alright."

I turned to look behind me and saw Jasper with his gaze downcast.

"Jasper, it's great to see you again." I smiled at him as my sobs subsided but did not take a step nearer. I didn't want to test his control, just yet.

I suddenly felt irrationally guilty as Jasper looked at me. Then I realized that it was Jasper's guilt that was flooding into mine and Alice's body.

"What's up?" I asked him, my own concern mixing with the wave of guilt he was sending off.

He looked uncertainly at Alice and when she nodded encouragingly, he slowly walked towards me. When he was less than a feet away from me, he caught me in complete surprise as he leaned in, and pulled me into an unexpected hug.

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**A/N: How did you like this chapter? I wrote Alice not as the bubbly one that we are used to but a disappointed and very anxious Alice. It takes a lot to get Alice really worried and disappointed so I hope that the fact that Alice was in pain because of Edward's dead eyes that haunted her would help you grasp just how terrible Edward's condition is.**

**Please review people! And I have to say, I'm very surprised at how the poll is turning out. Keep on voting. And read my other story "Destroying Typecasts". Chapter 3 will be up shortly.:)**


	22. Reawakening

**Disclaimer still stands.**

**Warning:** Long author's note at the end of this chapter.

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**Chapter 22: Re-awakening**

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jasper's voice was quiet when he spoke. He let go of me but held my hands in his.

I looked at him, bewildered, but did not respond.

"It was all my fault. If I hadn't lost control, you and Edward would still be together. He wouldn't have forced us to move and both of you wouldn't have felt all the pain you've gone through." I could sense the guilt he was feeling flooding through my body again. It was overwhelming.

"Jasper, if there's anyone to blame it would be me and my stupid luck." I tried to throw in a laugh to ease the tension in the atmosphere but I could feel that it was not working. "If I didn't cut my finger, this would never have happened."

He was shaking his head even before I finished talking. "Still, I should have been able to control myself. There isn't any excuse for what I did." He was now giving off an incredible amount of pain. I could feel my own face contort with grief. "I could have killed you… If they hadn't stopped me, I could have killed my own sister and I would never have forgiven myself for that."

I felt newly found joy amidst all the negative emotions in the air due to his words. Aside from Rosalie, Jasper the one Cullen who rarely spent time with me. Hearing from his own voice that he saw me as his own sister really touched me. Jasper has always been silent and I didn't know that Jasper felt that way.

I smiled at him. "Then you would understand that I could never find it in me to hold a grudge against my brother, right?"

Some of the guilt and pain he felt eased a little. He squeezed my hand as he spoke.

"Can you ever find it in yourself to forgive me?"

I laughed softly. "There isn't anything to forgive."

"Thank you." Finally, he smiled slightly then he shook his head in disbelief. "It looks like our leaving didn't bring you any good at all."

"Not so much."

"Edward's right. You're a magnet for trouble."

I felt pain flicker through my face as he said Edward's name. These past weeks I was already able to think of his name without flinching at all— credit goes to Patrick, of course. But after tonight's revelation, I was tormented with that searing ache again.

Sensing my emotions, Jasper sent a wave of calm through me. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

My reply was suddenly cut off by a soft gasp from Alice. She was standing by the window, fingers clenched against the frame with her eyes chillingly blank. Jasper was beside her in a heartbeat, holding her hands in his. As soon as Alice's vision was through, Jasper questioned her in a very practiced way.

"Alice, what did you see?"

She looked at him directly at his eyes and spoke in what I knew as a carefully calm voice. "Nothing really. Carlisle finally decided to listen to me."

I saw Jasper look at her critically as a silent understanding passed through them.

From the tone of her voice, I knew that she was keeping something from me. That wasn't her real vision and I knew she wouldn't tell Jasper the truth unless I was out of an earshot. I narrowed my eyes at both of them.

"Alice, what did you see? Really."

"Can I borrow you phone for a minute? My battery's low." She said, outstretching her hand to Jasper as he gave her his phone, completely ignoring me.

"Who're you going to call?" I asked her.

Once again, she didn't answer. Instead, she flipped the phone open and put it against her ear. She spoke quietly, her voice was too low and fast for my hearing. I was getting frustrated. What was she keeping from me?

After a few minutes, I swear I heard Alice growl at the person on she was speaking to. Okay, this was getting far beyond frustrating.

"Alice, please tell me what's going on." I pleaded with her. I hated being kept in the dark.

Her eyes flickered to my direction, they were wide and unsure. She was debating with her herself. Then she sighed and handed me the phone. I took it uncertainly and pressed it against my ear.

"Hello?" I said hesitantly. My heart raced as I was answered by a soft sob.

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox**

ALICE CULLEN

I stared out the window, focusing all my might to not overhearing Bella and Jasper's conversation. But it was difficult, what with vampire hearing and all. It was good that things would finally be settled between them and that Jasper would finally be spared from feeling the unnecessary guilt every time he was reminded of Bella's disastrous 18th birthday— which was coincidentally every day since Edward came back to Denali with us.

I let my mind wander as I looked into the night. That vision earlier with Bella saying those words to Patrick, made me slightly depressed. How was that possible? Bella was made for Edward. They were soul mates, two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly making each other whole. But now Bella was in love with Patrick.

But Bella's affection for him was nowhere near as strong as it had been for Edward. Nothing could compare to that. Even Bella admitted it herself a while ago.

Patrick Cullent. From my visions, I saw a glimpse of his face and immediately saw the mysterious resemblance he had with Edward. But seeing and talking to him in person— there in that meadow even with my vampire senses and a while ago here in Bella's room— I totally understood Irina's earlier misconception.

He was too much like Edward. The way he talked, dressed, his actions and reactions— everything but his hair color reminded me of my brother. I felt like I was missing something… something that would string together all these broken pieces.

Maybe later this evening, Jasper and I would visit this vampire's family and get to know more about them. That would surely help us.

My mind suddenly shut down and all my senses were diminished. In the back of my mind, pictures and sounds were starting to form. I soft gasp escaped my mouth. The images raced past and the vision ended as quickly as it came.

I was now vaguely aware of Jasper holding my hands and asking me in a calm voice to explain what I saw.

I decided against it since Bella was listening, but stuck with something that was true.

"Nothing really. Carlisle finally decided to listen to me."

Jasper looked at me intently and an understanding passed between us. I would tell him later, when we were alone.

"Alice what did you see? Really." Bella asked me. I ignored her first.

Carlisle. I needed to call him. I was about to reach in my pocket but I remembered that I forgot to charge my cellphone earlier. The power wouldn't be enough to make a call.

"Can I borrow you phone for a minute? My battery's low."

I took the phone from Jasper, further ignoring Bella's questions, dialed the number and put it up to my ear.

"Jasper?" Carlisle's voice greeted me.

I talked using my vampire speed and in a voice that I knew was too low for Bella to hear. "No, no, it's Alice. Carlisle, I had a vision."

I spoke quickly and quietly, relaying the vision for both him and Jasper— unlike Bella, Jasper would catch on everything we said. I knew he would keep calm, making sure that Bella doesn't know that he already knew.

"That isn't good. What do you suggest we do?"

"What I've been telling you to do. Come back here."

"We would… but Edward won't move. We're afraid of having Emmett move him against his own free will because he might run of again and in his current condition, God knows what he'll do to himself."

"He still hasn't snapped out of it." I said, frustrated. "Put him on the phone."

"I can't assure you that he'll respond to you Alice. Much less hear you out." I could hear the frown in Carlisle's voice.

"He will. He's in there somewhere. We just need to break through." I did not know what made me so sure that he'd listen to me but with Bella beside me, I was oddly confident.

I heard Carlisle open a door and murmur "Alice wants to talk to you."

I waited for a second then started to talk. I explained to him where Jasper and I was and the vision I had in a span of seconds. All throughout my dialogue, Edward didn't say a thing. I got annoyed like hell.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, snap out of it. You're moping around isn't doing anyone any good. Didn't you hear what I said? Bella needs you."

A second's silence and then "Bella?" Edward's rough voice answered. Finally! I thought, sighing. A rush of emotions passed through me after my brother finally woke up from his zombie state.

"Yes. Bella needs you."

I was surprised as his low growl issued from the other end of the line. "Why did you go back? I thought I explicitly explained that you and the others were to leave her alone. She deserves a normal, happy human life and she won't be able to have that with you there with her."

I growled back at him, but still in a controlled voice. "Were you even listening to what I was saying earlier?" I let out a bitter laugh. "You think you're doing what's best for her but if you'd seen what I have, you would have planted in your thick skull a long time ago that the only place that Bella would ever be truly happy was with us— with you!"

"How can that be possible? I don't deserve her, she's too pure, too innocent to love a monster." Edward answered in a quiet tone. He was starting to sob.

"You're crazy to even think that! Leaving only caused Bella to be as broken as you. Why didn't you trust me when I told you not to leave?" I was suddenly upset, my anger faded away as I heard my brother dry sobbing. "Look what it's done to both of you."

Bella's voice suddenly rang through the room. "Alice, please tell me what's going on."

I heard Edward's intake of breath on the other line. "She's there. Did you tell her your vision?"

"Not yet." I spoke, eyeing Bella warily.

Edward sighed and spoke in an awfully controlled voice. He was doing everything to calm and collect himself. "I want to speak with her."

I hesitated. Suddenly, I was not sure whether handing the phone back Bella was the smartest thing to do.

"Please Alice." Edward begged with me, the pain and longing he felt apparent in his voice.

I couldn't refuse him. I sighed and handed the phone to Bella.

"Hello?" she said in an unsure voice.

I heard Edward sob again on the other end. Bella's eyes started to shine with moisture and Jasper projected her emotions to me as they passed through her— pain, sadness, longing, a surprising amount of anger but then settled to an overwhelming amount of love.

Well, this was going to be… interesting.

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**A/N: Ooh-la la. Edward and Bella finally get re-united… well, sort of. I wonder how the conversation will go. Oh, and I wonder what Alice's vision was. Why don't you try and guess? I'll dedicate the next chapter to the one who correctly and accurately guesses Alice's newest vision.**

**Hmm.. I wonder how Patrick is. How is he taking all of this? (sighs) Oh well, I'll go ask him myself. Lol.**

**The poll on the end pairing will be closing soon so I suggest that you vote, vote, vote, so that you get your desired ending! Either way, I'm still going to post the original ending I have in the rough draft after I've posted _your _desired end pairing.:) I have to say, the recent poll results surprised me. Some people actually voted for Patrick and Edward! Lol. You don't know how wrong but greatly amusing that is to me.**

**Lastly, if you want to bring me joy and bring you, possibly, faster updates, read my other twilight fic: "Destroying Typecasts" and send in some great, long reviews for both my stories, people.:)**


	23. Anticipated Absolution

**A/N: Before anything else, I would like to apologize for the immense delay of this chapter. I've been racking my brain for days to come up with a decent phone conversation and nothing just measures up. But I do hope you are satisfied with the outcome of the tedious workout my brain has been going through these past few days, though I am apologizing right now if it doesn't level up to your expectations. I did try my best to draw out what has been going on in my cramped mind. Please, read and review.**

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**Chapter 23: Anticipated Absolution**

Edward's sob echoed in my mind and a flurry of emotions passed through me. A long silence issued between us, both of us not really knowing what to say. I was starting to wonder whether Edward went back to his catatonic state— as Alice had put it, had taken a run for it and left Carlisle's cellphone behind or was just simply too overwhelmed. Just then, I heard his raspy voice on the other line. It seemed to have been unused for quite a while.

"Bella?"

At the sound of his voice, an unexpected fury welled up inside me. The next words out of my mouth were something I never imagined saying to him.

"Edward Cullen, you are so stupid!"

The force of the words and the strong emotion behind them caused Jasper to stagger back out of surprise.

"I know." He admitted.

"How could you just leave me here all alone to suffer day after day, replaying every heartless thing you said to me when you left? How could you toy with my emotions so easily?" My voice broke at the end and the tears in my eyes finally fell. The frail stitches holding the hole in my heart came apart.

I heard Edward's intake of breath in the other end of the line. His voice was weak when he spoke, but I could hear the immense pain and guilt in it.

"Bella I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this. Truly, I didn't. At that time, I thought what I was doing was for the best— to keep you safe. But now, I can see the immense damage I've caused… to you, to my family… to the both of us. You're right, I'm stupid. I'm an idiot. Call me whatever you want, I deserve it. I can see how horrible and vast a mistake I've done and I'm truly very sorry."

Some of the anger fell away as I heard the deep sincerity and remorse in his voice. Alice was suddenly beside me and held me in her arms. I was crying so hard, Jasper had to step out of the room from the strength of all the emotions I was giving off.

"But please understand, it wasn't easy for me to tell you all those lies when... " He sighed. "You weren't going to let me go, I could see that in your eyes. So I had to do it. I had to say that I didn't… that I no longer…" he huffed angrily.

I could imagine him running his hand through his hair, right about now.

"But to see you believe that one, single lie after all those times I had said how much I love you, Bella it tore me apart. It was so hard to keep myself forced under a calm mask at that time when inside, knowing that you easily believed that I didn't… love you anymore," he took in a shaky breath and continued. "I was hurting more than I ever had. But I had to say it. I thought that if I convinced you that I had moved on, and since human memories fade fast, that you would eventually also be able to do the same."

A bitter laugh escaped from my lips. Alice's grasp around me tightened protectively.

"Do you really think that I could simply wipe you out of my memory? That I could possibly move on and pretend that you never existed and live a happy human life? Well let me tell you, that that is the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard! The moment you left me Edward, I lost grasp of any happiness I could have experienced in my life... Because the moment you stepped out of my life, you took away from me one of the most important reasons I had to live my life. I could easily say that you took life itself away from me." My voice wavered at the end as the pain I was feeling from recalling those days that I was nothing, seeped through.

I could tell that Edward was speechless. That he didn't know what to say to make me feel better, to subdue me. But I didn't want to be subdued… at least not yet when there were still so many things that I wanted to say. No, scratch that— that I _needed _to say. He was still silent and all I could hear was his sobbing. I felt a pang of pain at such a sad sound, nevertheless I continued.

"You accuse me of not believing all those hundred, thousand times you told me that you love me, but didn't you ever stop to think that you're no different? You've always been so unsure of how strong your grasp of me is, do you really think that my love for you is beneath your love for me? You said it tore you apart thinking I believed your lie so easily, so can you imagine what it's doing to me when I think of how you thought, without a doubt, that I could ever forget about you?" I stopped and took in a staggered breath. I heard Edward start sobbing again, and that caused my tears to fall rapidly.

"You're right. I was too thickheaded to see how true your words were… How undeniably you did love me." He answered in a resigned but still pained tone. "I just couldn't bring myself to believe… It was just always so irrational on how someone, an innocent human being like you could possibly want, moreover love a monster like me."

I felt myself flinch at the pain I heard in his voice. How could he delude himself into thinking all of these? I started to reason with him again, disbelief coloring my voice.

"I've been telling you I love you for so long. I've not only been telling youhow much you mean to me, I've been showing you how important you are to my life by wanting to be with you no matter what you are. I told you before, and I'm telling you now, it doesn't matter to me if you're a vampire or a werewolf or a goblin or whatever! To me you are _Edward_, nothing more. I don't care about how dangerous it is to stay with you, because as long as I have you, I feel the safest I've ever been, even if it's in the brink of death! And I know, without a doubt, that I would never have been able to walk away from you, willingly and without a fight."

Edward let out a low growl— it wasn't at all menacing, but pained. I could imagine him shaking his head as he spoke.

"But _I_ care. I care about what happens to you, more than my own life. If you die, if you get hurt, it will always be my fault, my responsibility no matter how much you say that it isn't. If I hadn't put myself into your life, you wouldn't even be in danger in the first place." Edward's voice rang out the phone.

"You're not the one who put yourself in my life. You gave me a choice, remember? I was the one who chose to stay with you, so don't go blaming yourself for everything that happens to me. Not everything is your fault, Edward." My voice grew softer at the end.

Edward sighed. "Maybe… but this time it is. Could you ever forgive me Bella? For leaving you? For causing you so much unneeded pain and for messing up your life? I would understand if you hate me right now, though… you have every reason to." I could hear the immense sadness in his voice.

I let out a breath in disbelief. "I could never possibly hate you Edward. And I do understand why you left… I just wish you didn't and wouldn't think so lightly of my feelings towards you."

"It won't happen again, I swear. I won't make the same mistake twice. I don't want to be without you again, Bella." Edward's voice was still sad as he spoke. Then he sighed. "Can you believe that, after all the stupid, inexcusable things I've done, I really and truly do love you?"

"If you can believe that I do." I heard him let out a weak laugh, but it wasn't just a plain laugh— it was full of happiness, relief… release.

And that was it. That sound alone took all the bitterness and pain that I had felt, away from me. All the pent up emotions I felt since Edward left, all the hurt I had experienced had flown off. It suddenly didn't matter that he left, I understood his intentions clearly. He never wanted to leave, he just wanted to keep me safe. That idea was absurd of course. I was and never will be safe. He said it himself once, not long ago— I was a magnet for trouble. Yet, all that mattered now was that through all of his months of absence, he still loved me— he never stopped doing so.

But why did I feel that this peacefulness was only short-lived? I felt as if I was forgetting something important. I didn't know why, but to me, it felt like the calm stillness before a horrendous storm. I shoved that thought out of my mind at first, returning to the present.

"Are you coming back now?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, we all are. I can't stand the thought of another day without you, Bella. We'll catch the soonest possible flight out."

A small flicker of happiness went through me as I stood up from my bed. I didn't realize that Alice had made her way back to the window and Jasper had made his way back inside the room. They were standing together, hand in hand.

A small smile made it's way to my lips as I realized I would be re-united with Edward soon. That, like Alice and Jasper, we would be together again.

"Bella?" Edward's voice held the slightest hint of anxiety. I didn't realize I haven't spoken yet.

"Yes?"

"I…" he trailed off. "Can you please put Alice on the phone?"

"Sure." Before I could even move an inch, Alice was in front of me with her hand held out, waiting for me to give her the cellphone.

She went to the corner of the room and spoke in the same quiet but fast voice she used earlier. I went to stand beside Jasper as he gazed out the window. I was comforted that he didn't flinch away from me, nor was he as withdrawn as he usually was with me. I guess the Cullens' leaving took a toll on everyone. A flicker of joy went through me as I thought of them— Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie.

The happiness wore off a little when my thoughts reached Rosalie though. I never was in good terms with her and I wondered how she would treat me when they got back. Pretty much the same, maybe even worse after Edward forced them to move out of Forks due to me. I sighed. No matter how much I wanted things to get better with Edward's breathtaking, goddess of a sister, I didn't know how to get her to open up to me. Because to her, I was an unwelcome human who was let in on their secret existence.

I was drawn away from my own thoughts when Jasper spoke. But he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were searching for something in the stillness of the night.

"Bella, Patrick will be here in a short while."

A pit in my stomach opened up as his words registered in my mind. My eyes scrunched up in realization and I covered my face with my hands. Patrick. What was I going to tell him? I was right. Just after one issue was resolved, things were going to get complicated… again. Why me?

Jasper sensed my growing distress and sent a wave of calm. "I think you should tell him that the family's coming back." He suggested, albeit unsurely. "Just so he knows."

"Jasper's right. You should tell him." I jumped, slightly startled that Alice was beside me again. I didn't even hear her get off the phone. "We're going to visit his family once Edward and the others arrive, but prior notice is always good."

"You're going to see his family?" I asked in a weary tone.

"Yes." Alice replied in a thoughtful tone. "There are some matters that we need to discuss."

I opened my mouth to ask further but was cut off by Alice. "Edward will tell you everything when he gets here. Okay?"

I narrowed my eyes, but nodded. I was suddenly anxious with Edward's arrival. How was I going to explain everything that happened when he left? About Patrick and the Cullents' arrival? About earlier this evening when I told Patrick that… Oh no. How was I going to explain _that _to Patrick when Edward arrived?

Jasper sent another wave of calm, eyeing me curiously. I avoided his gaze and looked out the window. I jumped back in surprise. Patrick was sitting calmly in one of the tree branches, surveying me with a curious expression.

Alice turned to me. "Jasper and I better go. We need to fix the house if the others are arriving soon." She paused and I could see through the moonlight that her eyes suddenly filled with excitement. She continued in her usual cheerful tone and started to bounce on her lithe feet. "Oh, I can't wait to take you shopping again!"

I cringed at the thought of Alice's torturing shopping excursions. I really would never get used to her threshold of energy. She laughed at my expression but enveloped me in a hug. Jasper did the same. When he drew back though, he murmured a sincere thank you.

"What are you thanking me for?" I asked, slightly confused.

Jasper smiled warmly at me. "For making everything better."

I frowned faintly at him. "Don't go thanking me just yet."

He laughed. I was surprised at the sound. I don't remember hearing Jasper laugh before. It was nice— it caused a small smile on both mine and Alice's lips.

Patrick jumped into the room, to give them more access to the window. But before Alice jumped out, she turned and gave Patrick a curious glance. Her eyes held its curiosity as she spoke to both of us.

"We'll see you soon." With that, she turned and jumped out the window.

I look outside and saw two white blurs race off into the night. I sighed and turned to look back at Patrick. His face was slightly melancholy but I could see from the way his eyes darted back and forth from mine that he had a lot of questions in mind.

I took in every feature his face held. Suddenly feeling my heart thump against my chest. He looked so much like Edward, acted so much like him, it was so difficult to tell them apart— so difficult to identify which emotions belonged to whom. I was in love with Patrick, yes that's true. But I was also still in love with Edward too— I loved him too deeply to even think of letting go.

But now, standing in front of Patrick, I suddenly felt my loyalty waver. A time would come when I had to choose between the two of them and I knew that that time was nearing closer and faster than I would have wanted. When that time came, a voice was telling me that I would inevitably choose Edward… but why was I suddenly having my doubts?

I shook these thoughts away, determined to worry about them only when that time arrived. Right now, I still needed to tell Patrick about the Cullens' return.

I looked him in the eye and took a deep breath. "I need to tell you something."

His face grew expressionless, causing a slight twinge of pain course through me. I could see that this was going to be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation.

"What is it?" he asked in what I could see was forced calmness.

I looked away, not daring to look in his eyes, being the coward that I was. I spoke only three words— three words that, a while ago, brought a tremendous amount of comfort and security. But now, telling it to Patrick's face— Patrick who had stitched me up and held on to me so carefully and patiently— brought nothing but anxiety and apprehension… I knew though, amidst all the sudden unexplainable uncertainty I was feeling, that one thing was for sure. These three words would undeniably change everything that came and would come to be.

"Edward's coming back."

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**A/N: I would just like to inform you that even if the poll in my profile is still up, you can't vote anymore. I just can't close it here yet because you'll see the results. But that's it. I got the results and it was a close fight. Don't let any further chapters mislead you though… Bella has still yet to make up her mind. But one thing's for sure, I have my ending.:)**


	24. Unforseen Guests

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Cullents.**

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**Chapter 24: Unexpected Guests**

"When?"

I looked up at the sound of Patrick's calm voice. He was looking out the window. His face betrayed no emotion— it was empty, expressionless. In the dim moonlight, his topaz eyes that were usually a smoldering liquid gold turned into a hard, solid stone.

"Soon." I answered in a quiet voice, still eyeing his stone face. "They said they'll catch the soonest possible flight to Seattle."

"They?"

My throat suddenly felt so dry. When I answered his question it was with a very raspy voice. "His family's coming back too."

The deafening silence that followed was excruciating. I had no idea how he was feeling right now or whether he had already absorbed what I had said. He just continued to lean against the window frame, never once looking at me.

I felt the smaller part of my heart slowly tearing itself as the seconds passed by. It was starting to detach itself and steadily crumble— threatening to leave a void in my chest. I didn't know why I, at this moment, desperately wanted to hear his voice, for him to tell me that everything was going to work out. I couldn't comprehend why I wanted to feel his cold, soothing hands on my skin— to have his comforting arms around me. I couldn't understand why I hated to see him putting up a wall between us. I knew that it would be better for the both of us if we gradually withdrew from one another— it would cause both of us less suffering in what was about to come. But even with knowing this, I still wanted to get lost in his penetrating, soft, golden eyes— the eyes full of warmth and emotion that I loved… the eyes that were, at this moment, not what they usually were.

"Say something. Anything." I said in a quiet voice. The desperation in it was easy to hear.

"I should leave." The dead tone of his voice and the words he said caused the tearing in my chest to grow slower and all the more painful.

"Wh—"

"I need to tell the others." He cut me off. "You should tell Alice and Jasper to come back. You can't stay here unprotected."

My heartbeat started to climb. "Don't go yet. Please." The sound was too soft, too low for a normal person to hear, but it was enough.

He stepped away from the window with the same hard, reserved face he had on earlier. But as soon as he looked at me, all of his pretenses were dropped. Through my blurred vision, I saw a hint of pain flash through his eyes as it turned back to a warm, liquid gold. I felt my cheeks grow warm as he continued to observe me. I wonder what he was seeing that caused him to drop his sudden coldness.

"You're crying." He muttered as he swiftly brushed the back of his hand across one of my cheeks.

I brought one hand up and felt the warm liquid that was falling rapidly from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away but the effort was shunned. The tears continued to fall. It seemed like they didn't want to stop falling just yet. I shook my head and murmured an apology.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Silly Bella."

His voice was not cold anymore. It was smooth, soft velvet once again. But now his eyes contained guilt and shame. Seeing these two emotions in them made me feel a flicker of anger— he shouldn't be like this— but this was thoroughly covered by my own guilt. I was doing this to him. He was feeling bad for something that I did to him. Everything was my fault. These thoughts caused more tears to escape my eyes. No matter how hard I fought against them, they would not surrender. Patrick's eyes grew wide and concerned as I started to sob harder.

His arms were suddenly around me. His hands were caressing my hair, my face. I could feel his cold breath in my hair as he murmured comforting words to me in a low and soft voice. I struggled to compose myself as I held on to him, breathing in as much of his sweet scent as I could. I concentrated on his slow, even breathing and tried to mimic it— inhaling and exhaling the same time he did. I continued this for a short moment and did not let my focus waver until I was sure that I was thoroughly calm.

When I was sure that I wouldn't start all the water works again, I released myself from him, but he kept his hands on either side of my shoulder. I was surprised to see that we were sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"Feeling better?" he asked in a gentle tone.

"Barely."

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

The anger that subsided a while ago flared up again. "What are you apologizing for?"

"I shouldn't have acted that way." He glanced at me, a small smile in place. "But it won't happen again. I promise."

I huffed angrily and narrowed my eyes. He shouldn't be the one apologizing; I should be the one doing that. He let go of me and stood up. My eyes widened and my anger was temporarily forgotten once again.

"Where are you going?"

"I really should go and tell my family the news."

I didn't want to be left alone. No, I illogically didn't want him to leave me. Every minute we spent together was now crucial. My heart started to beat frantically. Amidst the profound silence, I knew he could hear it. He eyed me apprehensively, taking in whatever my face held.

"I suppose it could wait until the morning." He said slowly in a hesitant voice.

I let go of the breath I didn't even know I was holding and instantly relaxed as he sat down beside me again.

"You're staying?" I asked hopefully.

He frowned. "I don't really think you're giving me much of a choice and…"

"And?" I probed.

His eyes were careful as he spoke. "Well… I'm afraid to leave you. Even if it would just be for a short while, even if Alice and Jasper would stay when I go, I would still feel… anxious to be away from you under the present circumstances."

I suddenly remembered what happened earlier this evening with Irina. It was hard to think that after all that happened this night, that encounter just happened a few hours ago. It felt like it was from another millennia. Another thought made its way into my mind belatedly. I was still in the dress Lassarina had put me in.

"I need a human minute."

He smiled softly and made his way to the rocking chair in the corner. "I'll be right here."

I grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the bathroom. I hurried taking a bath and as I brushed my teeth, trying to be quick but thorough. When I entered my room again, Patrick was no longer where I left him. He was now standing in the middle of the room, gazing at the floorboard underneath him with a curious expression on his face. I stood beside him and looked at the same spot his eyes were staring at. There was nothing of interest.

"What are you staring at?"

He looked back at me and answered off-handedly. "Nothing."

I narrowed his eyes at me. His eyes were too innocent. He let out a resigned sigh and my feet were suddenly off the floor. I yelped in surprise. He carried me to my bed and returned to sitting down on the rocking chair.

"You should get some sleep. It's been a long day."

I eyed him warily. Even if he said he wouldn't leave, how can I be so sure he wouldn't disappear the instant I drifted off to unconsciousness?

"I'm not going anywhere. Really." His face held an amused expression but his tone was sincere.

"You better not." I mumbled incoherently as I slid under the covers.

He chuckled in response.

I looked at him as I curled to my side. His eyes were serene, but deep in thought. His face glowed in the moonlight— he looked like an angel beautifully carved by a master of art. He was my angel, my protector— even if it was just for now. And I took comfort in this thought as the darkness swallowed me into the night.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"You worry too much."

The sun was about to set and I was sitting on the passenger seat of Patrick's Porsche. We were in front of his house now but I made no move to get out.

"I have every right to worry."

"Yes… If there's any reason to worry at all. But there isn't, so calm down." He took my face and held it gently in his hands. "All your worrying is making _me_ irrationally anxious."

I was inevitably calmed by his cool touch. But I still answered back in a serious tone. "If Lassarina turns decides to make treat me as her life-sized Barbie again, I'm seriously going to go home whether you take me or not."

He chuckled as he got out of the car and— in a heartbeat— he was opening the passenger door for me. The moment we reached the door of his colossal house though, it slammed open and a spiky haired vampire came bounding towards us. Before I knew what was happening, Alice's cold arms were around me.

"Bella!" she was bouncing on her lithe feet as she spoke.

"Alice?" I was dumbfounded. "What are you doing at Patrick's house?"

"Silly. I told you last night that Jasper and I were going to visit, remember?" her voice was cheerful as usual.

"Welcome back Bella!" Lassarina's voice was as cheerful and bright as Alice's. These two would be able to get along quite nicely.

Before I could respond to her though, she was already dragging me into the living room. Ethan was having a conversation with Vaughan and Jasper, Josette was watching television— the news from what I could see— and Lyra was sitting on the cushion beside the couch reading a thick novel. Even though they didn't give any acknowledgement, I knew that they were already aware of my presence.

Lassarina led the way to the couch, talking nonstop with Alice the whole time. Patrick was unusually silent and bothered me. But whenever I chanced a glance at him, he would give me a small smile.

I didn't really know why we came to his house again and at a late hour— it was almost evening. He already told his family about the most recent news this morning. Maybe he wanted me to see Alice and Jasper… but he could have just called them to go to my house. Why did he bring me here? Not that I minded of course.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel bored as I listened to Lassarina and Alice's conversation for what seemed like hours. I was content to just sit here and see how easily they got along with each other.

I was starting to worry about whatever torture they might have for me in the future when Patrick suddenly placed his marble hand in mine. I looked up at him and saw that his face became reserved and emotionless again, as it was last night. This sudden change caused a slight anxiety to trickle in me. But the anxiety was not able to settle in because the instant I became aware of it, it was taken away. A calm wave washed through me, replacing it.

My eyes flickered to Jasper and Vaughan. With both of them here, no negative emotions could possibly overcome anyone in the room.

"10 seconds." Lassarina's soft voice rang throughout the room. I didn't notice how quiet it had become.

10 seconds? What did she mean? I looked at Lassarina questioningly but she did not meet my gaze. Her eyes were glued to the front door, as were everyone else's— everyone except Patrick. I was getting confused. But just as I was about to ask Lassarina about her declaration further, the door that they were watching opened slowly.

The moonlight flooded through the open door, putting a mystical glow around those who had just entered. I didn't notice that Alice and Lassarina had stood up and led the guests into the living room. I barely noted that Patrick had released my hand and that somehow, I was already standing up. Through the dead silence, the rapid beating of my heart silently but audibly sounded through the room.

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**A/N: I am so sorry about how long it took for me to post this chapter. I was originally planning to put it up earlier this morning but we had to leave early. (My family and friends treated me out. We celebrated my birthday— yay!)**

**So, go on and give me good, long reviews people.:) I will greatly appreciate it and it will make me extremely happy!**


	25. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hello guys

Hello guys. I'm sorry to say that both my stories would be put on hold for a little while. You see, school's just started again and I have loads of homework and research work. That and I have to come up with ideas for my thesis and I have loads of college application forms to fill in and entrance exams to study for. I am deeply and immensely sorry but I promise to update whenever possible.

Zandra Gorin


	26. A Bittersweet Reunion

**A/N: I know I told you I wouldn't be updating a lot and that's true. But I found some time to squeeze this chapter in for y'all. I hope you enjoy. But I reiterate, after this it would be a long wait for the next chapters. I'm sorry but I'm a student balancing a lot of things. Tsktsk.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the Cullents.**

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**Chapter 25: A Bittersweet Reunion**

There, standing in the middle of the room were Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rosalie. They were smiling at me. All of them— even Rosalie. As I looked in their eyes I could see only pure happiness radiating as they gazed at me. Each one of them hugged me tightly, as tight as they could. I should have felt happy by then for I was reunited with my family again. But a sudden pain entered my body— pain that even Jasper and Vaughan could not contain. Because these set of arms were not the ones I wanted to feel, these pairs of eyes were not the ones I longed to see.

My eyes scanned the rest of the room for him but he wasn't there. Had he lied to me again? Was I honestly that naïve to have believed him so easily? No. I refused to believe that. He _was _coming back. He promised and I trusted him with my life.

"We've missed you so much Bella dear." Esme smiled at me lovingly.

"Yeah Bella. You don't know how hard it was not having you around. There was no one to watch trip all over the place." Emmett's booming laughter sounded throughout the room.

Rosalie's hand instantly found its way to the back of Emmett's head. Emmett frowned at her, "What did you do that for?"

I had to laugh at that. The others joined in but the laughter died out and soon enough, it was silent again. It was in that silence where I heard the soft thud of a door and saw two figures enter the living room.

As I followed her movements, I realized I didn't notice that Alice had left the room earlier. She walked towards Jasper and took her place beside him. My eyes wandered toward the other figure that entered and my breath hitched. If there was any opening at all in my chest, I was sure that my heart could have jumped out of it. There, standing in the center of the room with his eyes cast downwards was the reason for my existence, my true other half. I heard the soft gasps around me as the Cullents laid eyes on Edward for the first time.

Was this true? Was he really here standing right in front of me?

My feet started to move on its own accord and I felt everyone's focus shift to me. When I was only a foot away from where he stood I stopped. Why wasn't he moving? Why was he just standing there and not doing anything? My eyes irrationally filled up with tears and my chest instinctively tightened with these thoughts. Did he change his mind? Was he regretting his decision to come back?

And then, as if he heard the thoughts that passed through my head, he looked up slowly. The instant our eyes met, everything around me melted away. He gazed at me from under his lashes. His eyes were a scorching molten gold. They showed his uncertainty, pain, longing but above all… his love. I shuddered at its intensity.

Slowly, hesitantly, I let my hand reach out to his face and brush his cheeks, never once looking away from his gaze. My mind did not acknowledge the sharp intakes of breath that occurred simultaneously around me. The entirety of my being was only focused on Edward and Edward alone. The moment our skins touched, a jolt of electricity coursed through us. But I didn't pry my hands away from his face. I cupped his cheek with one hand and continued to trace his features with the other. My fingers grazed his hair and made its way down to his forehead. He closed his eyes slowly as I went down further and allowed me to brush his cool eyelids. From there, my fingers glided on his straight nose. I then let my fingertips brush against his cold, marble lips. He opened them slightly as I traced its outline and I felt his cool breath against my hand.

My memory had not done him justice. The dreams, the visions, every thought I had of him could never compare to the god-like beauty that was right before me. This was real— he was really here, he came back to me. I couldn't find the right words to express the complexity of what I was feeling as I looked at him, as I touched his face.

He took the hand the was still hovering over his lips, as carefully as he always did. He brought it up against his cheek and I felt him inhaling the scent from my wrist. Slowly, he turned his head and gently kissed the palm of my hand.

As our eyes found each other again, my self-control completely disappeared. I mindlessly flung myself to Edward and held on to him with every ounce of strength I could muster and sobbed into his chest. I heard his soft intake of breath at the suddenness of my actions and felt his hands hesitantly encircle my waist. But I pressed myself against him, wanting nothing more than to feel the coolness that was radiating off his skin, to be as close to him as possible. The next thing I knew, he was already the one that was pulling me tighter against himself— as tight as he could without hurting me— and he was placing chaste kisses on my forehead, my eyes, on every part of my face that he could reach but never my lips. I was admittedly too distracted to put much care on this issue as I could only focus on so many things at once.

I nuzzled the side of his neck and let my lips trace his jaw line at the same time inhaling his amazing, intoxicating scent. I pulled my face away slightly and took in his breathtaking perfection. I saw that his eyes were closed and a small smile was on his lips.

"You came back." If it wasn't for his vampire hearing, there was no way he could have heard me. "You're really here."

His eyes opened and smothered me with its intensity. "Bella, I would never desire to be anywhere else if you won't be there with me."

He held on to me tighter as he whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. His soft, velvet voice weakened my knees and his indescribably sweet breath didn't help me regain composure one bit. I guess due to his prolonged absence, his effect on me impossibly magnified. Edward's arms were the only ones holding me up as I continued to hold his gaze, letting his words sink in and settle themselves in my heart. My vision started spinning but I did not let that hinder me from looking at my Adonis.

"Breathe Bella." Edward's eyes were wickedly amused as he spoke in a low chuckle.

I willingly obliged. I don't know how long we stood there, content in each other's arms just looking at each other when the world started to move again.

"If I remember correctly, Alice gathered us here because we have matters of greater importance to attend to." Lyra's carefully controlled voice broke the barrier that separated Edward and me from the rest of the people in the living room.

I saw Edward's eyes visibly tighten as he let go of me completely. That's odd. He didn't even keep his arm around me as he would usually do. His head turned to Alice's direction and he nodded as subtly as he could. He let Alice take me away from him and stand me beside herself and Lassarina as he positioned himself in between Emmett and Carlisle. My chest tightened again and I did my best to breathe evenly. I was being overly dramatic. There was absolutely no reason to panic.

"I'll get straight to the point then. Irina wants revenge… and she's teamed up with Victoria."

Alice's voice echoed in my head as I tried to make sense of what she told me. The two vampires who hated me were together… and they wanted me dead. I stiffened. Now there was every reason to panic. My breathing started to get short and labored. I saw Jasper move closer to me in his attempt to send out calming waves. It was working… sort of.

"I'm sorry. I think I speak for the rest of my family when I say that I don't understand what's going on. My family is well aware of this Irina but who is Victoria?" Vaughan said with confusion visible on his face. "And what exactly is your relationship to Bella?" his eyes rested on Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward as he said the latter but I had a feeling that his question was mostly directed to Edward.

"I'm sorry. I got too ahead of myself." Alice smiled apologetically. "These are Emmett, Rosalie and Edward— my siblings. And these are Carlisle and Esme our parents. Well, non-biologically of course."

She turned and this time addressed her family. "They on the other hand are the Cullents. They are Vaughan and Josette, Lassarina and Ethan, and Lyra and Patrick." I took note of how she coupled them all off and when she paired Lyra and Patrick, a small knot in my stomach formed.

"He looks like Edward." Emmett said in what I believed was supposed to be a whisper.

Rosalie smacked Emmett's head in an instant. But Emmett was too busy ogling that he didn't even give her a proper reaction. I could see the room was quietly comparing Edward and Patrick. As I looked around, only then did I notice how Patrick and Edward were standing right in front of each other with identical postures, looking at each other with a great intensity that would make any other person run for his life. Though it didn't seem like either of them were going to surrender in this staring contest any time soon.

Alice cleared her throat loudly causing all eyes to shift back to her. "Yes, thank you for the keen observation Emmett. Well, you ask who Victoria is so…"

Alice first proceeded with telling us about the encounter with Irina for the benefit of the Cullens. Then she started to recount what happened with Victoria almost a year ago. She told the Cullents about the baseball game, the chase, the hunt, and the disposal of James— Victoria's mate. I didn't know if it was because of Vaughan and Jasper's presence but they didn't seem fazed one bit.

"But why is this Victoria going after Bella if it was Edward that killed her mate?" Vaughan asked.

Alice looked to her family, unsure whether she should tell them that I was more than a mere close friend to the family. Edward's eyes flashed to Patrick and his eyes suddenly clouded with uncertainty.

"Well you see, Victoria wants to make Edward feel the pain she went through as a sort of compensation." Alice started off hesitantly.

"And that involves Bella because?" Vaughan pressed.

He seemed kind of slow. With the way Edward and I acted a while ago, I was so sure that by now the rest of his family knew what Alice was subtly trying to point out. But Ethan's telepathy, Lyra's perceptiveness, Lassarina's sensitivity and Josette's uncanny ability to interpret and see the underlying emotions in gestures and actions sure helped them.

"Bella is Edward's mate." A flicker of surprise washed over me as an irritated, impatient voice rang through the room. It was Rosalie who spoke. "Victoria therefore sees it fit. Mate for a mate."

"But we shouldn't be worried. There are only two of them. We've got the upper hand." Lassarina pointed out.

"That's not entirely correct." I saw Alice shift uncomfortably. "Irina and Victoria are creating an army of newborns."

I think she saw the bewilderment in my face because she asked Jasper to explain how the newborns can serve as a threat to us. I can say, I did not like what I heard one bit.

"When?" Patrick's voice startled me. He hadn't spoken till now.

"A week from now." Alice answered swiftly.

"How many?"

"Around twenty, including Victoria and Irina. But their numbers will diminish."

My breathing slowly became shallower. How were they going to fight so many newborns with immense strength? What if one of them got killed? What if it was Patrick, or Alice or… I refused to think of his name.

"Bella relax. We won't let anything happen to you." Patrick tried to soothe me, but it wasn't working. He took my hand and then pandemonium ensued.

Edward gave off a loud, menacing growl. I looked in time to see Emmett and Carlisle restrain him but he was trying to throw them off. Simultaneously, Lyra let out a growl that could have easily belonged to a tigress and flung herself forward. Lassarina quickly got hold of her and Ethan ran forward to help her contain Lyra. I could see Carlisle reasoning with Edward but his eyes were focused on Patrick and they were aflame with rage and… pain?

I looked at Patrick and saw that he was looking intently at Edward, focusing on something very hard. I immediately knew what was happening.

"Stop! Patrick, stop it!" I yelled angrily at him.

Surprise flitted on Patrick's face as he looked at me. Lyra stopped struggling against Ethan and Lassarina and turned to look at me with bitter amazement.

"What are you talking about? He's not doing anything!" Lyra growled at me.

"He's provoking him. He's thinking of things that he knows would cause a reaction to Edward." Ethan reasoned.

I looked at Ethan, surprised that he knew this. But of course, Edward was not the only mind reader in this room.

Lyra's eyes widened, knowing her brother would not lie to her. She bowed her head in embarrassment but Patrick continued to stand beside me, his face was hard and barred from any emotion.

Edward's growls subsided and turned into silent sobs. He fell to the floor as Carlisle and Emmett let go of him, certain that he would not try to attack anymore. I rushed to his side and kneeled beside him, unsure of what to do. I never dreamed of seeing Edward like this— pained to the extent that he looked so helpless and broken. I could see his entire frame shaking and his hands were curled into fists. As my eyes darted downwards, I noticed a patch of moisture on the floor. I instinctively raised Edward's head so that I could see his face better.

"Edward." I gasped softly. "You're crying."

There on his cheeks, was some sort of liquid now flowing freely from his eyes. I ran my hand over his cheek in an attempt to wipe it dry but more of the liquid trailed down, making it wet again.

"That's impossible." Josette said as she and the rest of the group went nearer, trying to get a look at something so improbable. "Vampire's can't cry."

"But it's true." I argued.

Carlisle kneeled down beside me and examined the moisture that was still escaping Edward's eyes.

"It's venom." He announced.

Vaughan let out a cry of incredulity. "Amazing."

Edward wiped one cheek and examined the liquid that was now only falling at random intervals. He looked away and wiped his other cheek. When he finally looked up he gave me an apologetic smile and helped me stand up.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." He apologized— for crying or going out of control, I didn't know. "They just came out on their own." He chuckled in embarrassment. The latter enlightened me on why he was apologizing.

"Crying hardly deserves an arrest warrant. You shouldn't be apologizing. I cry all the time." I said jokingly.

"True." He smiled his crooked smile.

My eyes softened as I looked into his still shimmering topaz ones. "You cried… for me." I whispered. I didn't know if the disbelief was apparent in my voice but I was still in awe over what happened.

He nodded slowly but he smiled softly at me. His eyes were smoldering once again. "My tears are only for you."


	27. Tying Loose Ends

**A/N: I'm baaaaaack! I am soooooo sorry for not updating for a very, very, very long time. My schedule was just so tight and my mind was so stressed out about all the schoolwork that I couldn't find time to sit down and write a new chapter. I am immensely sorry and I thank you for your patience.:) I'm sorry it's just a short chapter... I couldn't draw it out more cause everything essential is already in it. So, I hope this chapter gives you something to think about. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 26: Tying Loose Ends**

The rest of the evening went on quite smoothly, to say the most. After a briefing up from Jasper about newborns, he, Carlisle, Alice and Josette went on to planning what Alice called the 'perfect plan of attack'. And although Alice said in a very bright and cheerful tone that there was no need for me to be so worried, I couldn't help but feel apprehensive when I thought about them fighting these creatures that seemed so frightfully strong and driven by bloodlust. I just couldn't imagine petite Alice facing one of them… so fragile looking compared to the rest. Or Lassarina, so sweet and demure.

"Although newborns are strong, they're completely controlled by instinct. They have no control over themselves. We've got the greater experience and skill at our side." Jasper said, trying to console me while sending off a wave of calm.

"Honestly, you're stressing about this far too much than needed. I guarantee you no one is in danger." Alice's voice sounded so sure and confident, I couldn't help but let my anxious thoughts be swayed.

As they talked about battle strategies, the others were scattered around conversing with one another. Lassarina and Rosalie's bell-like laughter was ringing around the room, Patrick and Vaughan seemed to be having a serious discussion, I saw Ethan walking towards Jasper and Emmett was standing in a dark corner huddled over Edward. I walked over to where he was. His head snapped up as I stopped in front of them, his lips forming a small, strained smile.

"Bella." Edward's voice startled me. It sounded tired. A first.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I sat down beside him. I vaguely registered how Emmett sauntered off, murmuring some profanities under his breath.

He widened his eyes innocently. "Nothing."

"I'm not buying that you know."

He chuckled. "Still so stubborn."

My eyes searched his. He gazed back and I saw how sadness overtook his face little by little. I brushed his cheek and he leaned into it, sighing.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

He shook his head as he gave me a small smile and kissed me on the forehead. He copied my earlier action and left a burning trail where his hand swept over my cheeks. Edward stood up and offered me his hand. As we walked back to the living room, I felt a growing unease at the unanswered question.

" . . . started our way of life." I heard Vaughan say as Edward and I sat down beside Jasper and Alice on the sofa. I guess the strategizing was over for now.

"Fascinating." Carlisle breathed. "A new born having enough resistance towards the natural way of feeding without any outside help… It's simply beguiling."

Vaughan's eyes twinkled as he gazed at her daughter with proud eyes. "Lyra's heart's always been in the right place."

Carlisle smiled warmly at her. "I do believe so." He then addressed Lyra, "Your mate is very lucky to have you." His eyes lingered on Patrick.

The reaction Carlisle's words brought on were broad in itself. Edward stiffened beside me. Lyra and I grimaced slightly. Lassarina and Ethan and Josette and Vaughan looked at each other with frowns on their faces. Patrick frowned and twisted his head away from Lyra, refusing to meet her gaze.

"I'm not her mate." He said quietly.

Carlisle's eyes grew slightly wider and his face became apologetic. "Oh! I apologize. It's just that, from earlier, I assumed…"

"It's alright."

An air of awkwardness lingered before I felt it being slowly sucked away. Vaughan's doing of course.

"It's ironic how you could make that assumption when in the past, Lyra _hated_ Patrick."

Lyra's head snapped up, her eyes showed her dismay. "Father!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed about dear." He smiled reassuringly. "Of course, things gradually fell into place." He said, turning his attention back to Carlisle and the others. "You see, when Patrick first came into our family, he was just an 8 year old boy."

The Cullens— Carlisle, Esme, and Alice in particular— seemed engrossed in Patrick's story. Vaughan told it as Patrick told me a few days ago. Ah, those past days without Edward seem so surreal now as I look back.

"That's it." Alice suddenly whispered, breaking the perfect flow of Vaughan's voice as he recounted Patrick's story.

"What's 'it', Alice dear?" Vaughan asked kindly.

"The missing piece." She murmured mostly to herself.

Everybody turned their heads curiously at her. What was going on in Alice's over-the-top mind now?

"Pardon?"

Silence.

"Um… Alice?" Jasper said softly.

Edward raised an eyebrow and shook his head as he read her thoughts. "Impossible."

"How do you know?" Alice challenged.

Edward merely narrowed his eyes as I assumed Alice was saying something to him in his mind. She turned and eyed Patrick intently then her eyes shifted in between Edward and Ethan and I assumed once again that they were having a mental conversation. Edward's face turned disapproving but he slowly, unwillingly nodded.

What happened next confounded me to no end. Ethan made his way to Edward and stopped in front of him. He tilted his head to the side and leaned slowly. I gasped and my eyes widened as he looked like he was about to kiss Edward. But he stopped some few inches away and he sniffed the air around Edward. He then went to an immensely confused Patrick and did the same. Things slowly fell into place for me. He was taking in their scents. But what for? I looked around to see that everyone's faces were just as confused as mine.

Ethan retreated and faced Alice again. "You're right. The scents are too similar."

A soft gasp escaped Lyra and Lassarina's lips. Edward and Patrick were looking at each other in incredulity, wonder and skepticism. The previous perplexity that already somewhat disappeared came back to me again.

"I don't understand." I said.

"Bella, you know that from a vampire's point of view, humans smell differently from each other right?" Alice asked.

I nodded, slightly surprised with the casualness of her use of the 'v' word . But I could sill not grasp on where this was going to lead to.

"Well similarly, our scents are what makes us so unique from each other because we somewhat carry on the smell of our human blood. No two vampires smell exactly alike. But there are some cases that they smell similar to each other. Like in the case of Vaughan, Josette and Lyra, they all smell almost exactly the same to us because they're all blood related. So they have the same scent undertones but it is also mingled with their own unique smell." Alice explained.

I nodded my head slowly, trying my best to cover up the fact that I thought she just spoke to me in pig Latin.

"So. For Edward and Patrick to have even the slightest scent commonality, they have to be blood related."

"So what you're saying is…" I trailed off, my eyes darting back and forth from Edward and Patrick who were still gazing at each other in disbelief. I was finally able to comprehend what she was saying and I did not know what to make of it.

Alice nodded at the clear implications of my unfinished sentence. Both vampire families stared at Patrick and Edward as each and everyone in the room struggled to absorb what Alice was bringing on to us. Edward… and Patrick?

My eyes widened with wonder as I silently compared the both of them. Then slowly, the chips started falling into place.

Of course. Why didn't I realize it was something like this sooner? All those encounters Patrick had with the other vampires… with Irina and Laurent… both had mistaken him for Edward. Shouldn't I have grown suspicious by then? A vampire's eyes were sharp and crystal clear after all. Shouldn't they have noticed the differences Edward and Patrick had even in the dim moonlight? It was a slightly impossible task for a human but it the contrasts shouldn't have been swept over by a vampire, right?

And if their sense of sight failed them, there was still their reliable sense of smell. But even they were fooled by the scent Patrick was giving off… so sure that he was Edward. Laurent realized all too late that he wasn't Edward— only when Patrick got hold of him in an unbreakable grasp… close enough to take in his scent properly and see the distinction it had from Edwards' scent.

Was my mind wandering so freely that I didn't even stop to think about this possibility, that I didn't even probe into the matter on how Patrick was so alike Edward? Too much alike?

Was I that idiotic to have overlooked these details?

I knew the answer as Edward and Patrick continued to stare at each other, both their eyes clouded with half-hearted admittance.

Yes. Yes, I was.

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**Just so you know... your reviews make my day.**


	28. Clearing Vagueness

**A/N: After a long period of hibernation, I finally gathered enough pent up emotions to add another chapter to this story. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I've been so busy with **Destroying Typecasts **that I failed to update for such a long time. I hope you read that story too. It's quite entertaining and not as emotional as this one. So, without further ado, I hope you like this chapter. :)**

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**Chapter 27: Clearing Vagueness**

"What's wrong?"

We were tangled together as we lay in bed, the moon visible through my slightly open window. After what seemed as a very long day, what with all the new revelations and realizations that happened at the Cullents' house, I should have been sleeping— tired out of my wits. But I was wide awake and had no desire whatsoever to sleep, or even to think of the cursed word.

He sighed as he leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes were closed. "Nothing."

Maybe he was mentally drained as I was physically, but still, it bothered me on how quiet he was. Everything seemed normal a while ago in the Cullent house— Edward had took it upon himself to be permanently glued to my side. He insisted on running me back home and as I rode on his back, his rhythmic breathing calming the thumping of my heart, we laughed together as the trees blurred past us. And it felt unreservedly right, my laughter sounded right, the smile that seemed etched on my lips was naturally right… everything fell into place— the moment was perfect.

The complete and utter bliss I felt earlier was still flowing through me, keeping my eyes wide open. But as Edward's silence dragged on, I realized something wasn't okay. Something had changed this evening, and it wasn't supporting the happiness I should be feeling right now, in Edward's arms.

I pulled back and held his cold hand in mine. "You know that I know you better than that Edward."

"Please, Bella. Not now."

He started to get up but I refused to let go of his hand. I only got him back, he couldn't go away yet. I don't know if my heart could take the pain of his absence again.

"Don't go." My voice broke as I tugged at his arm. "Please."

He sighed and as he sat back down, his eyes were unreadable. But then all of the sudden, it was laced with concern. Not a second later, Edward hugged me against his cool marble chest, whispering words of comfort in my ear as he stroked my hair gently and placed light, sweet kisses on my forehead. I didn't realize that tears had already spilled out of my eyes.

I crushed myself into him, holding on as if my life depended on it— and truthfully speaking it did.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn't have… it was wrong for me to do that."

"Stop that." I snapped.

"What?"

"Blaming yourself. Not everything's your fault."

He kissed my forehead and he leaned down to look into my eyes. "But I hurt you. That was very wrong."

I sighed and brushed my lips softly against his. "Just don't leave me again. I don't think I can survive through something like that anymore."

He nodded his head and leaned down to nuzzle my neck. "I won't… I can't leave your side. It's extremely painful for me too." Edward hugged me as tight as he could without crushing me. "I need you Bella— to the most unfathomable degree. My life is nothing if you aren't by me, if you're not with me."

I snuggled against him, not willing to have even a moment of non-contact. I was afraid that if I let him go, I would wake up and discover that this was all a dream. I couldn't live through that anymore.

"That's funny." I smiled.

He looked down and concern laced his features again. "I'm not joking, and I don't think there was any humor in what I just told you."

I laughed at his bewildered expression, and I think his eyes softened at the sound. "That's not what I meant. It's just, well, what you said, it sounded more like me than you." I frowned. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

A small smile formed on his lips. "No, I understand what you're saying."

I traced his lips, my fingers barely touching his cold skin. I felt him shudder against it, and I cupped his cheek instead.

"I've never seen you so sad." I murmured.

He widened his eyes innocently. "I'm not sad."

His crooked smile appeared, but my heart didn't miss a beat like it used to. Something was wrong, the smile was not natural… unforced. I sighed and tried to wiggle myself out of his arms, but Edward only tightened his grip, sadness overtook his features again.

"Don't… Not yet. Please." Edward's voice was as soft as a whisper, but the way it twisted, strangled and broken, made my chest ache. The pain his scorching eyes gave out was unbearable.

I melted against his strong arms as I brushed his cheek with the back of my hand, desperate to comfort him. "I just want to know what's bothering you. I hate seeing you this way."

His topaz eyes smoldered as he looked into mine. "I just… I can't bear it, seeing you walk away from me, pulling away so easily, so soon." He drew in a staggered breath, making such a simple act seem so painful. "Bella, my heart hasn't beat for over 90 years, but now, with you in my arms, it feels like it might leap out of my chest. And just the thought of losing you again, when I just barely got you back… I don't know if a heart can stop beating for twice in a lifetime, but it seems mine can. I know it sounds insane…"

"Edward," I held his face in my hands, looking unblinkingly into his eyes, "I can't leave you. I'm not pulling away from you. And you won't lose me— not unless you want me to get lost." I smiled slightly at his hesitance, "Why are you still so unsure about your hold on me? I should be the one worrying."

He shook his head and a wry smile formed on his lips. "I'm still not certain on everything that concerns you, Bella. I can't see why you would accept me back after what I've done, how you could still love me so deeply after so much unnecessary pain I've caused you."

I felt my eyes flash with conviction as I told him, "You only left to protect me. I understand that. And my love for you will never change. Edward, why can't you still see that? You can even ask Jasper to read me, if you don't want to believe what I'm telling you."

I expected him to be appeased, but doubt still prevailed in his eyes. "Bella, you do know that I love you? That I'll give you anything you want as long as it will make you happy?"

I frowned at him, I was now thoroughly confused. "Of course, Edward, where is this going?"

He ignored my question. "You do know that, if you don't want me anymore, I won't take it against you? That I'll let you go?" Hurt flashed in his eyes, contradicting what he was saying.

"Edward… what?" My heart started to beat frantically against my chest. I was afraid of where this might lead, it sounded so much like a goodbye. And I couldn't lose Edward again. That was selfish of me, I know. But would wanting to live again be really a selfish act?

"Please, Bella. I just want to know the… truth." He took in a deep, unnecessary breath. "Did you move on like I intended you to? Does your heart belong to someone else now?"

"What? Edward, no."

"Because I could leave, I could stay away if that would make things easier for you. If you don't want me, I can go." Edward looked so torn, my heart ached. I wanted nothing more than to wipe away the unnecessary pain he was feeling.

I kissed him lightly, and allowed my lips to linger on his, savoring the sweetness. My memory really hadn't done him justice.

"You might be able to leave me, but _I'm _not strong enough to have you stay away from me."

He smiled slightly at this, but a hint of doubt still remained in his eyes.

"Where did you get that ridiculous idea anyway?" I kept my voice light.

He smiled sheepishly now, but his eyes were still the same. "Like I said, I'm uncertain when it comes to you, Bella." He frowned slightly. "It's slightly disconcerting. I've never been so unsure before."

"Well, it's good for you to experience that once in a while."

His smile dwindled, again. "Are you absolutely sure there isn't anyone else you want?"

I almost laughed at his insecurity. "Of course."

Then suddenly, all the doubt vanished in his eyes, all the uncertainty gone. They became flat black. "What about Patrick?"

My heart stuttered slightly at the mention of his name. And as if this was what all Edward needed to hear, his face became as still as stone.

"What about him?" I asked hesitantly.

"You care about him."

He stated this more like a fact than a question. But he waited for an answer. I looked at him, uncertain whether telling him the truth would be beneficial for him, or whether he might stop breathing altogether. But I didn't want to keep anything from him.

"Yes."

The silence that stretched on was almost unbearable. Then I saw it. Edward's eyes flashed as his grip around my waist tightened.

I almost laughed out with relief as I finally realized what was happening. "Wait. Don't tell me you're jealous?"

His eyes flashed with contempt before he averted his gaze from me, murmuring under his breath before he finally answered. "Maybe."

This time I did laugh. Seeing him as jealous as he was, was quite entertaining. He glanced back at me, his eyes disapproving, slightly embarrassed even.

"What?"

"I think I like making you jealous. It's entertaining." I grinned.

"Well, it's good to see that you find my discomfort so amusing." He grimaced as he murmured.

My eyes softened as Edward continued to avert his gaze from mine. It was obvious that this emotion was so new to him, so foreign. I slightly felt guilty as my teasing must be making things harder for him.

"I do like Patrick," he started to stiffen again, and I raced to finish my sentence, looking straight into his eyes even though he wasn't looking at me, "but it's you I can't live without."

As this realization sank in, a heavy weight lifted itself from my shoulders. All those moments of hesitation with Patrick, the sudden moments of absurdity that left me thinking maybe I was falling in love with him— everything became clear.

I only felt comfort with Patrick because he reminded me so much of Edward. Having him beside me, having him there for me, was almost like having Edward back— like Edward never left in the first place. Sure, there were differences, but they were blood related. So maybe the connection I felt with Patrick had something to do with the connection he had with Edward. Patrick sort of served as my link to Edward, so no matter how much I forced myself, I could never truly have moved on.

The changes Edward brought in my life would never be erased, covered, nor replaced by another. I wasn't in love with Patrick. All those times… I was just reminded of the love my heart would irrevocably hold for Edward.

I was grateful that I was given the chance to be loved by Patrick, to be cared for by him. But no matter how similar he and Edward may be, they were different personas altogether. And now that I was back in Edward's arms, I could clearly see that the feelings I had for Patrick would never be comparable to those I had for Edward.

Maybe that was why I tried so hard to deny it, to block the emotions I felt for Patrick. Because deep down, I knew that no matter how much amount of time I would have been given, any feelings that would have strengthened would never be enough to bury my affection for Edward. They would never surpass my love for him. Nothing would have been great enough to overcome all that I felt towards Edward. My heart would forever belong to Edward.

And now, everything was clear. Edward would truly be the only one for me— the only one I would love for eternity. And somehow, as he finally looked into my eyes with pure adoration and love, I knew that it would be the same for him; that he was as completely changed by me, as I was by him.

"I love you." I whispered, smiling up at him.

"As I do, you." His face was a portrait of tenderness, his eyes so soft but all the more so scorching that I all but melted against his chest.

I reached up and kissed him, my fingers instinctively tangled in his smooth, silken hair. He sighed against my lips and he instantly drew me closer to him. One of his hands cupped my cheek, while the other slid down my arm. I felt myself shiver against the gentleness of his touch. Edward, thinking I was getting cold, started to pull away. But I threw my arms around his neck, and I pressed my lips against his again, eagerly. My hands slid down his front and started a course of their own, playing with the buttons of his shirt, debating whether they should remove the barrier that disabled me to feel and see his perfection.

My heart raced as I unclasped the buttons unthinkingly, and surprisingly he allowed me to do so as his lips travelled down my neck. He growled softly as I freed him from his shirt and traced the planes of his marble chest. I was amazed at the perfection I felt as my fingers traced patterns on his chest. My hands continued down his chest and I felt Edward shiver against me. Edward moaned and his lips vanished from my neck, hungrily capturing my lips instead. I gasped as his hands slid under my shirt and traced the contours of my waist. This was far beyond the restrictions he put up for my safety, but I didn't care. I was too far gone to think— I would gladly take what I could. Just as my fingers shakily tried to lift my shirt up, his cold hands trapped them and he sighed, leaning his forehead against mine.

"Bella," he whispered, "I'm already having trouble controlling myself with you fully clothed. Why don't you help by retaining all your articles of clothing?"

"It's not my fault if I loose control so easily." I murmured, trying to catch my breath at the same time. "Unlike you, I have trouble keeping my hormones in check."

Edward chuckled darkly and threw the covers over me. "You have no idea how wrong you are."

My cheeks warmed as I saw his eyes darken ever so slightly. He smiled, finally, my favorite crooked smile and brushed his fingers across my cheek. "I really missed that."

"And I really missed this."

I smiled as I snuggled closer to him, which was quite a feat, I might add, considering I was all but molded against Edward's body.

He sighed contentedly, and started to stroke my hair in a soothing manner. "You've had a long day. You should be resting."

Edward started humming my lullaby and my eyelids started to drop.

"No, I don't want to go to sleep yet."

Edward chuckled as the words must have sounded garbled already, the letters strung to each other. "I won't leave you, love. Sleep now, my sweet Bella."

And at those familiar words of endearment, all the worry that bubbled in the back of my mind earlier was erased. My fear of him leaving me again seemed foolish now. And with those fears appeased and with the calm that settled in my chest, I finally allowed myself to be whisked off to unconsciousness, the sound of Edward's voice stringing together a peaceful night's slumber.


End file.
